Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Confessions of a Bitter Bitch: The Nail Salon edition

So like all good hood rich girls I have a fascination with acrylic nails. Not just tastefully done mild mannered white tip acrylics, but air brushed super designed acrylics.  Not super long can't wipe your own ass nails, but just enough to fill my void of fabulosity in my hum drum waitress lifestyle. I generally like to go enjoy my nail time after a long day of work, it's my relaxation time. This past Saturday??? Not so much....let me try to explain why.

1. First things first. I have been frequenting this shop since I was fourteen. I know every employee. The booth they ushered me to was that of a new worker, but hey....I'm not picky. Everyone deserves a chance. While removing my nails for a new full set lil' miss new bitch ripped off my pinkie nail and made me bleed. Yes, bleed! And continued to remove nails as if she didn't see the tiny red droplets on her work station. The hoe didn't even say sorry. So I gave her the death eye. Eventually she got her ass up and ushered me to another technician. She didn't have too many choices. It was either that or......get that ass beat. 

2. This big, burly bitch (pictured below) brought in a damn day care with her!! A plethora of loud ass kids that were crying or constantly running their bad asses through the shop or both. That shit got on my LAST damn nerves. If your group of Bebe's kids can't act right in public keep they asses at home.  I don't wanna hear that shit. You're bothering my relaxation time. This is why my uterus remains empty. SMH. 

3. Then Ms. BBB (Big Burly Bitch) complained about her nail design to EVERY fuckin' technician in the shop!! Including mine. They all circled around Ms. BBB so she could whine and fuckin' moan.... *rolls eyes* Are you serious?? That was fifteen minutes that could have been used finishing mine up *rolls eyes again* It wasn't so much that she was dissatisfied, but she was loud and tactless about it. I mean...DAYUM! Just shut up! The world doesn't have to know that the gold streak on your nail should "go all the way through". smh. 

4. After I got a new technician I was asked how long I would like my new full set. In the midst of answering the question Ms. "experienced nail tech" took it upon her fuckin' self to cut a nail before hearing the length. The result??? Nails that were too damn short. Grrrr. Why ask then??? I'm not gonna lie..that kinda made me want to slap her. Yep. Open handed. 

5. I ran into an old classmate in the shop. She was dressed in a yellow halter top, black booty shorts, and black gladiator heels. Upon making a few low-key phone calls and texts I found out she's now a stripper/prostitute. Hmm...ok that makes sense. Especially when you pair it with the fuzzy, curly, highlighted synthetic lace front.

Maybe I should find a new location...I mean I don't really have a choice and all with my pending move. But I have a strange feeling that the wonderful people of Chicago will irritate me just as much...if not more. I guess that's what you should expect when you're.....bitter. 


  1. This post had me cracking up and shaking my head at the same time. I can't stand going to the nail or even hair salon and having to hear all that babble and nonsense. Why can't you control the kids, and why do you need EVERYONE to hear your every breath and complaint? I go to the nail salon to relax, I don't want to be harassed by someone's bad ass kid running amuck. Ugh!

    I'm so glad I'm not the only person that takes pics of folks when I'm out and about lol

  2. Girl you are too funny but I know it was your relaxation time and sum ppl just had to rain on your parade...Remember there will be better days.

  3. lmao @ daycare.
    yes it is time for you to venture out and at least find an alternative for when things like this occur.

  4. HA HA HA!!! That sounds like the most entertaining nail salon in history. Sign me up!



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