Wednesday, November 9, 2011

R.I.P Heavy D

I was raised on hip hop.....real hip hop. And the overweight lover, Heavy D was part of that genre. Heavy D, (better known as Dwight Arrington Meyers) died in his home yesterday of what is still to be considered unknown causes. As of yet its been reported that no foul play has been suspected. Just another unfortunate great loss in the hip-hop community. My adolescence was filled with Heavy D songs.....and this one in particular video was part of the first homemade mixtape I popped into the cassette player of my stepdad's car at the age of 16. Still the jam. Rest In Peace Heavy......the overweight lover will never be forgotten. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011


30 or not crushes are the shyt.....LOL and for that little girl giddiness has me going back to my old middle school crush songs...

Friday, August 19, 2011

What the lick read?? The birthday girls' life

Somewhere someone is saying, "Where the fuck is Chocolate Girl Wonder"? Well....maybe. I'm not quite. Maybe you could probably not give a rat's ass, but let me let you know what's going on in my hum-drum life.

  • I lost my job. No I didn't get fired. After 6 years of faithful serving, managing, training and exuding divaness throughout my employment my job unexpectedly closed with a 24-hour notice. Two weeks ago to be precise. Yep so I'm searching for work. It blows.

  • I've been freaking out about the above. I am the most experienced person in the store, but I have yet to find a job. Grrr....girls I trained are already back up and running. *sad face*

  • is my 30th birthday. *fake cheer* yeahhhh

Saturday, July 23, 2011

R.I.P Amy....

She gave people a lot to talk about. A lot. That style. That hair. That life. Most importantly to me was.......that voice.
R.I.P Amy

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Put a ring on it????

I've been watching these things around me. Listening to the conversations taking place and just taking in my surroundings. One strange conversation that continues to pop up lately is marriage. As the "dirty 30" soon approaches I look at my list of relationships, romances and the like. I must admit I am a bit disheartened at the idea of being a non-married woman at this stage, but I know I have my reason for being one. It's not that I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough. I'm not ratchet. I don't have a house full of kids. I make my own, I'm honest, faithful, and loyal (almost to a fault) and I am a good woman. I love my man (if I'm with a man at the time), I'm supportive, and I expect the same things that I give. Yet and still my wedding finger remains empty. I have my own beliefs as to why I'm not married, but I got into a convo with a few ladies who are in my boat. There reasons are a tad bit different. Some responses were as petty as: I'm single because I have kids, or because I'm fat. Everyone else believed that they just haven't came across the right one. So the questions still remains.....

What's the road block for you???

I know me. I know what I want. I know what I'm looking for and most importantly what I deserve. I have a realistic view of what relationships are. The happily ever after view I had as a teenager and a young woman has been thrown out with my tennis skirt, my Hi-five, cassette, and sock bun. I used to believe that all it took to make a relationship work was love. Love was the answer to everything. The shyt is far more complicated than that. Men by nature are always looking for better. Even when they don't deserve it. Even when the woman in front of them that is willing to give her hand should be the one looking for better. Women spend that same time trying to make a man whose obviously not on the same page into a husband. Trying to pull a man that's running the other direction into a divine sacred ring of holy matrimony. So in the meantime we as women play the waiting game. Trying to figure out what's wrong with us...why we aren't the marrying kind. By the time we give up or have that magical a-ha moment we have wasted a good portion of our lives. More than likely living in a state that does not consider us a common law married couple. And that leaves us......where exactly.??

Women take this super personal. Men see marriage quite differently than we do. Some see it as damn near the end of their lives. Some see it as the biggest decision they could ever possibly make (which they do have a point). So they take it very seriously. Some just can't think of possibly giving up a world of women so that they could cuddle with the same one...even after she gets crow's feet and her breasts hang to her knees. Some are forever unready and unsure...even down to the seconds before their parched, shaky mouths open and say, "I do". Marriage is the one topic that men tread on very lightly while women jump into head first. Look at it this way. A man can be with the same woman for twenty plus years and after babies and  after the changing of office of four presidents still never give that woman his last name.

Case example: Rocker Gene Simmons', his girlfriend of 26 yrs. Shannon Tweed and their two adult children

A woman can marry a lifetime sentence carrying prison pen pal whom she doesn't even get to kiss at their prison house wedding. She will be just as content to carry #214529"s last name as if he was the king of France. Even when there is no hope in it.

Desperate times call for desperate measures when you're a woman with a wedding dream and a biological clock that's ticking.You start to get ahead of yourself and think..."OMG I might never have a husband and family wtf am I gonna do?" You rationalize the situation and feel as if you have to "make it happen". If you're like my friend Chrissy Lampkin here you will run to the hottest jeweler with a large chunk of your savings and get your boo a rock that is to die for. Invite all your friends and fam to the spot, drop to one knee, and with tears in your eyes ask him to make your five year plus union New York state official. And in return being that very official brother he is he will look you in the eye and say something like..."I'm withchu". Excuse my french but, what the fuck was that shyt? Once I step out on the proverbial love limb and offer my all in the form of a high carated piece of finger jewelry and an offer to be with you forever I need a much more solid response. Especially when my family and friends are watching. That's a new form of embarrassment. One I pray I will never have to endure.

Sometimes my desire to have kids gets the best of me and I feel it's time to pull a Chrissy, but I realize that I am not married for many reasons. The right ones. If I married today I nor my mate would be in the best financial position. We wouldn't be at our strongest place in our relationship, or honestly the timing would probably just be wrong. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the title of it all that we don't appreciate the relationship we have in front of us. Marriage is a beautiful thing if you have it with the right person, but if you don't......smh that can be hell. So I suggest ladies we not worry so much about why we aren't and enjoy the status we have. Acknowledge when you're ready, and be real with yourself when you know that you're not. In the meantime.....yes it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work....but put your heart into making each other happy. Loving each other and appreciating your here and now is a lot less chaotic than trying to reach out to a finish line that is miles away. Divorce rates are so ridiculousy high now because people don't think about the future. People are so wrapped up in the here and now and the great feeling of love at that moment that they don't acknowledge that there will be a day when bills pile up, he/she will be getting on your last nerves, and he/she will be thirty pounds heavier. That's when you have to forget about all that extra and remember that person is still the same person you loved  that special day long ago.

I refuse to take the change of my last name lightly. So I guess in my case he has to do a whole lot damn more than like it to put a ring on it.........he has to be committed to this Chocolate Girl Wonder forever. Forever-ever. Forever-ever.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I'm sorry......kinda

I am so sorry for the post delay guys. I can give you a hodge podge of excuses, but the fact of the matter's the summer. Who in the hell has time to sit in front of the computer all day?? LOL Not I said the cat. Well honestly I'm back working 6 days a week, enjoying this great Wisconsin weather, and relishing in my last final weeks as a twenty-something. I must say I am pretty excited to hit the dirty 30. In the meantime here's a pictorial. LOL

I'm having way too much fun partying with these skinny mini youngsters I work with. But they are wearing my old ass out. They seem to have partying energy that goes on for effin ever. *sighs* ahhhhh to be twenty one again.  Nonetheless a lot of BS and tomfoolery has been going on around me so trust that I have new topics to bitch and moan about as well as to explore. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said ft. Skylar Grey [Music Video]

"First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me."

- Martin Niemöller

Words I never said

Sunday, May 8, 2011

To my star player...happy mother's day!

You're the blood in my veins, you're the air I breathe, like a hot summer day you're like a shirt with no sleeves........
You're more than a woman to me.

My mother is a trip, but she's my trip. I love her with all my heart and can only hope that she knows how much she means to me. I consider myself blessed, because not only is she on my team. She is the only person on my team. Sometimes I'm not my star player. She is. Happy Mother's Day Vernedia McClain

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Demise of the Ride or Die Bitch

We all know her. She will rip a weave out the "other chicks" head about her man, bail him out with her gas bill money, hide the white from the feds for him, try to talk her Nana or Big Momma into putting the house up for his bail, she's there every Sunday morning for jail/prison visits, or she'll give him her tax refund to "pursue his dream" or even worse "to flip". We all know her. She is in it for the long haul. She can be a hood rat, a college educated sister, white or black. Hell she can be you or me. She's the main chick, the "one", the "wifey". The Big Tymers called her "a Hot Girl". I tend to love the Ruff Ryders term for her, "A Ride or Die Bitch". It was a song by The Lox feat. Eve. I remember it being my jam my freshman year of college. That is before I really paid attention. Here's a refresher...........
I look back on it now and all I like is Eve's makeup

ride or die chick613 up77 down
A chick that ain't afraid to be down with her man she'll do anything her man needs her to do.

Anywho. Flashback to Early 2000. At the time I was an eighteen year old college student. Over 600 miles away from home. For the first time in my life I became a hot commodity in my little Mississippi college town. Around me were scores of beautiful, smart young black women. And a very slim amount of attractive, smart, young black men. I believed a woman had to PROVE herself to be a keeper. At that time I saw nothing wrong with the Ride or Die Chick mentality. Not only was it ok. Unfortunately I became one. I wasn't just one for one man in my life, but many.

 I cooked, cleaned, paid all the bills, bought his clothes, bought his weed, picked him up, dropped him off, paid OUR way, and fought bitches that "compromised" my position. Don't get it twisted, I wasn't ho'ing around. I was proving my dedication to a man I thought I loved. Later I see most of these situations weren't even about love. It was more so about my relationship validating me. If I kept him that meant I was worthy. If he left it proved what I believed....that I wasn't good enough. And even though in the back of my mind I felt like an idiot. I felt like the end justified the means. He would eventually be my husband. Needless to say,  I am not nor have I ever been married. So not only did I not get the ending I would have hoped for. I was left with a naked ring finger and a lot of heartache. Did I put two and two together and got four? Yes. But did I stop immediately? No. It wasn't something I could stop cold turkey. It seemed almost ingrained in me.

Mrs. T.I aka Tiny, being comforted by Monica as they leave TIP's last court hearing before heading back for 11 more months of prison time

But it did eat away at me. Giving one hundred per cent of myself became a full-time job. More than I could handle. Especially when I realized in most cases I hadn't received fifty per cent in return. At one point I felt like I was nothing. My sanity was holding on by a thread. In 2005 I felt my ex was slipping from my hands and there was nothing I could do about it. He demanded that I cut my hair. So the day before my grandmother's funeral I cut off all my hair. To pacify and keep a man not worth keeping. To be honest I hated my short hair. It was hot. But not me. The hair cut was an extension of him.. It just happened to be that I was wearing it. Due to the fact that he lived next door to my salon he kept tabs on when I got it done. As weird as this sounds he wasn't very controlling. At the time I did it willingly all in the mindset of keeping him.

Most women don't realize that they take on the ride or die mentality. We can't make these men seem like the bad guys. Yes they can be sometimes, or good guys that make bad choices, or just current bad choices to be with. We as women however make the choice to stay, support, and pacify these men in there behaviors. I slowly began to realize that this wasn't working for me. While doing everything and being the super heroine I realized I wasn't that man's princess. I wasn't being cuddled and showered with gifts. I had nothing to show for my hard work. So I left that relationship. Still not leaving the mentality.

How I killed my ride or die bitch

So in 2008 I started a new relationship. Taking away some of the things I did , but still keeping a lot of qualities. I accepted less than respectful behavior, got loud and grimey with a chick or two. Rather than see it for what it was. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a supportive girlfriend. Nothing. But this there to the end mentality is no longer for me. I have officially rejected it. I am in it until my common sense and heart tells me to stop. No longer can I be Ride or Die for people who have never been ride or die for me. I can only now just love as a heart and woman loves. And give up when it is time to so. Does that end my dedication? Loyalty? supportiveness? No. No. No. It just ends a hard core senseless dedication to it. I am happy to say I am no longer a ride or die chick. For some women this could end in marriage and a happily ever after. Good for them, but for me....I just can't do it. I'm just Valecia. A good woman. Who has a starting point and stopping point with my love. And I know the stopping point aint death. LOL.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Girl Crush

“I don’t like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine. Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one.” — British pop star, Adele, in the latest issue of Rolling Stone.
That's a diva statement I can backup. LOL. 
So I must admit it. I am car less and have been for a while now (10 months maybe). Because I'm never in a car I never know what's playing on the radio. (I know I could be listening to internet radio, but I just don't!) So I am just discovering Plus-size, blue-eyed UK singer-songwriter Adele. This woman is phenomenal. Why did no one tell me about her? Her and Duffy have "the most intoxicating voices" to me. It's official the UK is not only where the stupid wedding's also where all the soul can be found. She is just amazing and I can't say it enough times. I guess in good ol' twitter language I'm #TeamUK

Monday, April 25, 2011

Girl Crush- Ms. Jill Scott

Isn't Ms. Jilly from Philly looking gorgeous right about now???? I'm loving the look especially those leggings and hair. She always brings it. I'm excited to hear the album. She's even hotter in the Shame video. I never considered sequins.....but she is rocking it. And the big hair *swoons*.

So what do YOU think???

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Black girls....trapped in a box

SCENARIO:  Early Thursday morning. 8:30 am to be exact. I walked the streets of W. Wisconsin Ave. in Milwaukee. I felt pretty cute. Nice neutral eye. Cute black sweater. Fitted black dress pants. Brown heels and my signature brown bag cradled in the crook of my left arm. Starbuck's Tall Chai Latte secure in my right. I was headed to an interview. An interview that I felt I had in the bag. I was all smiles. I nodded a pleasant hello to various people walking my way. One young man in particular smiled my way and said, " Well good morning beautiful".  I looked up to find a short cropped, messy blond with a beautiful smile and teeth.  Was he cute? Gorgeous to be precise. Like David Beckham in a peacoat with a backpack. I smiled and thanked him. "My pleasure entirely sweetheart", he responded. We walked away slowly smiling. Well.....I'll be honest. I was Cheesing, but I did feel some kinda way. I combination of happy and weird. Weird because ummm he was white. And I don't mean that in the ewww he was white way, but the well that was different way. I had to stop and ask myself why is this weird to me? I see it everyday. My answer was: yes, just not really with black women.

R & B Artist Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton
I have been guilty of being that woman. The one with the snide comments when I saw a black man with a white woman. (or woman of any race other than black). Somewhere down the line I stopped caring. I started seeing the situation for what it was. There is someone for everyone. Race shouldn't be the factor. However I wondered...what is stopping sistas from "venturing" out and seeing other men as love interests. I have always seen my life as one daydream or pleasant montage after another. I dreamed what my high school days would be like, what college would be like, how great my twenties would be. I have daydreamed everything down to my possible pregnancies. And I always viewed my wedding cake with two little brown faces on top of the cake. Why? I can't say. But that was always apart of the dream. I actually had a lot of crushes on white boys, but I always felt like my husband would use Dax and a wave brush. *Shrugs* Go figure. 
R & B Singer Heather Headley and husband former NY Jets player Brian Musso

As I get older I realize finding the right person has a lot less to do with color and far more to do with your heart. I rarely ever hear a black man say they won't date a white woman. Better yet I hear them give me a list of reasons why they would or why they feel like black women are now the obsolete option. I wont go into detail about that for a few reasons. 

  • That ish is angering
  • It's disrespectful
  •'s neither here nor there, because we are not discussing exclusion we are talking about expanding options. 
  • I'm not into making generalizations here.
Looking around I see a large portion of African-American men in prison, or have no act right, are married, with white women, are homosexual, or are in hiding where I just can't snatch them up. Because of this a lot of sistas seem to feel as if their pickings are slim. In some cases they are correct. So they choose to take sub-standard relationships in order to be with "the black man". I understand their train of thought, but sub-standard relationships never become what you want. They never flourish into the beautiful wedding and dreams you hoped. It just keeps dragging on into the land of sub-standard-dom. It's not my job to hold my brothers up. It's my job to live a happy, fulfilling, God- filled life with someone who loves me and understands me as much as I love and understand him.
South Park Co-Creator Matt Stone and his wife Angela
We seem to be so caught up in the specifics. Who cares if he's a chicken parmigiana guy and I'm a collard greens and cornbread girl. Those are all things that will work themselves out. The right guy will love me when the sink is filled with shedding remy weave anyway. In the year 2011 we are still trying to figure out one another when there isn't really much to learn. Everyone for the most part is the same. We all just have different life stories. 
Grey's Anatomy star Justin Chambers and wife, Keisha

So as of today I vow to keep my options open. I will be open to love from whatever tree it's leaves may fall from. Because the honest to God truth is on my wedding day it doesn't matter if the hand I'm holding is ivory and I'm staring into some piercing blue eyes, or he's a caramel brown brother with a beautiful dark brown pair. All that truly matters is the words, "I do". And the fact that he means them as much as I do. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

TAG!!!!!! I'm it.....LOL

I was tagged recently by the lovely and oh so fly Zakiya of Bigg Badd Wolf: A style Blog with the oh so prestigious Kreativ Blogger award. I believe this to be my first one....(if not *shrugs* sorry memory is slipping) either way I am super excited and thankful. The award rules go as follows:

*State 10 facts about yourself
*Tag 10 bloggers
*Inform them that they've been given the award

No...this is NOT my room, but I wish it was....

Based upon the words I post I come across as a very rough around the edges type broad. That's merely one side to me. I am actually quite girly girly. I like unicorns, glitter, Lisa Frank and all that shit. But above all else my favorite color is pink. I wear it all the time. 

I have odd dreams of becoming a plus size model. Don't ask why. Or even how for that matter. I just know I look damn good in photographs. Not all that hot in person, but in photographs...absolutely stunning!!!!

I am in love with wonder woman. I think she is the best super hero (ine) ever made. Hell I love Linda Carter simply because she played Wonder Woman. Oh shit I just had the hottest thought....a photoshoot as Wonder woman.....yeahhhhh...that would be the hotness!!!

I studied Journalism at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I dropped out as a junior. Life kinda got in the way, but I do love writing. My problem is I write how I's not all that proper. LOL. To be honest I never really had a desire to write. I wanted to have my own talk show. I have an opinion about everything. It's not always right, but it sure is interesting.

Over the years I have grown to be a tad bit anti-social. I don't hate people per'se. It's the idiosyncrasies of people that gnaw at my nerves. 
LOL cocaine waitress...not my profession but I liked the pic

Even while being a non "people lover" I am a waitress by trade. Yes I say by trade. I don't care what anyone says waitressing takes a skill and patience that I never knew I had. It's weird I'm not a fan of the public, but I can tap dance and shuffle if cash is involved. I love what I do. I'm just looking to do it in way better venues. Too bad I'm too fat to be a stripper cause I would sooo do it. Nahhhh I'm playing....or am I???? LOL

I am a foodie. Whole Foods, trader joes, and farmer's markets make my day. I have a  love of produce that is just weird. I can and will try any vegetable once. So far I have only disliked one......the dreaded asparagus. I may try it again and just cook it differently. 

I have super strong legs. The first fitness activity I joined in middle school was....The weight lifting club. I showed up after school all cute in my pink tee, black sweats, and pink and black shoes to find out two things about myself. I was the ONLY girl that was joining. And....I could leg press 120 lbs. at the age of eleven. I do 40 squats and lunges a can only imagine what my butt looks like LOL
well not like this...but dammit it's getting there!
My PC is starting to act an ass. Ol' Bessie has seen some good days but now I think it's time to bid her adieu! Honestly I don't really have new computer money right now so Bessie might have to hold out till I say when. I won't be saying when soo. Hell I have bills people.

Call me a stand up woman with a basic bitch  twist. I don't know if marriage and babies are truly in the cards for me. If I never get married I won't feel as if I have been slighted in life and the great experiences that I've had. But here's the basic bitch twist.....I don't really need a marriage. The ultimate love my name in a visible spot. *swoons* See I told you that was basic.....very. LOL

Here are the bloggers that I am tagging:
Miesha Mosby at Ms. Phyt..Phat..N..Phyne
Sharona at This is Sharona
Jacquelyn at Fabdiva20
Downtown Pepper at More Composition Please
I Bleed Pink at I Bleed Pink

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Thursday, April 7, 2011

And you wonder why we call you bitch: Females and friendship

Scenario 1: I'm in the gym working out and sweating my ass off. It doesn't mean a thing to me that I'm the only black female in the gym. I've been a member for a few months now and I like it. I'm quite comfortable there. I make an effort to smile or nod at everyone coming in even at my hardest resistance in those last few hard minutes. I never asked to be the welcoming committee I just do it, because I'm in a good mood and feeling polite. So along walks in two young black girls. About my age, about my height, and about my build. Lace front wigs blazing, false eyelashes fluttering, and long ass acrylics waving back and forth. Let's not even talk about why you would be in a gym with a wig on. As always I wave. They look at me, look at each other, and Give me a funny ass "who does she think she is?" look as if how dare I have the audacity to smile at them. Well damn. 
This look describes how I felt perfectly!

I am almost thirty years old. Which means I have had a lot of time to deal with people. I learn something new about myself everyday, but I have people (for the most part) figured out. I am a people watcher. I generally size people up for months before I really, REALLY begin to let them in. I watch for lies, reactions, opinions. What they say about others, do they take the blame for their mistakes or is it always someone else's fault, are they hard working or are they petty. Do they show themselves respect, do they respect me, and do they hold up their end of the bargain. Are they one dimensional in their opinions and views or willing to look at a picture in it's entirety. This is not what I look at to determine a friend. It's merely what I look at to see if you're even worth being an associate. This doesn't apply with women. Me attempting to build a new friendship with a woman is a thing of the past. 

Women are the nurturers of the earth. Emotional creatures that are known to be the most loving sex. But women can be some of the meanest, most trifling, cattiest, backstabbing, and jealous individuals on the planet. 
See what I mean????
Scenario 2: In high school I was apart of a clique. Not the mean girls type, but a crew of kids that were all raised in the same neighborhoods, elementary, middle and high schools all our lives. We had all the same extracurricular activities, and attended the same church. I didn't need to go looking for friends. I didn't need them. I had something better. A family. There were only two females in this group of  fifteen to twenty. We bumped heads here and there like any other teenage girls did, but till this day she is still my heart. It was the "other girls". The other girls who wanted to date my "brothers". The girls that had crushes on them and saw me and my homegirl as a threat. Or girls who didn't understand why we chose to hang with the guys. So we became all kinds of names. Hoes. Sluts. Nasty bitches. Not because we actually were. We weren't, but because the words helped these chicks sleep better at night. It couldn't possibly be that he didn't like you because your breath smelled like hot garbage. Or he didn't like you because you had a super unlady like cussing issue. Or better yet he didn't even know you liked him. It was always because those two bitches must be fucking him. Really??? I think not. Had you maybe took a moment to befriend me or perhaps get to know me I would have thrown in a good word for you. Now all my "brothers" are either married or engaged to some great stand-up women. Women who accept and appreciate the friendships we share with them. 

Scenario 3: I remember being a fresh, happy Sunday school teaching twenty-one year old college junior. I was in love with a man thirteen years older than me. He had seven kids and five baby mamas. (LOL I know that was dumb on my part). I thought we were going to be together forever. So I made a point to get to know his children and family quite well. It was odd and more than I should have gotten into at that age, but I always made sure I showed the mothers of his children respect. Besides whether me and him made it together or not those chicks were gonna be around in some way shape or form forever. So I always said hello, smiled, asked how were they doing. All of them on a face to face level thought pretty highly of me....or so I thought. One day one of the chicks felt as if the conversation she was trying to have with my then boyfriend wasn't as important as the fact that he was currently on the phone with me. "You can get off the phone with that bitch and talk to me please?" Really? I'm a bitch. Hmmm. ok. I had a baby mama (different relationship) once tell my boyfriend that she thought she looked better than me. I dated a guy who refused to bring me around his son's mother because she was that crazy. She knew I existed. I could hear her on the phone one time saying, "When you gonna let me meet ya new girl so I can check this hoe". I snatched the phone and gave Ms. Indignant a piece of my mind. That night was our last date. I don't play that shit. Apparently these are the things that make them feel better about me riding there exes into oblivion every night. Especially when I'm nothing, but respectful to these women. 

You can say that I'm exaggerating, but women are vicious creatures. Men don't try to throw a drink on a guy at the bar if he has on the same shirt as him. Men rarely (make that never) fight over women. Men don't give a flying fuck about any of that. Shit like that is such a small part of life and they are more likely to look at the bigger picture. Unless we are discussing bitch made niggas. Then it's a totally different situation.  Women have an innate fear of people in better positions. I believe everyone is like this to a certain extent. Females however are more prone to showing this trait. Anytime they see someone doing good, or having something they want, that person (usually another woman) becomes the "ultimate threat". It is too much like right to say, " That's a nice car go head girl". Or "Look at you you've lost so much weight congrats" or ___________________ (fill in space with anything positive that you rarely hear women say to each other). It's a tad bit easier for hater blood to run through female veins. I don't know why. It just is. 

Oprah and Gayle--lesbian lovers or NOT these two have done something phenomenal.
Maintained a friendship throughout the years. 
The Flipside: I don't think it's impossible for two females to have an honest upstanding good hearted relationship. As long as the two people involved are honest, upstanding, good-hearted women. That is the only way it will work. It's impossible if only one person is. I feel like the friends I have are the ones I have. I don't desire at this age to make any new ones. Respect however is something I give to every woman I meet. I just find it so odd how it kills a woman to give that back in return. I know this isn't the complete way of life, but it's what I've been seeing the most lately. However there are always a few positive people who don't get their just credit. 

Scenario 1: While sweating and panting on the stairmaster an older black woman with a neat little afro stopped and smiled at me. She tapped me to signal she wanted to say something. I hit pause on my ipod long enough for her to say, "Baby I see you in hear all the time". "Keep it up you'll be where you want to be real soon". I smiled and thanked her for the encouragement. Oddly enough she walked up and said that right behind the lace front duo. Maybe there is hope after all. Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

A update

Well.....first I am a sucky blogger. I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like, but I do have a lot of ideas brewing in my head that I'm working on. I promise there will be two entries coming this week. I vow. Anywho..... my workouts have been awesome. I'm starting to see the transformation in my body. Muscles are forming where muscles were not before. There is one issue though. The poundage is not really going anywhere. And I know why. Because I eat a lot. Not just more than I should, but a fucking lot. Workouts tend to make me even hungrier. So.....the scale is going nowhere. And I'm pissed. High point. I do feel better. I wonder if I can over come this shit. It didn't used to be an issue. I was all about portion control and drinking water to keep myself full if necessary. It's just not cutting it now. Somebody told me once maybe you're supposed to be the weight you are. Hmmmm I seriously doubt that. I work out 3-4 days a week. Logging in a 500-700 calorie deficit every time. Somedays I add a little extra by walking to work. I try to make fruits and vegetables the main part of all of my meals and snacks. This fat to curvy situation is not as easy as I though it would be. Maybe just maybe I may have an addiction.

Which leads me to the interest of this:

I can't wait to watch this tomorrow. I think I can really learn something. It's truly amazing how much food is an aspect of our lives. It is strange how portions that were once considered the norm and healthy became kid sizes over the years. I just need to get on track with the food. It is going to take some work, but I am definitely in it to win it.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

R.I.P Elizabeth

"I'm a survivor--a living example of what people can go through and survive"

Friday, March 11, 2011

Because this has to be the funniest set of commercials ever.....

At least to me....LOL 

So once upon a time there was this weave.........

So I thought long and hard about doing a review on the last hair I had installed for a sew-in. Partially because there tends to be backlash from this company when they hear about youtube vids or blog reviews that lean a bit towards the negative. But......eff it I'm me and this is how I feel about it.

Once upon a time a young lady (me) was up at 3 in the morning lollygagging around on twitter. Halley's Curls was having a contest and giving away their newest hair texture, Candy Curls. I'm not even going to lie. I got excited as hell, because I had been eyeballing it for months. I just had no interest in coming out of my pocket  two hundred plus dollars. Anyway purse opening became completely unnecessary because I won.

That's what it looked like......8 oz. of 14" in candy curls

I went through the companies instructions of HSC (Hydrating, Shampooing, and Conditioning) the hair. I gave it a few days to air dry and ran happily to my stylist to have it sewn-in. 

First complaint: Now maybe this has something to do with my stylists braid pattern or maybe it means I have a big ass head, but I was 2 braids short of all the hair I needed to complete the sew-in. My stylist used two wefts of beauty supply hair to fill in the braids. That slightly irked me because I didn't get the real Halley's experience, but nonetheless it was cute. 
Day 1 2/10/11 all that curly cuteness

Second complaint: If you go to the Halley's Curls website they tell you that their wefts are reinforced. Hmmm Really???? My wefts shed like hell. Seriously crazy shedding all over the place. 

Third Complaint: And it was necessary to comb through it daily because due to waitressing my hair stayed in a ponytail during work and I have to comb out all the tangles I would get during the day. I understand curly hair gets tangles far more but the tangles were just out of control. And the amount of hair that would come out ???? Child please. P.S. I'm a weave-ologist I know how to properly comb out tangles. So that is NOT the reason for the excessive shedding. 

Fourth Complaint: Matting. Is this an issue that comes along with just curly hair???? OMG The back of my hair matted something horrible even when I detangled. I can detangle to a certain point and once I get towards the top of the back weft it becomes obvious that I'm dealing with one big tangle that I will NOT be able to get out.
Week 3 It looks good but.......I'm just no longer feeling it

Plus my workout regimen is not conducive with this sew-in. The curliness of if requires me to spiral curl the front at least once a week.  I am really not into putting that much heat on my hair on a weekly basis. Is the hair gorgeous? Of course it is. Am I really glad I didn't shell out money for it? You damn skippy. It kinda makes me said that I gave up six months of transitioning to relax for this sew-in. If I'm doing something wrong feel free to let me know. But all in all this is all bad for me. Makes me miss the Bobbi Boss Ocean wave that I complained so much about in September. Or maybe just maybe I need to go back to braids....hmm who knows......

Products used on hair: Dove Intensive Care Shampoo and Conditioner, Garnier Fructris Curl Sculpting Cream-gel, and occasionally John Freida Frizz Ease Dream Curls Curl-Perfecting Spray.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Girl Crush......

I don't care what anyone says I love me some Nicole Polizzi aka "Snooki"
She is just freaking adorable to me big hair, big mouth, crazy ways, curvy shape and all. When I saw this cover my girl crush meter immediately went into code red mode. So with all that said....enjoy!

Monday, March 7, 2011

A me recap *oh so random*

*Don't you just love the Rick Ross "I'm a boss" look I'm giving off LOL*

1) Workouts have been going awesome. There is only one massive downside. I eat the way I work out. *with my gangsta grill on* Nigga I goes hard!!!!! Seriously if I burn off 600 calories in a workout as I'm walking out the gym my head is on two things: 1) Congrats girl you did the damn thang! and 2) Now where the hell are we gonna get you something to eat? SMH I know. Conuterproductive like a mutha, but at least I try to eat healthier now.

2) Bills are kicking me in my extra large arse. Like really hard. I just got an awesome raise and still my bills are looking at my check and laughing. I could be wrong, but I could have swore I had my energy bill laying next to my pay role check and heard the bill say to my check, "Hoe you ain't shit".

3) So I've been thinking about this whole issue of 30 being around the corner. Most importantly how I chose NOT to have children yet because I wanted to be greedy. I wanted to do for myself. But as I look back on the situation I have not made an effort to enjoy my life and do the things I want. Or the things I deserve. That shit stops now. Ain't nothing wrong with some selfishness.

4) I have been bored lately. With life. With television. With the internet (especially facebook hoes), even my blog, basically with everything. Nothing seems to be entertaining anymore.... so I have to re-create my entertainment. Or maybe even re-create myself. *clap clap* Dance Geppetto dance.

5) I'm starting to realize there was a reason why in my youth I didn't deal with a lot of females. Hoes ain't bout shit. Don't believe me??? Watch a reality show full of women. Real Housewives of _________, Football/soccer/basketball/Crackdealer wives (or whatever the hell you wanna call it) or those "hook me up with a D-list has been" shows. Women can be some of the most ass backward hatin' ass creatures on the face of the planet. Seriously. I sense it's time that I slap the shit outta a hoe. Not women. Just the hoes. They seem to be getting outta line a lot lately.  And that's why I love the company of men....*smirks* and for other OBVIOUS reasons.

6) Who besides me thinks Wiz is overrated? Or Waka is garbage? The sad thing is there is nothing I would love to do more than pull a man's dreads and ride him into the oblivion. Mr. Flocka dried that wet dream out Sahara style. Any man that wants to study geometry in college is someone I can get for all his money. smh Hell I rather be a middle schooler so I can be ok crushin' on Diggy Simmons and Justin Beieber. They both got more game AND money.

7) If you can tell me more about world star hip hop and than you can the plight of libyan people under Muammar Ghadafi's rule please kill yourself.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Say whaaaaa????: The Obese America Edition

You know the America is fat when.........

Case #1

 Couples are getting married at White Castle. I had a friend tell me about this a week or so ago. The saddest thing about this shit is when I googled it I got like 3 different other couples. Don't believe me?? View for yourself. I couldn't make this ishhh up if I tried.

Of all the ghetto buffoonery in the land I just can't believe dis ish. This is worse than the couple with the airbrushed Mr. and Mrs. Shirts....smh If yall don't sit yall hungry asses down. You better off getting married at big mama's house and enjoying a plate of collard greens, baked mac and cheese, and fried chicken afterwards. At least that gluttony would be situation appropriate. 

Case #2

I love girl scout cookies. To the point where I don't even buy them anymore because I get ridiculous with my love of thin mints. Not as ridiculous as this hoe though. 
According to The Naples Daily News of Naples, FL The Collier County Sheriff's Office says that the 31-year-old woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.
The Naples Daily News reports that the roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children when the children were awake - and hungry - at 1 a.m., and offered to pay her $10, according to police.
Howard and her roommate argued and deputies say that it turned physical - with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign.
Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them.
Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.
Really??? Over some muthafreakin' thin mints????? I'm so done....just done. 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Girl Crush......

Ms. Amber Riley

 and the pictures explain it all!!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Gold digging 101

You've heard the term tons of times. Hell Kanye made a song about it. Gold digging is synonymous with prostitution (kinda) they go hand in hand. On several occasions I have had exes date questionable women. When I say questionable I mean when I think of what the hell he could see in her I'm stuck with this face.
 You know the type. Sloppy. Unattractive. Dumb. Uncouth (yes a bitch said uncouth), basically just a run of the mill (insert Lil' Duval line here) basic bitch. I can't speak for any other woman, but that shit bothers me. To no end. To the point where I have to be me and pick up the BB, facebook, hop on twitter or whatever way hell pigeon if need be and contact this lousy ex. The convo generally goes like this:

ME: hey I'm sure you don't wanna talk to me and I really don't wanna talk to you, but I gotta quick question
EX: Nahhh it ain't like that what's up ma?
ME: Since there is no better way to put it...what the phuck do you see in this bitch???
EX: What bitch??
ME: You know what bitch ya girlfriend the ugly, dumb one. It must be good sex or good convo or something!
EX: *laughs* Nah it ain't none of that. Honestly She buy me whatever I want.
ME: *after a 5-10 second pause* Well damn I can't compete with that. I was just wondering bye.

There is a skill to everything.  Golddigging included. Most women have it all down pat. I have been blessed with gifts by many male "courters" as my grandma would say. But I have never asked for anything, nor did I ever come to the table expecting anything, or did I have to "pay" for the things given to me. It's the male gold diggers that are fucking the game up. "Falling in Love" with these hoes the week before they get their W-2's and falling out of love with them right as them steak dinners transform back to hamburger helper dinners again. When the H & R Block card runs outta steam so will Lil' mama's love life. Men tend to get hearts and emotions all involved. When emotions get involved people get hurt. Emotionally. If it's me....hell maybe even physically. I bust heads about my feelings. Shid. In this being Gold digging season (tax time). A refresher course seems fitting. Take a pen and paper and let me show you how it's done.  

Rule #1 Have an understanding. 
I am a chronic dater. I date when I'm single and I date when I'm in a relationship. As in date others. I don't like to be stuck in the house all lonely so if some guy wants to ask me out to dinner and some drinks and my boyfriend is being an ass will I turn him down? No. Will he think he has something coming in return? Quite possibly. Will I set the record straight? Ya damn skippy. And I will still have a great date. Why cause I let them know what the situation is. They respect it. Not only do they respect it. I have never had a man ever get mad and refuse to pay or catch an attitude and bounce. Why? I make it clear from the gate that I don't need or want a damn thing. So them not footing the bill won't make or break me. Hell so you took me to Dave and Buster's? What the phuck do you expect? I create a balance of honesty. Either you want me for my great company and infectious personality or ya don't. Point Blank Period.

Rule #2 Don't ask for shit!!!!!

A dumb broad will tell you a closed mouth won't get fed. That's some bullshit if I have ever in the history of life heard some bullshit. Go ahead and ask for something. Whatever your heart desires. But be prepared to pay back in some kinda way. So don't be shocked when he or she pushes your head down and tells you to get to work. And don't jerk back up looking all shocked and overly pious. Just open your mouth and get to work. Ya did it before now it's time to do it again. Bet next time you won't ask for shit. If you're okay with that're just a hooker. Besides I don't want anyone asking me for shit all the time. Why would this person? That's the quickest way to make a person stop fucking with you. Don't believe me? Start begging. Folks will bounce before you fill in the blank on, "Can I have ________?"

Rule #3 Be gracious and thankful about what you do get
Last year on Valentine's day a gentleman I casually dated out of boredom ran into me at the mall. Right as I was about to pull out some hard earned dollars to buy myself some pink Air Force Ones he struck up a conversation with me. While chatting about my lack of Valentine's excitement he snuck and paid for my shoes. Awwwww utter sweetness. Did I tell the world? No. (Well now I did) I just called him. Thanked him and moved on. And I never brought it up again. Even after more dates.Why? Because continuously talking about it makes it look like you ain't never had shit. Somebody who ain't never had shit is bound to beg for more shit. Feel me???

Rule #4 Don't expect a damn thing
I am a my on mind. I deserve the world. As a child my father cemented that thought process in me. He was also smart enough to tell me that I would have to go out in the world and get that shit for myself. Men love a hard-working woman. They will give her their last. No doubt. After two weeks of working fifty five hours I was tired as all hell. A guy friend took me out for my favorite meal, the movies, and out to my favorite martini bar for the night. As I thanked him for an amazing night with a little lip action (kissing you dirty pervs) he said, "You work hard you deserved it". "Had you been one of these lazy begging hoes I wouldn't have bought yo ass a McDouble". Harsh as phuck right? True? Yes indeedy. 

Please keep in mind these rules apply to each specific situation. Class is now 


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