Friday, April 29, 2011

Girl Crush

“I don’t like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one.” — British pop star, Adele, in the latest issue of Rolling Stone.
That's a diva statement I can backup. LOL. 
So I must admit it. I am car less and have been for a while now (10 months maybe). Because I'm never in a car I never know what's playing on the radio. (I know I could be listening to internet radio, but I just don't!) So I am just discovering Plus-size, blue-eyed UK singer-songwriter Adele. This woman is phenomenal. Why did no one tell me about her? Her and Duffy have "the most intoxicating voices" to me. It's official the UK is not only where the stupid wedding's also where all the soul can be found. She is just amazing and I can't say it enough times. I guess in good ol' twitter language I'm #TeamUK

Monday, April 25, 2011

Girl Crush- Ms. Jill Scott

Isn't Ms. Jilly from Philly looking gorgeous right about now???? I'm loving the look especially those leggings and hair. She always brings it. I'm excited to hear the album. She's even hotter in the Shame video. I never considered sequins.....but she is rocking it. And the big hair *swoons*.

So what do YOU think???

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Black girls....trapped in a box

SCENARIO:  Early Thursday morning. 8:30 am to be exact. I walked the streets of W. Wisconsin Ave. in Milwaukee. I felt pretty cute. Nice neutral eye. Cute black sweater. Fitted black dress pants. Brown heels and my signature brown bag cradled in the crook of my left arm. Starbuck's Tall Chai Latte secure in my right. I was headed to an interview. An interview that I felt I had in the bag. I was all smiles. I nodded a pleasant hello to various people walking my way. One young man in particular smiled my way and said, " Well good morning beautiful".  I looked up to find a short cropped, messy blond with a beautiful smile and teeth.  Was he cute? Gorgeous to be precise. Like David Beckham in a peacoat with a backpack. I smiled and thanked him. "My pleasure entirely sweetheart", he responded. We walked away slowly smiling. Well.....I'll be honest. I was Cheesing, but I did feel some kinda way. I combination of happy and weird. Weird because ummm he was white. And I don't mean that in the ewww he was white way, but the well that was different way. I had to stop and ask myself why is this weird to me? I see it everyday. My answer was: yes, just not really with black women.

R & B Artist Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton
I have been guilty of being that woman. The one with the snide comments when I saw a black man with a white woman. (or woman of any race other than black). Somewhere down the line I stopped caring. I started seeing the situation for what it was. There is someone for everyone. Race shouldn't be the factor. However I wondered...what is stopping sistas from "venturing" out and seeing other men as love interests. I have always seen my life as one daydream or pleasant montage after another. I dreamed what my high school days would be like, what college would be like, how great my twenties would be. I have daydreamed everything down to my possible pregnancies. And I always viewed my wedding cake with two little brown faces on top of the cake. Why? I can't say. But that was always apart of the dream. I actually had a lot of crushes on white boys, but I always felt like my husband would use Dax and a wave brush. *Shrugs* Go figure. 
R & B Singer Heather Headley and husband former NY Jets player Brian Musso

As I get older I realize finding the right person has a lot less to do with color and far more to do with your heart. I rarely ever hear a black man say they won't date a white woman. Better yet I hear them give me a list of reasons why they would or why they feel like black women are now the obsolete option. I wont go into detail about that for a few reasons. 

  • That ish is angering
  • It's disrespectful
  •'s neither here nor there, because we are not discussing exclusion we are talking about expanding options. 
  • I'm not into making generalizations here.
Looking around I see a large portion of African-American men in prison, or have no act right, are married, with white women, are homosexual, or are in hiding where I just can't snatch them up. Because of this a lot of sistas seem to feel as if their pickings are slim. In some cases they are correct. So they choose to take sub-standard relationships in order to be with "the black man". I understand their train of thought, but sub-standard relationships never become what you want. They never flourish into the beautiful wedding and dreams you hoped. It just keeps dragging on into the land of sub-standard-dom. It's not my job to hold my brothers up. It's my job to live a happy, fulfilling, God- filled life with someone who loves me and understands me as much as I love and understand him.
South Park Co-Creator Matt Stone and his wife Angela
We seem to be so caught up in the specifics. Who cares if he's a chicken parmigiana guy and I'm a collard greens and cornbread girl. Those are all things that will work themselves out. The right guy will love me when the sink is filled with shedding remy weave anyway. In the year 2011 we are still trying to figure out one another when there isn't really much to learn. Everyone for the most part is the same. We all just have different life stories. 
Grey's Anatomy star Justin Chambers and wife, Keisha

So as of today I vow to keep my options open. I will be open to love from whatever tree it's leaves may fall from. Because the honest to God truth is on my wedding day it doesn't matter if the hand I'm holding is ivory and I'm staring into some piercing blue eyes, or he's a caramel brown brother with a beautiful dark brown pair. All that truly matters is the words, "I do". And the fact that he means them as much as I do. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

TAG!!!!!! I'm it.....LOL

I was tagged recently by the lovely and oh so fly Zakiya of Bigg Badd Wolf: A style Blog with the oh so prestigious Kreativ Blogger award. I believe this to be my first one....(if not *shrugs* sorry memory is slipping) either way I am super excited and thankful. The award rules go as follows:

*State 10 facts about yourself
*Tag 10 bloggers
*Inform them that they've been given the award

No...this is NOT my room, but I wish it was....

Based upon the words I post I come across as a very rough around the edges type broad. That's merely one side to me. I am actually quite girly girly. I like unicorns, glitter, Lisa Frank and all that shit. But above all else my favorite color is pink. I wear it all the time. 

I have odd dreams of becoming a plus size model. Don't ask why. Or even how for that matter. I just know I look damn good in photographs. Not all that hot in person, but in photographs...absolutely stunning!!!!

I am in love with wonder woman. I think she is the best super hero (ine) ever made. Hell I love Linda Carter simply because she played Wonder Woman. Oh shit I just had the hottest thought....a photoshoot as Wonder woman.....yeahhhhh...that would be the hotness!!!

I studied Journalism at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I dropped out as a junior. Life kinda got in the way, but I do love writing. My problem is I write how I's not all that proper. LOL. To be honest I never really had a desire to write. I wanted to have my own talk show. I have an opinion about everything. It's not always right, but it sure is interesting.

Over the years I have grown to be a tad bit anti-social. I don't hate people per'se. It's the idiosyncrasies of people that gnaw at my nerves. 
LOL cocaine waitress...not my profession but I liked the pic

Even while being a non "people lover" I am a waitress by trade. Yes I say by trade. I don't care what anyone says waitressing takes a skill and patience that I never knew I had. It's weird I'm not a fan of the public, but I can tap dance and shuffle if cash is involved. I love what I do. I'm just looking to do it in way better venues. Too bad I'm too fat to be a stripper cause I would sooo do it. Nahhhh I'm playing....or am I???? LOL

I am a foodie. Whole Foods, trader joes, and farmer's markets make my day. I have a  love of produce that is just weird. I can and will try any vegetable once. So far I have only disliked one......the dreaded asparagus. I may try it again and just cook it differently. 

I have super strong legs. The first fitness activity I joined in middle school was....The weight lifting club. I showed up after school all cute in my pink tee, black sweats, and pink and black shoes to find out two things about myself. I was the ONLY girl that was joining. And....I could leg press 120 lbs. at the age of eleven. I do 40 squats and lunges a can only imagine what my butt looks like LOL
well not like this...but dammit it's getting there!
My PC is starting to act an ass. Ol' Bessie has seen some good days but now I think it's time to bid her adieu! Honestly I don't really have new computer money right now so Bessie might have to hold out till I say when. I won't be saying when soo. Hell I have bills people.

Call me a stand up woman with a basic bitch  twist. I don't know if marriage and babies are truly in the cards for me. If I never get married I won't feel as if I have been slighted in life and the great experiences that I've had. But here's the basic bitch twist.....I don't really need a marriage. The ultimate love my name in a visible spot. *swoons* See I told you that was basic.....very. LOL

Here are the bloggers that I am tagging:
Miesha Mosby at Ms. Phyt..Phat..N..Phyne
Sharona at This is Sharona
Jacquelyn at Fabdiva20
Downtown Pepper at More Composition Please
I Bleed Pink at I Bleed Pink

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Thursday, April 7, 2011

And you wonder why we call you bitch: Females and friendship

Scenario 1: I'm in the gym working out and sweating my ass off. It doesn't mean a thing to me that I'm the only black female in the gym. I've been a member for a few months now and I like it. I'm quite comfortable there. I make an effort to smile or nod at everyone coming in even at my hardest resistance in those last few hard minutes. I never asked to be the welcoming committee I just do it, because I'm in a good mood and feeling polite. So along walks in two young black girls. About my age, about my height, and about my build. Lace front wigs blazing, false eyelashes fluttering, and long ass acrylics waving back and forth. Let's not even talk about why you would be in a gym with a wig on. As always I wave. They look at me, look at each other, and Give me a funny ass "who does she think she is?" look as if how dare I have the audacity to smile at them. Well damn. 
This look describes how I felt perfectly!

I am almost thirty years old. Which means I have had a lot of time to deal with people. I learn something new about myself everyday, but I have people (for the most part) figured out. I am a people watcher. I generally size people up for months before I really, REALLY begin to let them in. I watch for lies, reactions, opinions. What they say about others, do they take the blame for their mistakes or is it always someone else's fault, are they hard working or are they petty. Do they show themselves respect, do they respect me, and do they hold up their end of the bargain. Are they one dimensional in their opinions and views or willing to look at a picture in it's entirety. This is not what I look at to determine a friend. It's merely what I look at to see if you're even worth being an associate. This doesn't apply with women. Me attempting to build a new friendship with a woman is a thing of the past. 

Women are the nurturers of the earth. Emotional creatures that are known to be the most loving sex. But women can be some of the meanest, most trifling, cattiest, backstabbing, and jealous individuals on the planet. 
See what I mean????
Scenario 2: In high school I was apart of a clique. Not the mean girls type, but a crew of kids that were all raised in the same neighborhoods, elementary, middle and high schools all our lives. We had all the same extracurricular activities, and attended the same church. I didn't need to go looking for friends. I didn't need them. I had something better. A family. There were only two females in this group of  fifteen to twenty. We bumped heads here and there like any other teenage girls did, but till this day she is still my heart. It was the "other girls". The other girls who wanted to date my "brothers". The girls that had crushes on them and saw me and my homegirl as a threat. Or girls who didn't understand why we chose to hang with the guys. So we became all kinds of names. Hoes. Sluts. Nasty bitches. Not because we actually were. We weren't, but because the words helped these chicks sleep better at night. It couldn't possibly be that he didn't like you because your breath smelled like hot garbage. Or he didn't like you because you had a super unlady like cussing issue. Or better yet he didn't even know you liked him. It was always because those two bitches must be fucking him. Really??? I think not. Had you maybe took a moment to befriend me or perhaps get to know me I would have thrown in a good word for you. Now all my "brothers" are either married or engaged to some great stand-up women. Women who accept and appreciate the friendships we share with them. 

Scenario 3: I remember being a fresh, happy Sunday school teaching twenty-one year old college junior. I was in love with a man thirteen years older than me. He had seven kids and five baby mamas. (LOL I know that was dumb on my part). I thought we were going to be together forever. So I made a point to get to know his children and family quite well. It was odd and more than I should have gotten into at that age, but I always made sure I showed the mothers of his children respect. Besides whether me and him made it together or not those chicks were gonna be around in some way shape or form forever. So I always said hello, smiled, asked how were they doing. All of them on a face to face level thought pretty highly of me....or so I thought. One day one of the chicks felt as if the conversation she was trying to have with my then boyfriend wasn't as important as the fact that he was currently on the phone with me. "You can get off the phone with that bitch and talk to me please?" Really? I'm a bitch. Hmmm. ok. I had a baby mama (different relationship) once tell my boyfriend that she thought she looked better than me. I dated a guy who refused to bring me around his son's mother because she was that crazy. She knew I existed. I could hear her on the phone one time saying, "When you gonna let me meet ya new girl so I can check this hoe". I snatched the phone and gave Ms. Indignant a piece of my mind. That night was our last date. I don't play that shit. Apparently these are the things that make them feel better about me riding there exes into oblivion every night. Especially when I'm nothing, but respectful to these women. 

You can say that I'm exaggerating, but women are vicious creatures. Men don't try to throw a drink on a guy at the bar if he has on the same shirt as him. Men rarely (make that never) fight over women. Men don't give a flying fuck about any of that. Shit like that is such a small part of life and they are more likely to look at the bigger picture. Unless we are discussing bitch made niggas. Then it's a totally different situation.  Women have an innate fear of people in better positions. I believe everyone is like this to a certain extent. Females however are more prone to showing this trait. Anytime they see someone doing good, or having something they want, that person (usually another woman) becomes the "ultimate threat". It is too much like right to say, " That's a nice car go head girl". Or "Look at you you've lost so much weight congrats" or ___________________ (fill in space with anything positive that you rarely hear women say to each other). It's a tad bit easier for hater blood to run through female veins. I don't know why. It just is. 

Oprah and Gayle--lesbian lovers or NOT these two have done something phenomenal.
Maintained a friendship throughout the years. 
The Flipside: I don't think it's impossible for two females to have an honest upstanding good hearted relationship. As long as the two people involved are honest, upstanding, good-hearted women. That is the only way it will work. It's impossible if only one person is. I feel like the friends I have are the ones I have. I don't desire at this age to make any new ones. Respect however is something I give to every woman I meet. I just find it so odd how it kills a woman to give that back in return. I know this isn't the complete way of life, but it's what I've been seeing the most lately. However there are always a few positive people who don't get their just credit. 

Scenario 1: While sweating and panting on the stairmaster an older black woman with a neat little afro stopped and smiled at me. She tapped me to signal she wanted to say something. I hit pause on my ipod long enough for her to say, "Baby I see you in hear all the time". "Keep it up you'll be where you want to be real soon". I smiled and thanked her for the encouragement. Oddly enough she walked up and said that right behind the lace front duo. Maybe there is hope after all. Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

A update

Well.....first I am a sucky blogger. I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like, but I do have a lot of ideas brewing in my head that I'm working on. I promise there will be two entries coming this week. I vow. Anywho..... my workouts have been awesome. I'm starting to see the transformation in my body. Muscles are forming where muscles were not before. There is one issue though. The poundage is not really going anywhere. And I know why. Because I eat a lot. Not just more than I should, but a fucking lot. Workouts tend to make me even hungrier. So.....the scale is going nowhere. And I'm pissed. High point. I do feel better. I wonder if I can over come this shit. It didn't used to be an issue. I was all about portion control and drinking water to keep myself full if necessary. It's just not cutting it now. Somebody told me once maybe you're supposed to be the weight you are. Hmmmm I seriously doubt that. I work out 3-4 days a week. Logging in a 500-700 calorie deficit every time. Somedays I add a little extra by walking to work. I try to make fruits and vegetables the main part of all of my meals and snacks. This fat to curvy situation is not as easy as I though it would be. Maybe just maybe I may have an addiction.

Which leads me to the interest of this:

I can't wait to watch this tomorrow. I think I can really learn something. It's truly amazing how much food is an aspect of our lives. It is strange how portions that were once considered the norm and healthy became kid sizes over the years. I just need to get on track with the food. It is going to take some work, but I am definitely in it to win it.


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