A new year........

Like this picture...let all the past of 2010 wash away and begin to write a new chapter in the sand...that in 2012 we will again wash away. Let the past be the past. Look forward to the future. And relish in the present. 

God Bless!
Have a happy and prosperous New Year!

Are you there God it's me Valecia

Dear God,

     I'm not exactly sure what I need to do to get this body, but I am more than willing to do it. Can you please help create and mold this for me please. This woman's name is Anowa Aadjah. She is referred to as the Nigerian Powerhouse. Now there is no need to make me Nigerian. I just want the body. Or one quite similar. Apparently she weighs over 200 pounds (such as myself), but we all know my body looks nothing like that.  I am sure that my 5'4" stature will make this no easy feat but I am willing to work on it. Since you created me you already know that I have a little over eight months until my 30th birthday. I need to be at least 50% there by then. Asking a trainer to do this for me would be stupid. But I'm not. I'm asking you. I mean really. You are God. You can do anything. Thanks in Advance. Here's another pic to get a full understanding of what I'm looking for.

  Thanks....I love you!                                                  

I Resolve????

DISCLAIMER: We all do it. We tell ourselves every year around this time that we're going to run. Become vegetarians. Stop smoking. Spend less money. Go to church every sunday and become the best person we can possibly be. I've done that every year for at least twenty of my living years. I have told myself every year since I knew what a New years' resolution was that I will lose weight. Ummmm in my defense...sometimes I do. I just don't keep it off. I lose 35 and then gain 50. *shrugs* It's all a very difficult process. I save a thousand in my savings. Then blow it all on some bull shit that when it's all said and done I can't even show you what I spent it on. Resolutions are things we tell ourselves we are going to do in the upcoming year. I'm done telling myself what I will do next. Let's just start slow. How about I just tell the fat girl in the mirror about some of the wacked out shit she did in 'da ten that won't be tolerated once the ball drops. 

Things that are NOT welcome in 2011

(aka leave dat shyt at the door on 12/31/2010 at 11:59 P.M)

 1. Stop losing yourself in relationships.
           Ain't nothing wrong with putting one hundred percent of yourself into your personal (friendships, romantic, and family) relationships, but when shit hits the fan (and it can AND will) you should not be standing  mascara running, teary eyed, with a pill bottle in one hand and an empty bacardi bottle in the other. There is a reason these relationships started. And a reason they end. Rather than feel bad for yourself acknowledge how great you are and feel bad for the OTHER person. They may meet a lot of people before they die, but they will never EVER meet another princess. Another perfection. Another Valecia. If you really must feel a sense of loss. Quickly mourn the loss of someone in your life that wasn't fit to be there. R.I.P to the square that didn't fit your circle. You are no longer allowed to destroy yourself over a person when their are so many people who have yet to partake of the joy of knowing you. 

2.  Stop feeling bad for saying NO. 
      You got that angry black girl facade down pat, but the fact of the matter is you let too much go to heart. If you've given all you can give and decide to tell someone NO say it and keep it moving. Don't say no and give a muthafucka an explanation. Or say no and feel bad about it. How many times has someone told you no? You think they nappy headed asses lost sleep about it? Hmm....all signs point to NO!!!

3.  Stop belittling yourself. 
      No. You don't call yourself ugly. (Because that would be a flat out crime and sin) you do however wake up with just enough time to shower, jump your still half-wet un-lotioned body into work clothes, wash face, brush teeth, and bounce. Just barely making it to work. Standing at the bus stop with your foot half in your shoe. No eyeliner, no mascara, no lip gloss. Wig still needing some adjusting (but we'll take care of that at work in the bathroom). Looking like plain Jane's......older sister. Or worse. Her mama. After work coming home and changing into a holey pair of sweats, with matching holey tank top and let's not forget every black woman's favorite possesion......the infamous silk night scarf. And before you know it, you're headed to bed. Only to start the perpetual cycle of hot mess-ness for a new day. No one is going to love someone who doesn't love themselves. Stop acting like Hot mess when it's quite obvious you are Hot-ness. 

4.   Stop being the victim.
      You know the motto. You don't have time to wait for things to happen to you...when you're making things happen. 
        

I could have added a lot of shit. And not meant it. Like stop drinking. Stop eating red meat. The harsh reality is. The things in this list might be a hell of a lot harder to do than that. Whatever happens the tears and negativity that wrapped so much of this past year is being dropped. Thrown to the side to never be picked up again. A new adventure awaits. Blessings........

Chrisette Michele - Goodbye Game

Not sure why this hit my heart today, but it just touched me on an already emotional day, during an extra emotional moment. I love Chrisette. Her voice is soooo real and heartfelt.

I'm playing the Goodbye Game........

That's what Christmas means to me my love..........

Wishing you and your family a Happy Holidays

Line 1.

The phone......*ahem* the mobile phone. One of the best creations ever made. I won't lie I damn near live and die by my ability to use my blackberry. If I put my hand in my purse and I don't immediately feel it my temperature sky rockets. I like the majority of cell phone owners am addicted to the connectedness that comes with mobile access. I can text, chat, BBM, video chat, Facebook, tweet, and all kindsa shit. My ability to remain  in constant communication with the world is endless. I can connect with anyone. ANYONE. The world wide web coupled with the cool things these new fangled phones do is pure heaven for sneaky people and cheaters. The internet and a phone doesn't make a good person a cheater. It does however make a cheater a better and much more sneaky one. So with all that in mind.....I asked a few friends (by text of course).....

If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/boo/sex thang traded phones for twenty four hours would you still have a girlfriend/boyfriend/boo/sex thang?

 A few of my friends responded with the happy cheery...."oh but of course". Those are the kinds of responses that made me roll my eyes and almost throw my blackberry. You know what I'm saying. Those are the responses I got from girls whose men ain't about shit. You know we all got a friend with a sorry ass man. She knows it. Hell, the world knows it. But she expects you to pretend like he's reformed and pretend like he's a stand-up guy.  Those responses......I all out ignored. Then the REAL responses came. Some said yes....and I believed them. My married friend said her and her husband sometime mistakenly take the wrong phones in the morning. And never has she had an issue. No passwords hidden. No locks. No nothing. And then there were other answers, "Hell no! All my girls think they the only one" said one of my whorebag male friends.

 The most interesting response came from a coworker. She informed me that her boyfriend isn't even "allowed" to own a cell phone.

That's when I gave the WTF face.

 This required more than a back and forth text rapport. This was damn near a face to face interview. Or at least an after work drink session the next day. So over Linguini and Strawberry Limoncello Martinis she explained herself. " He isn't allowed to talk to bitches" she stated. "What does he need to have female friends for?" I already knew it was a question I need not answer. She controlled the relationship and his ability to go any further than 100 feet from his house or job. But she wasn't a saint. Her list of male suitors were lined around the block.

   I won't lie. I thought hmmm seems like a good idea. But honestly what real warm blooded brother (or man of any race) is really okay with being strapped with crazy rules and regulations. Honestly what woman of maturity and normal functioning brain capacity would be okay trying to set those kinds of restrictions on a man? Trust is a questionable thing. I don't toy with it. It's fragile. In today's day in age trust and relationship boundaries are far more gray than than the black and white way that seemed so much easier. On one side unshakeable trust makes an unshakeable relationship. But then again when did having a romantic relationship with someone mean that was an end to any possible personal space?  I'm sure my booski wouldn't be pleased at EVERYTHING in my phone. Or me with his, but that's why my phone is mine. And his is his. So...who knows what would happen if we switched phones. I just know for now......we won't.

If you don't........get in the corner!!

I'm just having one of them days yall' I wanna tell a few people this. I know there's consequences and repercussions to stuff like that, but I mean if it don't get said.....these folks are gonna keep walkin' around thinking being a dummy is ok...these words speak to the masses if they hurt a little don't say anything to me. Simply straighten up and fly right. 

I am a server. The old school term is waitress. That does in no way or language translate to slave. If I'm busy and sweat is pouring down my face Do not. I repeat do not ask me to go get little Bethany a red crayon because she doesn't like orange ones. Do I look like the mutha *bleepin* crayon wrangler??? That's the kinda thing that will make my curly wig stick straight!! Here's a corner take a seat!!!

So I am "friends" with this former plus size porn star on facebook. Apparently she has changed her doggystyle ways, lost weight, and has a WHOLE lot on her mind now! Seems like she forgot who she was. You don't have a gang load of friends on FB because you're a super cool popular chick. You have friends because you used to do PORN sweetie! PORN!!! Ummmm girl please only two years ago you were eating 16 double whopper's with bacon before doin' the Akinyele (aka puttin it in ya mouth) on camera. Now you're talking about black women can't keep men because they are fat and sloppy and ranting and raving about women being hoes?? I mean seriously?? Obviously your mind set ain't very *cough* Crystal Clear! *throws her a dvd* here's a refresher of what you used to be bae!! Go watch that in the corner!!

Relationships are never easy. But if you find someone you truly love no matter what you're going through you should constantly show them that you love them. If not the next person will. Give them the good on the regular. Or the next person will. Compliment or the next person will. You have been warned. You could either cum with someone you love by choice or cum alone because you have NO other option. Ugh Go sanitize your hands and get in the corner!

Don't complain about what you can fix. Fix it or wallow in the despair that is that situation. One of my co-workers goes on and on about how horrible her *cough* (oooh I hate this term) "baby daddy" is. They are almost NEVER together, he doesn't actually "live" with her he's just there to watch the baby (yeah right), he hasn't had a job since 2007, and even then he was only the weed salesmen. Now with all the whining what does lil' miss do??? She gets knocked up again!! Ummm to the corner you go!!!

*Locks door with the dummies inside* wonder how long it will take for them to kill each other with their stupidity?? *walks off*

I've been missing you............

I know *extends hand for light hand spanking* I've been a bad blogger. However in my defense I have been working like a Hebrew slave, I moved, and I just got internet access to the trusty PC again. I will make every effort to NOT take this long ever again between entries. So.....enough groveling on my part. Let me recap my life!


* I am in love with my new gorgeous two bedroom (very empty) apartment. Everything is falling into place bit by bit. It took no adjustment to walk in. I immediately felt like I was at home. I finally got something I wanted and deserved. Valecia: 1 Disappointment: 0


* The braids are out. I have been contemplating and playing with the idea of going natural. I am currently four months post. Not sure what to do next. So many options. So many possibilities. 


* 244 days, 5858 hours, and 351496 minutes until I turn 30. I have a workout regimen to begin. A career to chase. And a destiny to fulfill. Hope you follow in the meantime. 


* Work. Slinging pancakes as always. Looking gorgeous in the process.


* Beginning to work on my book. Yes my book. It's a dream I've had since I was a child. Time to fulfill it.

Nicki and Em-Roman's Revenge

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly excited about the release of Nicki Minaj's first album, "Pink Friday". Yeah in ways I am sooo over her, but this track right here brought me back to life. I don't know what it is; the beat, the punch in the flow or just Em alone (cause honestly Mr. Shady can do NO wrong), but whatever it may be it has me reluctantly on the bandwagon again. Waiting with baited breath for November 22nd. Even thinking about rocking pink toes and fingers on release date. Eff I'm thinking....I'm just gonna do it. LOL Anyway without further chatter check out Roman's Revenge:

Confessions of a bitter Bitch: Should fatties get a room??? My response to the Marie Claire article

Disclaimer: I am not all that fashion forward. I purchase magazines that represent women like me. Like me meaning: African-American, young, working-class, and plus-sized. In my humble opinion Marie Claire doesn't represent the woman I am....therefore I don't purchase it. I do however feel a need to respond to what I consider is an attack on my person and persons like myself. I am aware everyone has an opinion, but that seems pretty effed up and hurtful. So I have no choice, but to respond. 

First and foremost if you have no clue what I'm talking about please read this first. 

Marie Claire's Mike and Molly Article

First I'm not sure who irritates me more in this situation. CBS for making this show, Mike and Molly which isn't a look into the romance of an overweight couple, but merely a vaguely veiled excuse to make fun of plus-sized people. Or Ms. Maura Kelly who simply described the overweight population as lazy asses who have put forth absolutely no effort to change their lifestyles. Or should I be mad at Marie Claire for printing this BS for the world to see? Eff it. I'm mad at all three. So let me break it down into sections. 

CBS

It would be one thing if you chose to make this a romantic drama or something worth watching, but a couple that meets at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting??? ummm seriously?? Filled with fat jokes??? are you serious?? Maybe ideas like this is the reason why I stopped watching CBS in like......the late eighties. This is a complete fail on your part. 97.1 Million people in the United States Of America are overweight. I'm sure out of that large number of people you are poking fun at one is at the very least the son, daughter, mother or father of someone on that set. Hell we know there is at least two overweight characters on set already. The two who chose to take the leading roles *rolls eyes* and I can't possibly begin to imagine what they were thinking. Well CBS I'm disappointed with you, but then again I don't really expect that much from you anyway. I'm not quite sure why I even acknowledged you. This either won't make it to the lineup or will be off the air quicker than you can say Walker Texas Ranger.

Ms. Maura Kelly

I'm confused as to why I even found this on your blog. From the side excerpt explaining it this blog was made solely for you to catalog your search for love. It also read that you are in your thirties and have never been in love. Hmmm I wonder why??? What does berating people have to do with you finding someone?? My fat ass has never had to catalog my lack of love life and datelessness. Wanna know why??? Because that has never been the case for me. I've always been wanted. Even if it was the wrong damn guy. I never searched for love. It came to me because I am a good, uplifting, positive kind hearted person. I care about the feelings of others and respect people's differences. Whether I weighed 185 or 265. There is some young beautiful plus size teenager who read those words and you could have very well crippled her self-esteem. I think what really rubbed you the wrong way was seeing two fat people kissing and in love. While you watched the episode while picking at a salad with no dressing, doing tricep dips on a chair and squats during commercials......ALONE. I understand health is important, but open your eyes. Everyone is supposed to be different. No one has to meet your requirements. And if I must say so myself I may be fat, but I look a hell of a lot better than you. According to all the comments left for you on your blog I'm sure the hurtful things said to you stung, but not as much as what you wrote. Maybe before you turn forty you'll get it right until then....I'll just pray for you. 

Marie Claire

If you are looking for new and exciting ways to ruin your readership keep Maura Kelly around, but if you want to tap into the wide market of overweight women and our hard earned dollars you need a new approach. Shame on you for giving such a bigoted woman an outlet to spew her BS. 

*steps down off her soapbox* So readers tell me what you think of her. Do you agree with her? I do understand everyone has an opinion I am just really turned off by her use of words. 

Weather, NOTW, and other randomness

So as we all know I broke up with my nail salon. Our tumultuous relationship ended when he could no longer produce the quality I so strongly desired....soooooo...I checked out another place. For the most part they did a fairly decent job. But the fact that I was the only chick in the salon minus the people that work there was a little strange to me. "Why yall jiggas ain't got no customers?" I was thinking in my hood girl mind voice. So far I give them a C. Can't quite explain why. They just didn't wow me. And it's a recession honey. For me to open my wallet and give you these hard earned waitress duckets the wow factor better be there. (And yes I did just use the term duckets, lol) So my NOTW (Nail Of The Week) is a color thats been hiding in my cabinet for about a year now. Worn maybe twice *shrugs* but it is the hotness........

China Glaze Tempest

a blue-silverish purple

It's a cute color, but then again not my signature color. I'm still in search and I'm not giving up. I actually wish I could find OPI's "You don't know Jacques" (The Suede Version), but *sigh* alas I think that was just a beautiful game played on me. I think that was Limited Edition. *sad face*

Tomorrow I go sign the paperwork on my new place. So excited I wanna scream. I actually contemplated buying a new outfit to go there in. Don't laugh I didn't. I simply said contemplated. 

If I haven't spoke a lot on it I live in Wisconsin. A nice place to live, but I have one huge complaint. Our weather. It's like sex. There's the nice, sweet, playful kind. The rough kind. And then the straight up rape. At 5:55am I left the house this morning to sixty degree weather and light rain. I didn't complain hell, it felt great. And I absolutely love rain, especially when the droplets were soothing the pain of my braids slightly pulling at my poor scalp. By 6:40 am wind was whipping at my face and I had been caught in a pretty damn hard rainstorm. By the time I left work at 2:00 pm. I t was a very windy, and a cold fifty degrees and a tornado had touched down just a mile from my job. Weather rape. The worst kind. Yet you will be a regular victim if you live in the Dairy state. Fall is tipping it's hat in these parts. And is making room for the dreaded winter. I just hope our move is done before the snow hits *fingers crossed*

I have 1000 blog topics floating in my head. Just have to get my thoughts together be patient with me. *muah*

Memories brought to you by Pandora.....

So as I headed to work this morning..Pandora played this little Gem for me Eagle eye cherry- "Save Tonight"......oh the late 90's.....how I miss you so.

b-b-braided up

Kinda like tatted up...only I can remove this ishhh whenever I's gets ready!

well I like them...correction love them, but ummm they kinda hurt a bit AND it took too long for an on the go chick like me AND I am NOT looking forward to taking these mamacitas out in January (That is if I keep them in that long).

I'm moisturizing my hair with my hodge podge concoction of ingredients all pushed into one spray bottle: Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Lotion, EVCO, Lavender JBCO, Grapeseed Oil, Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship Leave-in Conditioner, Peppermint Oil and Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Leave-in Conditioner It smells like heaven....hopefully all that moisture is making my hair underneath feel like butter. This will be the look until the new year...maybe. After that???? Another Sew-in perhaps??? The Halley's Curls Candy Curls has been calling my name, but we'll see until then..

LOve, Peace, and Hair Grease..lol

Family Matters.

I am not family-oriented. It's sad, but it's an honest statement. I don't have an unwavering bond with my family. Not like some. I mean we aren't strangers either, but I see the family bond quite differently from most. "Family is simply friends God picked for you", is what I would normally say. And honestly I truly believe it. The closest bond I have is with my mother. A relationship that with time has become strained and stretched to it's maximum. We are both stubborn, and headstrong and though we both love each other we can not and will not ever see eye to eye. It is what it is. I don't even know if I want to change it. I'm happy living this life semi-secluded. The older I get the bigger the wedge is in our relationship. My mother has changed. Drastically and not for the better. Don't get it twisted. She doesn't have a chemical dependency or anything. I just really, really dislike the person she has become. And rather than boost her show's ratings by sticking around and watching. I rather turn the TV off and let that shit get canceled. Soooo..... does that make ME a bad person?

.....love-whipping???? LOL

Between this.....

and this........

Little black girls and their hair are having the best week ever!!

I love it !!!

What's going on.....

So I've been blabbing so much about whatever has been on my mind lately that I haven't just updated about the "joy" that is my life.

*So the sew-in has been released from my head. LOL. I enjoyed it, but next time we'll upgrade the hair. I'm sure you're slightly confused by the pic to your right. No I did not chop my hair off and resort to a Teeny weeny afro. My hair is merely hiding in a ponytail and getting a bit of moisture and rest before it goes into micros next week. Pretty excited about the braids. I am however NOT excited about sitting on my ass for eight hours or more to get them done. But as I've posted before we all know Valecia is not a real fan of her own hair. I get excited to tuck it away, but I also get excited to see it's progress. *shrug*

* Ask the booskie I own a LOT of MAC Cosmetics. I mean an awful damn lot. But currently I'm in love with the Maybelline Natural Smokes Smokey Quad. (Used in the pic on the right) Who figured? I'm sure I could have saved a pretty penny had my makeup addiction started in the drug store first. Lately that's all I wear anyway.

*My current addiction is China Glaze Frostbite. Seeing that my life damn near revolves around working at the pancake house I thought it was cute that my nails matched my uniform. It was cute in the summer. Now I'm looking for a darker fall color. And I'm kinda mad at myself for not rocking for Audrey this spring/summer when I had the chance. Hmm.... any rustic fall color suggestions ladies? Also nail related....I'm breaking up with my nail salon. You may remember this haven of nail drama from my post  Confessions of a bitter bitch: The Nail Salon Edition on my last visit they did a extra scandalous half-assed job!! Mr. Old ass man did my nails this time. *sigh* he had the audacity to do my design while gabbing on the phone in some language unbeknown to me. That's service??? Not to mention I wasn't happy with the design. I can't stay where I'm not happy. So the break up was inevitable. Hmm like all relationships I'm sure he'll miss me when I'm gone.

* Fall is gorgeous isn't it?? Beautiful colors, cool, crisp, but not yet blistering cold. Pumpkins, apples, squash, brussel sprouts (laugh if you want to, but  get the best sprouts this time of year), cute fall sweaters, and boots. This is also the time of year where I spend a bit more time in my beloved Starbuck's...lol Everything looks pretty in the fall. Even the hood. LOL. As seen in the above pic. 

* Speaking of the hood..... Adios BITCHES!!!! The place Booskie and I wanted the most we were accepted for!!! I was so excited I cried. Literally. Big fat crocodile grown woman cry baby ass tears. I'm sooo ready to leave this crappy apartment. The new place is near my job, so much nicer, closer to my mom (without being too close), and.......close to the mall LOL. Due to the 30 day evacuation rules, guidelines and blah, blah, blah we can't move until December 1st. It's a bit of a wait till move day, but I see the mountain top. :) It's pretty fuckin' pricey. I mean I gotta sell a lot of fuckin pancakes for this bad boy, but it's worth it. Now the question is......whose hiring for holiday employees??? LOL

Throwback Thursday

In high school I was the token fat girl. Cute, funny and somewhat.....mean. But I had a fashion sense like none other. I rocked the grunge look. The B-girl look. The Diva look. I looked damn good everyday. The flyest fat girl J.I.Case High had seen. But ya know what?? I didn't have a lick of self-confidence. I had some girls in my clique that were lighter than me and quite questionable in attractiveness. Guys loved them. Fat, skinny, homely, smart, dumb as rocks, etc. I assumed it was because I was a dark girl. A black ass girl to be exact. It put a dent in my already low self-esteem. And then....foxy brown came out.

She was pretty, chocolate, sexy and just two years older than me. And every word that dripped off the "Ill Na Na" album were my freshman through sophomore. Something about that album made me walk taller, strut a little more and feel a little better about my dark chocolate self. The one that put the biggest sway in my step was.....




"Love thyself put no one above thee 'cuz ain't no body gon' love me like me"

The Grown folks Chronicles: If you don't stop lying....

Disclaimer: "I can't stand a liar and a thief", is one of the many repeated statements I heard from my mother as a child. I guess with time not only did it become obvious to me that she had a really good point, but I too began to live that motto. I can't stand to hear someone lie. Especially about shhh that they have no real reason to lie about. You know what I mean. The kind of lies that as soon as they finish the statement you give them that side eye and twist your lips and say, "Really?" when you wanna say, "Bitch stop lying". If you have a bit of tact you control yourself and simply think it. On a rather gutter hood day you may even speak it. But either way the shhh is very, very unnecessary. It causes you to tense your face up. You usually look something like this sista on the right. Which leads me to one lie I am soooo tired of hearing........

"Ugh that's nasty I don't go down"

I better not hear this come out of the mouths of anyone over the age of twenty-five who considers themselves to be partaking of a healthy and normal sex life. I just can't stand to hear this mess so stop. You mean to tell me that something that has been going on before cars existed and phones rang you don't do? Something was okay for your Big Mama and Paw Paw to get down with, but you're too good for it??? Trust me fellatio and cunnilingus (look it up boo!) is ancient. Don't believe me??? 

Men learn a little something.....

See??? 

Ladies get off that damn high horse....

Not to mention with a world as hyper sexual as ours who feels the need to hide such things? If you rather not divuldge of your sexual antics and prowess that's one thing, but to front like you're too good to take one for the team and drop to your knees???....*rolls eyes* child please. The fact is what you do is just that. What you do. But some of you just aren't going about it right. 

Case #1

 A former co-worker (we will call him Dante) worked with me at the local Supercenter back in the day. He was tall, southern, dark chocolate, somewhat attractive (in a Young Buck kinda way), early to mid thirties, and cornrows (the cornrows for me is an immediate no-go) he made it very clear (as sex was the normal conversation at work amongst blue collar employees) that he didn't go down on women. It wasn't that he was picky about the women he tongued down. He just flat out refused to go there. He also lived in his married cousin's basement. Well like all new meat he got passed around "ho-mart" and the female consensus was all the same......"ehh.... you can have him" From what I gathered his D-game was mediocre to okay. And his request for females to drop to their knees was not taken kindly. "But if he would have licked it...I might have called him back", was the response I got from my female co-workers who dared to test drive him. And because he didn't he stayed his grown ass in another grown ass man's basement. I wonder did the sounds of his cousin getting it in with his wife regularly ruin his sleep. LMAO.

Case #2

I must be honest. At 21 I was a college junior, full-time employed, had a cute little Cavalier (smh yeah I know), and my own apartment. By all means I thought I was the ishhh. Somehow I became entangled in a relationship with man thirteen years my senior. He had a body like an Adonis, but enough kids for his own basketball team with two subs on the bench. He lived with his mama and watched 106th and Park like he was  on the JV football squad. For all logical reasons he was a loser and we weren't even close to being on the same level. But he gave me the tongue lashing of a lifetime and he couldn't get rid of my ass for years. And dammit I was more than willing to reciprocate. The sex to me was spectacular (then), but of course I was twenty-one and didn't know any better. Now I look back on it as mediocre sex. But spectacular head. Apparently it was so good it all just kinda mushed into one good event. 

See what I mean?? See how much head can make a difference?? 

 Enough about those that straight up do or don't and are honest about it. 

If you don't your sexual life will never be as fulfilling as it could be. Fight me on it if you want, but the truth is the damn truth. If you do then.....keep doing it. Just please be selective. 

 Now to those that do and lie. Ummm why? No one believes you. I mean no one. Not even your minister, a judge, hell yo mama and Jesus don't believe you. So just admit it. It's not about telling your business. It's about being honest. It's not necessary to say, "I suck better than Lethal Lipps". You could just keep your fucking mouth closed. No grown ass man/woman has to deny what they do behind closed doors. And as my gram used to tell me..

"If you gotta lie about it you ain't got no business doing it"

Get Big Remix

 I must admit I was NOT effin' with Dorrough until I heard Get Big....but the Remix??? Yeah Baby!!!

Day 30

Your favorite song

I have many many many favorite songs, but when I tried to think it through this came to mind first.....

Fragile by Miss Chrisette Michele feat. Wale

I think it safely describes my take on love, dating, and relationships.

Day 29

In this past month, what have you learned

• communication is the key. When I stopped yelling and getting belligerent things started going my way a bit more. 
• I have one of the greatest traits in life. I bounce back easy. I don't let anything get me down. For long.
• I have a tendency to want to argue a person down when they are wrong. This month I did something that's normally not me and it worked. I ignored the @#$% the ishhh out this chick and that got my point across much quicker. LOL. That broad wanted to pull a serious Justin Timberlake (aka cry me a river) and that's exactly how it should be. 
• That loving Valecia is a full-time job. I can't expect anyone to take it on, but me. Punching in at times is rough, but the check is so fulfilling.

Day 28

A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

October 2009

I have seen a year of heartbreak, tears, falling down, picking myself up and redemption. The woman I was twelve months ago is quite actually the SAME woman I am today. Just with a little bit more of a story to tell. My experiences are like that of any other young woman. I have learned in this year that I have the hardest shell at times, but I am a very emotional being. I will give my all, but when I give up. I give up. 

As far as the slightly trivial. In this past year I have been Suze Orman "god-like" with my finances. Not a day of struggle, need or want. Even when I was trudging in the cold and snow last winter in public transportation my bank account was bigger than it had been in like....EVER!

I will say the girl in the above picture is a bit healthier than the one pictured below. November of last year is when my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) I must admit since then I haven't done much to make my life in connection to this "issue" easier. I didn't ask about possible hormonal medications or start a weight loss regimen to subside some of my symptoms. I just continued to live my life. Ignoring it. Needless to say that hasn't made the situation better. I have actually gotten heavier. I'm working on those issues. I's all about self-control and drive. 

Other than that. The girl above and below are truly blessed. Every good or bad thing that has taken place in my life these past twelve months has only made me that much more stronger, better, smarter, and beautiful for the next 12 months. So to respond in my normally twisted way. How have I changed in the past year???
By leaps and bounds. But yet very very little. 

October 2010

Cee-Lo.

LMAO Cee-Lo Green is da ishhhh and this video is too! Only this man could sing a eff you song that is this pleasant. 


"Although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best, but Fuck you"

Day 27

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge


 I love to blog. Honestly I do. But sometimes I run out of ideas or I get in front of the computer and forget the kick arse idea that I came up with just hours ago at work. Then my blogging goes from daily, to weekly, to monthly and that is not good. I did the 30 day challenge to keep myself on a schedule (though I didn't stick to it the way I would have liked) . It has allowed me to be more consistent with my blogging. And be consistent with a purpose. And I have taken time to get all my thoughts and blog ideas ready for after these thirty days are over. It has really helped. I suggest all bloggers do it. 

Day 26

What you think about your friends


 I love my friends I wish we were closer, but then again the space between us makes it that more enjoyable when we do spend time together or talk together. We have all grown into different women with very different points of view. But that's what makes us so interesting. 

In search.......

I have been on the hunt for the perfect apartment for weeks.  Grrrrr.....it has NOT been easy whatsoever. With my sad little car going to car heaven after only owning it for four effin' months I am now clean across town from my beloved job and family at the pancake house. The beau wants a crazy amount of space. I want quiet and a peaceful neighborhood. Or at least where police are close-by and willing to come in seconds...not hours. And.....in our price range. Being a waitress is.....so topsy turvy. I can make an arse-load today and just enough for a fill and design tomorrow. So it's easier for me to say I make ehhh about $500.00 a week. But it scares the beelzebub out of me to pay $600.00 for rent or more. I know you're thinking Huh??? But what about after the holidays when everyone is broke and no one wants to eat in restaurants...will I be able to pay then? I have never bitten off more than I can chew. But it's far time to NOT have a crappy, subpar, or even okay apartment. It's time splendid grandiosity I'm just scared to get over my head it in all. So the search continues and .......we're down to the wire.

Day 25

What I would find in your bag (this line make no sense to me)
I assume they meant what you would find in my bag


1. Orbit gum
2. Maybelliene Falsies Mascara in Blackest Black
3. Rimmel Special Eyes Eyeliner Pencil in Black Magic
4. My work keys and swipe card
5. My Black berry
6. My pink ear buds
7. wallet
8. Blistex Complete Moisture (heavenly)

Day 24 (sorry for the delay work has been kicking my arse)

A letter to your parents


Dear Mom and Dad, 


      So twenty-nine years after giving birth to your little dark chocolate drop I hope you're as proud as you were that day. I'm fully aware that I was a handful or even two handfuls, but I'm so glad that things worked out exactly the way they did. 


Dad


I am so glad that I had the time I did with you. Those six years were the best of my life.  Our family was far from conventional, but a family is what we were nonetheless. I remember when you would dress up like Santa Clause and embarrass the daylights out of me, by giving dollars to all the neighborhood kids. I would cringe. But the kids loved you. So many of them were missing a father in their life. I was lucky and didn't even know it. Now I see what greatness I had. Even in the short six years we were together before God took you away, you showed me how I should be treated, and what kind of man to look for. You will always be the number one man in my life. I love you with all my heart.




Mom


We are so much alike, but so different. We annoy each other to no end, but no one on this earth has my back like you. You give unrequested advice. You push your opinions on me. And you're almost always digging off in my business. It boils my blood and I thank you for it everyday. After dad died things got rough. Really rough. But we made it together through it. And we can make it through anything. I remember the year after dad died you left for work one morning headed to work. It was five and you headed out into the dark cold winter to walk across town to work. As soon as you locked the door behind me I came to a scary epiphany. You were all I had left. I put on my winter gloves, scarf, hat, grabbed the meat cleaver and my coat. I followed behind you for five blocks. Keeping a blocks distance. It was solely my job now to protect my mother. And I was going to do it. Suddenly you turned around. In the midst of the snow, dark, and distance you knew it was me. "Valecia I'll be fine now go home and don't be late for the bus", you yelled. Maybe it was just your motherly intuition or just how well we we're in sync with each other. So I turned and ran back home. Small events like that have taken place my entire life. We will always be each others' number one cheerleaders'. Remember when we used to lcok each other out of the house for fun? Or the hiding game? LOL. Thanks for being my best friend. I am forever indebted. You are truly the greatest. 

Day 23

Something you crave for a lot




This one was pretty hard so I had to ask my booskie to name something I craved. Initially I wasn't going to use his answer because I thought of all the negative connotations that come along with it, but then I realized. It's the truth. And a part of who I am. Soooo......


I crave attention. 


Not look at me my clothes are too tight, my cleavage is too much type attention. I was my father's only daughter (that we know of lol) and I was always his princess. I was my mom's only child so....of course I was her princess. I treat myself like.....you guessed it..a princess. So Ms. Princess Valecia expects that same treatment from the man I love. I'm not a whiner. I'm not all high and mighty with my behaviorisms. But I will pout a bit if I don't get the proper amount of hugs, kisses, and cuddle time that I feel I need daily. I don't consider it to be a bad thing. And I won't stop it. It's far better than me craving cheeseburgers or crack. And far less expensive or self-destructive. Yes *stands up* my name is Valecia and I crave attention. Admitting it is the first step. But then again I never want to change. Everyone wants to know they are loved. I'm no different. I just want my assurance...daily. 

Throwback Thursday

I am a music freak. Most importantly and R & B freak. I can attach a song to almost every important part of my life. Exes. College. Jobs. Friends. It all is connected to a song. So I thought what better way to go down memory lane than start a new feature simply entitled, "Throwback Thursday". Now this isn't the 106th and Park tacky ass Throwback Thursday. This just a time to reflect on some of the best music and times of my life with my followers. Well the first TT goes to one of my faves RL (from the 90's R & B group NEXT). I recently just started following his very sexy arse on twitter and it reminded me how great his music was. That lead me to pick this video. 


June 1, 2002 I moved into my very first apartment. I lived in a third floor studio in old historic set of gorgeous apartments. I felt so....confident. Between my car, new apartment, pending junior year of college, and full-time job I felt unstoppable against the world. I still had a lot to learn, but at THAT moment I was on top of the world.  Almost every night that summer I would step out on my fire escape merlot in hand and listen to Midnight Love on BET (if you're old enough you know, if not don't bother). One warm summer night there was a thunderstorm, but I sat out there anyway....I turned around to see this beautiful video and song. 


By the time the video was over my face was mixed with raindrops and teardrops and since I have been in love with him and this song.....Throwback Thursday. RL. Good Man. *sigh* Real Music.

Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else


Hmmmm what an interesting post topic. This seems so easy. Yet the most difficult one yet. What makes me different??? The answer is hard to communicate. The same things that make me different are also the same things that make me the same. 


I'm a woman that has aimed for the stars and in my humble opinion landed right on the grass. At the age of nineteen I was a journalism major with dreams of being "bigger than Oprah". Fast forward ten years later and I'm a waitress that is literally bigger than oprah. And as earth shattering as that may have been to my ego it hasn't stopped me. I don't do what I want to do. I do what needs to be done. 


I'm nice. I'm a bitch. I'm very serious. I'm a goofball. I'm a hardworker. I'm lazy. I'm a lover. And a fighter. I live a working woman's life, but I have an aristocrats mind. The first person you ask for honest and good advice, but the last person to take my own. I am a plethora of things all at once. An anomaly if you will. 


What makes me different from everyone else?? The fact that I'm the same as each and every person I meet. No matter how different you all may be. 

Day 21

A picture of something/someone that makes you happy

My little cousin Kosheda .I am so proud of her. She is currently studying elementary education in Alabama and she is is the sunshine of my life. Honestly I am blessed to have a little cousin like her and hate the idea of being so far away from my favorite person on earth. I love the fact that somewhere down the line in her past twenty years some of my funny cynical, sarcastic ways have grown on her. However she is still a sweetheart. Kind and goodhearted as the day she was born. Now if some of that could rub off on me. 

The Countdown to 30.......

So I have discussed it many times before. Just last month I celebrated my 29th birthday. The great years of careless twenties are almost behind me. As my thirties loom around the corner in just a mere:

• 332 days
• 10 months, 29 days
• 47 weeks (rounded down)
• 7968 hours
• 478,080 minutes
• 28,684,800 seconds

Yes I went into THAT much detail to discuss my fear of the looming three oh. I've come to the conclusion lately that with such an exciting and scary milestone coming I need to re-evaluate my princess-like ways. When thirty comes knocking I don't want to look anything like it. So it's time adjust my health. Time for healthy hair, skin, body, positive vibes, and just an all-around better view of things....So welcome to my new feature "The Countdown". As I strive to use this section to discuss my fears, emotions, and changes and I head toward a new stage of life. Because contrary to what Jay-Z said thirty is NOT the new twenty. Thirty is the same old damn thirty.