What's wrong with being the fat girl???

Disclaimer: Today I have eaten about 1500 calories....not enough do to me sleeping in earlier. I have however taken in a HUGE amount of fruits and veggies. I knocked out 45 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill. I faithfully log my eating and exercise victories and mishaps with my Myfitnesspal app daily. Why? Because it's time to get healthy. I need to drop poundage because the weight I stand at at my stature is just not good. Not to mention now that I'm in my dirty thirties that whole time waits for no man statement means a hell of a lot more. I maybe doing it to tighten up some areas as well but my goals are pretty low. I've always been a heavy girl. From childhood on up. I can't even fathom myself wearing a pair of jeans under a size fourteen. And I'm cool with that. I say all that to say this. Dropping your BMI, weight, and blood pressure can be very important to your health and livelihood. But when its not really connected to that....what's wrong with being the fat girl?

Maybe you watch MTV (I really don't because I'm just over that shit) and got a chance to catch the show Chelsea Settles.

 It was about a plus size girl who was looking to make it big in the fashion world, deal with an unsupportive boyfriend and lose weight in the process. It revolved around the already beautiful young ladies struggles with her career, relationship and weight. I admit her weight was unhealthy as she did weigh in at 324 pounds and much like myself she has an admitted food addiction.

Honestly I gave this show the side eye. Not because I'm pro-obesity, but much like MTV's Fat Camp show both seemed more about the hip, vibrant, youthful MTV generation image rather than about healthy living. If the weight loss is about being hot well then I'm hot in a spanx, leggings, heels, and form fitting top. I gave this show a whole episode and magically forgot about it. Until I saw these pics earlier this week.

and

All I could say was wholly fucking Hotcakes with butter and Karo syrup!!!! Is that even the same effin dame??? The beautiful Chelsea now looked like a super fashionable Natalie Nunn!!! I mean that in a good and bad way. Her weight loss is phenomenal and I am oh so proud of her, but boy is that drastic. Like Jennifer Hudson, Raven Symone, America Ferrera, and so many others. It kinda made me feel some kinda way. Like it was wrong to be me. And that my friend is a lie. What's wrong with being the plus size girl.

I don't ever want to get rid of my thick shapely hips and thighs. My ass is popular all on it's own. My curves are what I adore. I have my problem areas and issues, but I am content right in the plus size section. I'm ok with double digits stitched in my clothing tags and a butt you can sit a drink on. It's never made me any less dateable (well to the ones I would deem date worthy), or smart or talented. As I drink my 10th 20 ounce bottle of water I must admit I am on a quest for a healthier lifestyle, but the plus size vixen I am is the one I will always be....just weighing in at a lower number. So what really is wrong with being the fat girl? We if my life doesn't depend on it.....absolutely nothing.

Girl Crush- Ms. Jill Scott

Isn't Ms. Jilly from Philly looking gorgeous right about now???? I'm loving the look especially those leggings and hair. She always brings it. I'm excited to hear the album. She's even hotter in the Shame video. I never considered sequins.....but she is rocking it. And the big hair *swoons*.

So what do YOU think???

Girl Crush......

Ms. Amber Riley

 and the pictures explain it all!!!

recap of me......

So hey sexies! How has twenty-eleven been treating you all??  I've been working on a few me projects lately and thought it would be nice to let you all in on a few:

* I'm currently fighting with myself HARDCORE about going natural. My natural hair is however a bit difficult to deal with. I am almost five months post relaxer, but I flip flop with my opinions on it so much that there is a huge chance I will relax within the next three weeks. Either way it has put me in a position to pay better attention to my hair....even if I almost never rock it. 


* Next week starts my new workout regimen. Me and a couple of girls I work with decided to band together and be workout buddies. It helps me be far more accountable than I would have been alone. I don't really have a weight goal in mind. I'm aiming to just be healthier, a little more *cough* flexible, and regain some of my fine-ness that was lost behind some of this excess flab. I'm starting with thirty minutes of cardio and thirty minutes of weight training three days a week.


* I'm working on strengthening my relationship with God. It takes time. Of course not on his part. Solely on mine. I have this part time bad girl thing going on. I need to shake it ASAP. SMH.


* Scared as all get out about turning thirty in August. It just reminds me that the list of things I wanted to have accomplished by now have very few things scratched off. *shrugs* I'm working on it. In due time I guess. 


* My new place. Outside of the master bedroom it is fairly empty. I need to get to antiquing, rummaging, and Ikea shopping ASAP. 


* Some of my relationships are growing by leaps and bounds, others are at a stand still, and some are are malnourished and slowly dying. Time for me to get real with myself and determine what's worth keeping. 


* My blogging has been ummmmm  sporadic at best. Working on locking it down a bit. At least two posts a week. Can't make promises about the content though. This is my playground of expression and my thoughts are all over the place. Yep. Straight scattered. 

Hope you will partake of this interesting journey with me. Until then......take care! *MUAH*

Weather, NOTW, and other randomness

So as we all know I broke up with my nail salon. Our tumultuous relationship ended when he could no longer produce the quality I so strongly desired....soooooo...I checked out another place. For the most part they did a fairly decent job. But the fact that I was the only chick in the salon minus the people that work there was a little strange to me. "Why yall jiggas ain't got no customers?" I was thinking in my hood girl mind voice. So far I give them a C. Can't quite explain why. They just didn't wow me. And it's a recession honey. For me to open my wallet and give you these hard earned waitress duckets the wow factor better be there. (And yes I did just use the term duckets, lol) So my NOTW (Nail Of The Week) is a color thats been hiding in my cabinet for about a year now. Worn maybe twice *shrugs* but it is the hotness........

China Glaze Tempest

a blue-silverish purple

It's a cute color, but then again not my signature color. I'm still in search and I'm not giving up. I actually wish I could find OPI's "You don't know Jacques" (The Suede Version), but *sigh* alas I think that was just a beautiful game played on me. I think that was Limited Edition. *sad face*

Tomorrow I go sign the paperwork on my new place. So excited I wanna scream. I actually contemplated buying a new outfit to go there in. Don't laugh I didn't. I simply said contemplated. 

If I haven't spoke a lot on it I live in Wisconsin. A nice place to live, but I have one huge complaint. Our weather. It's like sex. There's the nice, sweet, playful kind. The rough kind. And then the straight up rape. At 5:55am I left the house this morning to sixty degree weather and light rain. I didn't complain hell, it felt great. And I absolutely love rain, especially when the droplets were soothing the pain of my braids slightly pulling at my poor scalp. By 6:40 am wind was whipping at my face and I had been caught in a pretty damn hard rainstorm. By the time I left work at 2:00 pm. I t was a very windy, and a cold fifty degrees and a tornado had touched down just a mile from my job. Weather rape. The worst kind. Yet you will be a regular victim if you live in the Dairy state. Fall is tipping it's hat in these parts. And is making room for the dreaded winter. I just hope our move is done before the snow hits *fingers crossed*

I have 1000 blog topics floating in my head. Just have to get my thoughts together be patient with me. *muah*

b-b-braided up

Kinda like tatted up...only I can remove this ishhh whenever I's gets ready!

well I like them...correction love them, but ummm they kinda hurt a bit AND it took too long for an on the go chick like me AND I am NOT looking forward to taking these mamacitas out in January (That is if I keep them in that long).

I'm moisturizing my hair with my hodge podge concoction of ingredients all pushed into one spray bottle: Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Lotion, EVCO, Lavender JBCO, Grapeseed Oil, Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship Leave-in Conditioner, Peppermint Oil and Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Leave-in Conditioner It smells like heaven....hopefully all that moisture is making my hair underneath feel like butter. This will be the look until the new year...maybe. After that???? Another Sew-in perhaps??? The Halley's Curls Candy Curls has been calling my name, but we'll see until then..

LOve, Peace, and Hair Grease..lol

What's going on.....

So I've been blabbing so much about whatever has been on my mind lately that I haven't just updated about the "joy" that is my life.

*So the sew-in has been released from my head. LOL. I enjoyed it, but next time we'll upgrade the hair. I'm sure you're slightly confused by the pic to your right. No I did not chop my hair off and resort to a Teeny weeny afro. My hair is merely hiding in a ponytail and getting a bit of moisture and rest before it goes into micros next week. Pretty excited about the braids. I am however NOT excited about sitting on my ass for eight hours or more to get them done. But as I've posted before we all know Valecia is not a real fan of her own hair. I get excited to tuck it away, but I also get excited to see it's progress. *shrug*

* Ask the booskie I own a LOT of MAC Cosmetics. I mean an awful damn lot. But currently I'm in love with the Maybelline Natural Smokes Smokey Quad. (Used in the pic on the right) Who figured? I'm sure I could have saved a pretty penny had my makeup addiction started in the drug store first. Lately that's all I wear anyway.

*My current addiction is China Glaze Frostbite. Seeing that my life damn near revolves around working at the pancake house I thought it was cute that my nails matched my uniform. It was cute in the summer. Now I'm looking for a darker fall color. And I'm kinda mad at myself for not rocking for Audrey this spring/summer when I had the chance. Hmm.... any rustic fall color suggestions ladies? Also nail related....I'm breaking up with my nail salon. You may remember this haven of nail drama from my post  Confessions of a bitter bitch: The Nail Salon Edition on my last visit they did a extra scandalous half-assed job!! Mr. Old ass man did my nails this time. *sigh* he had the audacity to do my design while gabbing on the phone in some language unbeknown to me. That's service??? Not to mention I wasn't happy with the design. I can't stay where I'm not happy. So the break up was inevitable. Hmm like all relationships I'm sure he'll miss me when I'm gone.

* Fall is gorgeous isn't it?? Beautiful colors, cool, crisp, but not yet blistering cold. Pumpkins, apples, squash, brussel sprouts (laugh if you want to, but  get the best sprouts this time of year), cute fall sweaters, and boots. This is also the time of year where I spend a bit more time in my beloved Starbuck's...lol Everything looks pretty in the fall. Even the hood. LOL. As seen in the above pic. 

* Speaking of the hood..... Adios BITCHES!!!! The place Booskie and I wanted the most we were accepted for!!! I was so excited I cried. Literally. Big fat crocodile grown woman cry baby ass tears. I'm sooo ready to leave this crappy apartment. The new place is near my job, so much nicer, closer to my mom (without being too close), and.......close to the mall LOL. Due to the 30 day evacuation rules, guidelines and blah, blah, blah we can't move until December 1st. It's a bit of a wait till move day, but I see the mountain top. :) It's pretty fuckin' pricey. I mean I gotta sell a lot of fuckin pancakes for this bad boy, but it's worth it. Now the question is......whose hiring for holiday employees??? LOL

Beauty Survey

SKINCARE -

How many times do you wash your face daily?
I am for twice, sometimes I even do three I'm a greasy little girl LOL

What skin type do you have? (dry,oily,combo)
Since oil slick wasn't a choice I'll just say oily. :)

What is your current facial wash?
The clinique IV Liquid Facial Soap (booo no-go)! Going back to the Clinique Acne Solutions foaming wash that cleared up hella shine!

Do you exfoliate?
Honestly not often...

What brand do you use?
St. Ives Apricot Scrub

 

What moisturizer do you use?

Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel

Do you have freckles?

Nope.

Do you use eye cream?
Nope, but I am 29 I probably should be

Do you or did you have acne prone skin?
No even back in the days of the care free curl (yes I had one) I had luck with the skin! Well except the shine issue.

Did you ever have to use Pro-activ?
I'm blessed to say no.

MAKE-UP
What foundation do you use?
i rarely use foundation when I do it's Studio fix Powder NW50 or Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Deep Dark

How about concealer?
No

Do you know your undertone color?
Mmm...I'm darker skinned, so a little red...maybe more yellow actually

What do you think of fake eyelashes?
Cute I just can't apply them

Did you know that you are supposed to change your mascara every 3 months?
Yes. And I kinda do LOL By the third month I've moved on to a new brand or ran out anyway LOL

What brand of mascara do you use?
Maybelliene Falsies= <3 True Love!!!

Sephora or MAC?
Sephora they have tons of stuff you don't have to stick to a brand!

Do you have a MAC Pro-card?
Nope

What makeup tools do you use in make up application?
Brushes, q-tips, and the occasional finger

Do you use make-up base/primer for the eyes?
I have a few colors that I will use a base for, but not always..as far as primers UD Primer Potion no ifs, ands, or buts!

For the face?
Don't laugh Monistat Anti-Chafing Gel works wonders as a foundation Primer I swear

What is your favorite eyeshadow (color or shade)?
neutrals and purples

Do you use pencil or liquid eyeliner? 

Liquid eyeliner on top, pencil on bottom. 

How often do you poke your eyes with an eyeliner pencil?
I haven't in a really long time.

What do you think of pigment eyeshadows? 

I like them they last for like.....EVER!!!!

Do you use mineral makeup?
Nope, not really. I have a few mineral eyeshadows and I seldom turn to them.

What is your favorite lipstick?
MAC Icon

How about lipgloss? Hands down MAC Dazzleglass in Blue Comet (LE)

What is your favorite blush to use? 

MAC X-rocks (LE)

Do you buy your makeup on ebay?
Never, not yet at least.

Do you like drugstore makeup?
I do!

Do you go to CCO's? (cosmetic company outlets) Yes LOVE Them!

Did you ever consider taking make-up classes? 

Yepp, but don't know if I will

Are you clumsy in putting on makeup?
No, but I do have a tendency to make messes with many things I do. I'm working on preventing that.

Name a makeup crime that you hate? black lined lips...ewwwww stop that shhh immegiately (yes I said immegiately)

Do you like colorful shades of makeup (lipstick,eyeshadow) or neutral ones? I'm a combo girl I like neutral shadows w/bright liner or a nude lip with a glittery gloss

Which celebrity always has great make up?
 Kim Kardashian, Toya Carter (from Tiny and Toya) LOL

If you could leave the house using just ONE make up item, what would you use?

Eyeliner -> completely changes how you look while barely doing anything.

Could you ever leave the house without any makeup on?
Yeah. Natural beauty is wonderful as well.

Do you think you look good even without any makeup on?
Yeah. Makeup is to enhance and occasionally correct, not to change.

In your opinion, what is the BEST makeup line?
I haven't quite decided yet.

What do you think of Makeup??
It's amazing and so much fun. I adore it!

My curvy girls stand up

Just a reminder that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes

Tara Lynn    

and.... 

Ashley Graham

She Micheal Jackson bad.

*stands up and claps*

Give it up to the plus size model, Anansa Sims. Beautiful. Sexy. Gorgeous. Larger than most. But just as beautiful (if not more) Than the smaller. Just gotta rep my plus size beauties. Dope fat girls....please stand up!

You better work!!

Oh wow....Ms. Jackson you did that!
So what do you guys think? I think it looks pretty damn hot on her.

But....
I am on this short hair phase AND..

then again when you're Janet you can do whatever the hell you want to!

Dipped in........

Well unless you're an uber moron you already know that I'm a dark chocolate girl. Not chocolate, but Dark chocolate. and proud. So it was only a matter of time before I posted the dark skinned girl anthem. I really like the song I just don't necessarily like the combo. I mean Lil' Jon, R. Kelly, and Mario?? WTF Where have you three been anyway? It's like a D-list montage *kanye shrugs*, but nonetheless it's for me and my chocolate sistas.....STAND UP!

even with out clothes...never take it off.....

So....I'm a fat girl. Yep. Been one for the largest part of my life. It has given me a great deal of insight. A little bit of struggle, but most importantly it allowed me to put on my armor and fierceness EVERYDAY. Some call it confidence. I refer to it as.......BADASSBITCHNESS. Yep. How unlady like of me to create such a term! But it's the one I use. Most importantly it fits. Allow me to explain.

One cold winter night in early 2008 a bored young lady sat at home in her fave Hanes her way tank and grubby sweat pants. Out of sheer boredom I (yes it was me) got off the couch and did my makeup, threw on one of my many wigs that lay in my hall closet, and began to take cell pics for lack of a better social life. After a few pics I was left with this.....

My first thought upon looking at my phone was, "Damn that's a bad bitch". It took awhile, but eventually I came to the conclusion that that "bad bitch" was me. Once that slowly sunk in I began to treat myself as such. I stopped feeling as if a girl in a size six jean was better than me or that I was any less great of a catch because I shopped in a different section than some of the girls from work I went on shopping excursions with. I finally became a confident woman. I think the new found confidence allowed me to be more outspoken, more comfortable in any situation, sexier, more....Valecia. I think that confidence helped start my relationship with E.B. Honestly I felt unstoppable.

It didn't stay that way though. Not at all.

I don't blame my boyfriend for my personal feelings about myself, but sometimes women tend to connect their self-worth to their relationships. When things were good, I felt beautiful. When things were bad, I felt bad, ugly, and horrendously unworthy. The badassbitchness that had reeled him in was gone.

But I didn't know it yet.

In April of last year I decided to schedule a photo shoot. Not because I wanted to, but because my boyfriend thought it was a good idea. In between the 3 months before the shoot I worked out like crazy and focused hard on trying to make my photos the most positive experience possible. A few of my "urban plus size model" friends informed me that I was in good hands photographer wise. So all that was left to do was point and shoot. When I stepped out in the sun of the Chicago Lakeshore Drive location I froze up immediately. I could feel the sweat seeping through my dress. People were watching and probably wondering "Who the fuck is this fat girl?" I'm sure they wanted to know what made me so special. I'm sure they were judging everything about me. I realized then while worrying about my nails and clothes and hair I forgot to put on the most important piece. My BADASSBITCHNESS. I felt weak and extremely vulnerable. Others liked the pictures. Me?? Not so much simply because it made me think about the experience being slightly..crappy.

Confidence is not an easy thing. I struggle with it daily, but I get better with each morning I wake. Few have it in it's truest, purest, most unwavering form. Those people are generally considered egotistical and self-centered. One comes to mind immediately....


Honestly I envy these types. Just a little bit. BADASSBITCHNESS should never be taken off. Good days. Bad days. Dressed to the nines. In your sweats. Or butt ass naked. You should still have it on. Yes ladies. Your BADASSBITCHNESS and a smile and you can make it through anything. So with all that said,

"What are you wearing?"

ride em' pony....

BTW me and my longtime stylist have been on the quest to find me the ultimate hairstyle of fierceness. I'm pushing hard for a haircut, but she's pretty against it. While we tossed around ideas at the shop she gave me an in the meantime between time hairstyle while we brew over this new me. This is what I've been rocking the past eh... thirteen days.

Yep the old ponytail and pompadour combo. My upkeep of styles is not top-notch (and she knows this). I'm also a hit snooze 3 times before I get up, shower, jump into clothes wet, barely make it to the bus, do my makeup at work in the loo kinda gal. So I don't do complicated hair do's. So although this look is fairly....old it worked.
So today is my hair appointment and I'm ridiculously giddy about this test look. I know what it is, but I swore my over-talkative self to secrecy until I walked out of the salon. Hopefully their will be decent pics.
I have lost *gasp* my digital camera and I'm relying solely on my *gasp* camera on my phone. I've been trying to be better with my cash so I won't allow myself to buy a new one. *sigh* Guess I'll just buy a new memory card for my old one ugh Till then...ta ta beautifuls!

The 41st Annual NAACP Image Awards: The Curvy Edition

I'd be lying if I said I watched the image awards. As I get older awards shows are blah to me. They don't hold my attention for long. I watched long enough to notice the oh so debonair Hill Harper as host and a few choice fashions. Here are the curvy girls that really caught my eye:

From Precious, Ms. Gabby Sibide was the woman of the hour. I thought her makeup was beautiful and subtle, her hair was pretty and Old school reminiscent. I love the dress color...style however ehhh, but all in all she looked lovely

I <3  this dress! Just everything about it! The color, the style, the fit....ahhhh! Ms. Amber Riley brought the heat in this ensemble, but then again I adore everything she wears. Her hair and makeup just topped off an already (IMHO) hot look!

Next is the suddenly thinner looking and very fabulous Ms. Raven-Symone. I thought this pink,brown and gold number was just enough...ummm sexy-demure if you will. I thought it accented her curves remarkably and was just all around beautiful head to toe. A+ for that hot shoe and sexy pink lip, but all praises go to that hot new cut. I've already spoken on my Raven-symone hair envy. That hair is to die for on her!
Ms. Monique looked exquisite as always, but the dress was very ummmmm wedding dress/prom-ish idk not being a hater it just wasn't my cup of tea. I loved her hair and makeup, but I couldn't help to wonder....did she shave her legs this time?? LOL
And the woman that made me drop my jaw was the fabulous Ms. Jill Scott....

I don't even know what to say about this.......except...downright beautiful I love the color, the fabric, the hair....and wth knew she had legs like those? HOT MAMA! *shrug*
Anyway enough of my blase opinions what did you think about the looks? Or the show as a whole? (if you got a chance to watch)

a change gon' come

My life has gotten stale. Yes stale. Like chips in a bag left opened. Or bread you leave on the counter too long. Not so much my life, but my look. I've grown increasingly lax with my high quality God given hotness. It's cooled down considerably. And I have to do something about it. IMMEDIATELY
I used to be very much a "I need to go to MAC a minimum of once a month or my life might end" kinda gal. That just kinda died with the recession. I also used to be a "I have 1500 wigs and you don't know which woman you might wake up to" kinda gal. Not anymore.....I actually bore the hell outta myself now. So I'm contemplating a new Valecia. Hell I'm almost 30 and I need my hotness to carry over in a way that dynamic, and everchanging....like Rhianna but no mohawks and wearable. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was being in a relationship and waking up to someone seeing me in my scarf and makeup free that made me think slouchiness was acceptable...well back on game plan...new looks will be coming soon.

All my Plus size girls STAND UP!!!!

I am so excited about the upcoming V Magazine issue that hits tomorrow.Don't know about it???? Well here you go!

These ladies are HOT! Can't wait to see more! So just in case you were wondering beauty doesn't stop at a size 6. Thankyouverymuch!