Saturday, February 27, 2010

The 41st Annual NAACP Image Awards: The Curvy Edition

I'd be lying if I said I watched the image awards. As I get older awards shows are blah to me. They don't hold my attention for long. I watched long enough to notice the oh so debonair Hill Harper as host and a few choice fashions. Here are the curvy girls that really caught my eye:

From Precious, Ms. Gabby Sibide was the woman of the hour. I thought her makeup was beautiful and subtle, her hair was pretty and Old school reminiscent. I love the dress however ehhh, but all in all she looked lovely

I <3  this dress! Just everything about it! The color, the style, the fit....ahhhh! Ms. Amber Riley brought the heat in this ensemble, but then again I adore everything she wears. Her hair and makeup just topped off an already (IMHO) hot look!

Next is the suddenly thinner looking and very fabulous Ms. Raven-Symone. I thought this pink,brown and gold number was just enough...ummm sexy-demure if you will. I thought it accented her curves remarkably and was just all around beautiful head to toe. A+ for that hot shoe and sexy pink lip, but all praises go to that hot new cut. I've already spoken on my Raven-symone hair envy. That hair is to die for on her!
Ms. Monique looked exquisite as always, but the dress was very ummmmm wedding dress/prom-ish idk not being a hater it just wasn't my cup of tea. I loved her hair and makeup, but I couldn't help to wonder....did she shave her legs this time?? LOL
And the woman that made me drop my jaw was the fabulous Ms. Jill Scott....

I don't even know what to say about this.......except...downright beautiful I love the color, the fabric, the hair....and wth knew she had legs like those? HOT MAMA! *shrug*
Anyway enough of my blase opinions what did you think about the looks? Or the show as a whole? (if you got a chance to watch)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Random Verbal Spewage: What Fat is NOT.....

We all talk about fat, plumpness, obesity etc., but seriously what exactly is fat?

fat   /fæt/ Show Spelled adjective,fat·ter, fat·test, noun, verb,fat·ted, fat·ting. –adjective

1. having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese: a fat person.

2. plump; well-fed: a good, fat chicken.

3. consisting of or containing fat; greasy; oily: fat gravy; fat meat.

Now that we got all that out of the way let's talk about what fat is NOT:
It's not an excuse to NOT give 100% of yourself. To not expect the very best treatment from people you meet. It's not a reason to NOT walk with your head held high. It's not a reason to not buy yourself a fierce outfit, powder your gorgeous face, gloss those sexy lips, do something fabulous with your hair and head out for a nite out, It's not a reason to stay in an unhappy or volatile relationship (cause trust me sweetheart you can and WILL do better), it's not a reason to be someone's second, third, or fourth option, it's not a reason to not be health minded fruits and veggies are NOT a rarity, but most of all.......

it's not a reason to NOT love yourself.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Make it like it was.......

"Said I've been in love a time or two, but in the end I still chose you no one could ever make me feel this way that's why it's killing me what we're going through Somehow I thought between me and you our love would stand the test of time and never ever fade" - Dru Hill "We're not making love no more

So there's this boy. And I love him. Like fat kids love cake, like sunsets, and roses, like a fierce shoe, a cooling summer breeze, a warm hug, or a glass of merlot after a long work day. Like all of those things. MAGNIFIED. Three times. And more. He stole my heart and has yet to return it. And I'm not sure if I want it back.

March 2008

However this road called love has not been easy. I have not always been happy and can't say that I'm very happy right now. We have faded out of each others lives a bit. Correction. A lot. We used to be under the same roof everyday. Now we dwell in two separate cities. With very little face time. And for a girl who needs not all, but a strong portion of her man's attention this is a no go.That's how I created the term Estranged boyfriend or E.B for short.  Being away from each other has created a breeding ground for arguments, jealousy, frustration and tears. On both sides of the fence and it makes me wonder is this really all worth it.

" Love can be a many splendid thing can't deny the joy it brings a dozen roses diamond rings dreams for sale and fairy tales It will make you hear a symphony and you just want the world to see but like a drug that makes you blind it will fool you everytime The trouble with love is it can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie it's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is it doesn't care how fast you fall and you can't refuse the call see you got no say at all" - Kelly Clarkson "The trouble with love is"

January 2010

So I have been occupying my time with "other things". Work, my pending move, a few scattered friendly dates, friends, family, and whatever else can hold my attention for a few minutes. It works for the most part. Till I'm alone, and then I just want my baby back. I'm not one too become too attached. I can handle breakups, hell I've suggested it NUMEROUS times, but this isn't a break up it's something different. Something chaotic, and completely out of place. This is NOT how it's supposed to be. And I need that old thing back.
"We been to strong for too long and I can't be without you baby and I'll be waiting up until you get home cause I can't sleep without you baby Anybody whose ever loved you knows just what I feel Too hard to fake it Nothing can replace it Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby"- Mary J. Blige "Be Without You
I miss coming home after a long day of work and complaining about my boss and coworkers. I miss jokes about my green smoothies, hours of late night sex, and cuddled up asleep all morning after. I miss our lives working together. I miss emotion, conversations, laughs, even arguments I miss...LOVE.

So there's this boy. And I love him. Like fat kids love cake, like sunsets, and roses, like a fierce shoe, a cooling summer breeze, a warm hug, or a glass of merlot after a long work day. Like all of those things. MAGNIFIED. Three times. And more. He stole my heart and has yet to return it. And I'm not sure if I want it back.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

My Chick Bad......

I like pink. That's why I'm a princess. Three years into me proclaiming to be the ULTIMATE princess here sashays this chick Nicki Minaj wearing pink tracks and proclaiming to a barbie. At first I laughed, but she grew on me. I like her style, her look is exotic, and hell she loves pink! Now though I might not ever throw a weft of pink weave in my hair I can always acknowledge the flyness of another sister. Not to mention I'm already working on getting my flyness back in order. This song just makes me wanna step my game up! Enjoy!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Life as a fat girl Part 1

Disclaimer: Life has never been easy for me. Not that I have a horrendous tear-filled Orphan Annie like story to tell, but it just wasn't an easy road to walk as a young girl. I like it that way. Anything that's easy to get is something not worth attaining in the first place. There is a stigma to being the "fat" girl. A taboo topic. People look at you like you're less than them. They talk about you, but not to you. But dammit right here right now, I'm gonna talk about it.

I always laugh and say that the last time I recall being a "normal" weight was August 19th, 1981. I was born at a healthy seven pounds and seven and a half ounces. Not too much. Not too little. My first memory of knowing I was fat was at age three. My grandmother babysat me most of the time and Friday was our day to go grocery shopping. If I was good I could get a meal of my choice from my favorite fast food restaurant, which was the beloved McDonald's. Needless to say, I was always good. One Friday I decided that because I was a big girl I could choose a big girl meal. I chose a Big Mac and fries. To my surprise my grandmother didn't tell me no. So after unloading all the groceries I was allowed to sit at the kitchen table and partake of my big girl meal. Not even three bites in my mother walked in from work. Tired, cold, and preoccupied with other things she began to rant and rave about her work day. Mid sentence she placed her eyes on me and let out a screech, "What the hell is in my baby's mouth?"  She took the sandwich out of my hand and turned to my grandmother. "Stop feeding my baby this stuff mama. That's why she's fat right now!" She then dropped my burger in the trash along with the fries. Being her hyper-emotional self she then ran into the bathroom to cry. At that moment at the age of three I learned two important lessons. I was FAT. And FAT was bad. It had to be bad. Otherwise it wouldn't make my mom cry. I wondered what could I not be fat anymore.

My mother then began to discuss my fat-ness with her friends in front of me "Girl I just don't know what to do with her", she'd say. I'd keep playing in the yard with my friends pretending not to hear. She always had one friend who would blame my chubbiness on baby fat, tell her to leave me alone, and they'd pour another beer. I was okay with that excuse. Yeah it's baby fat, I would tell myself. And I'm going to outgrow it.

At five I remember my parents sent me to a nutritionist. As helpful as this was SUPPOSED to be it just wasn't. The nice white woman in the green dress (covered with a white lab coat I believe) asked me to make a list of my favorite foods. We then made a second list taking all my favorites that were healthy. One in particular was discussed. "You like pickles?" I nodded in agreement. "Well when you're hungry instead of having potato chips for a snack you should have some pickles instead". That created a pickle "addiction" that I still have to this day. Did I lose weight? Nuh uhn.

So I became the fat girl. No matter how I tried to fit in or no matter how many friends I had I was always very aware of my fatness. It changed my behaviorisms drastically. I became overly sarcastic and quick and sharp-witted because I had to be ready for the first fat insult. I became somewhat of a bullie to ensure that the insults never took place. I was always aware of my weight in the most horrible way. I survived the elementary and middle....but the hardest part was yet to come...high school.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

TAG Come on get happy!

I'm ridiculously late at damn near everything I do. Sorry procrastination is my middle name. I was tagged Saturday by the lovely Jacquelyn at Fab20Diva!

Post 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, link back to the person who awarded you, and pass along to up to 10 people

1. Payday (anytime I have money in my hands is a very, very good day and seeing that I'm a waitress that's pretty common)
2.Spending time with my boyfriend. It's not common at all so I cherish those moments. I even try to minimize my gripes during the cuddle time he puts the biggest smile on my face.
3. Makeup and lately it doesn't have to be MAC it just has to look great on me I can play with makeup all day. And honestly I have.
4. Blogging I love this I wish I could get paid for it, but I do it faithfully and don't soo.... that's fine by me too! It helps me get my thoughts out. I absolutely adore it!
5. My family and co-workers they mean the world to me and I'd be fully prepared to put my boxing gloves on for them!
6. My job. I am a PT manager/FT waitress and I love coming to work. I never dread going in and I have been doing it for 5 amazing years!
7. Twitter. I can and will tweet all damn day. While I work. In the middle of the night when I go to the potty. (TMI) While at the Club. Anywhere.
8. Hair. Human Hair. Yaky. Milkyway. 1b. Preferred.
Thankyouverymuch. LOL.
9. Photography. Some think I'm some wanna be amateur plus-size model. Nope. Just love to take pictures. All the time. Been that way All my life. Go Figure. *Kanye shrug*
10. Shopping. Love a great outfit, but there is nothing better when a complete look comes together.

Nikki  at
Erica at
Dwana at
Cyn at
Sharona at
Lalaiybean at

Do you think about me?????

I stopped liking this dude a long time ago. Between him and Kanye that's enough ego and machissmo to make the world stop spinning *rolls eyes*. But this song and video is sooo intriguing. Tell me what you think.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A very late Valentine's Day recap!

True to my blog entry I proclaimed the 11th-14th to be "love yourself weekend". My mom bought me some amazing Godiva chocolates which lasted about a half hour when I walked in my job with it. The rest of my gifts were a combination of love from myself and a little love from others.

P.S. I've been loving pink long before Nicky Minaj first said harajuku so don't assume that's why I like it.

Yes I know that's a lotta pink. I had a ho-hum day and it wasn't all I hoped it to be. didn't suck!

Monday, February 15, 2010

a change gon' come

My life has gotten stale. Yes stale. Like chips in a bag left opened. Or bread you leave on the counter too long. Not so much my life, but my look. I've grown increasingly lax with my high quality God given hotness. It's cooled down considerably. And I have to do something about it. IMMEDIATELY
I used to be very much a "I need to go to MAC a minimum of once a month or my life might end" kinda gal. That just kinda died with the recession. I also used to be a "I have 1500 wigs and you don't know which woman you might wake up to" kinda gal. Not anymore.....I actually bore the hell outta myself now. So I'm contemplating a new Valecia. Hell I'm almost 30 and I need my hotness to carry over in a way that dynamic, and Rhianna but no mohawks and wearable. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was being in a relationship and waking up to someone seeing me in my scarf and makeup free that made me think slouchiness was acceptable...well back on game looks will be coming soon.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I'm feeling..........

Call it the fast ass girl in me, but my Ipod has like 500 songs in it but I can not stop playing this one in particular. It kinda makes the bad girl come out. Not that she's ever really in hiding *wink*
Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home)-Usher

Friday, February 12, 2010

A Hairy situation

We all know I'm a false hair aficionado. I make no disputes about that, but let's NOT look at Wendy Williams wig for a moment and let's look at that cute, fierce ass hair cut that stands upon the head of little miss mini-mogul Raven-Symone. Isn't that shyt DA HOTTNESS?! Needless to say.....I want a hair cut!
Like NOW!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

OMG I need this shoe in my life....

Sorry, I know I'm supposed to be on a spending diet for my move but sweet Lawd Jeezus are these not HOT??!!!! This shoe says, "Excuse me sir, but I'm bad as hell and for that reason alone you will me buying me a drink, merlot or cosmopolitian preferably! Sheesh it's not a bad price, but with international shipping....hmmmm. Lemme stop I'm still carless!

My take on the John Mayer uproar

Ok so the whole twitterworld and internet community were all in an uproar yesterday about the words of Mr. John C. Mayer. He is a great artist, and wonderful singer, but he just shouldn't talk. I know I might rile a few people up with the statement I'm about to make, but hey it's just my opinion. Unless you were living under a very large rock yesterday everyone suddenly seemed to get a hold of the John Mayer Playboy interview. He made a barrage of idiotic offensive statements, but I am going to highlight my opinions on just one.
"I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick."- on dating black women- John Mayer

So basically he said he's just not attracted to black women. Okay. African-American women had a flipping uproar because he has a David Duke cock. Soooooooooo????? I have a Black panther juice boxx!!! Big flipping deal! I spot attractive Caucasian men on a regular basis, but none are attractive enough to make me sexually attracted to them. As tactless and crude as his statement was it was honest. I respect honesty. Preference is preference. I have had my fair share of crushes on people of another race, but sexual intercourse is not a thought to me with those people. Besides can you imagine him with someone like Beyonce??? He wouldn't know what the hell to do with her. All this means now is when he's singing "Your Body Is a Wonderland" I know he's not singing to me. Because I already knew I wasn't singing to him LOL.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ain't nothing wrong with some self-love.....

Disclaimer: If you're thinking dirty thoughts congrats you're a perv! And for that reason alone I love you and you are my friend, however that is not what this entry is about so......get your mind out of the gutter! Go ahead......I'll wait.

So Valentine's Day is upon us. The day where lovers express their love in grand gestures such as airplanes making messages through the sky, marriage proposals, a rose covered pathway to ecstasy, a shared bubble bath, or just loving quiet time alone. As I type this I become repulsed. Not that these things make me sick. Actually repulsed is the wrong word. The term I'm looking for is "filled and overwhelmed with complete jealousy" ...yep that sounds about right.

Valentines Day has always been my unlucky spot. Back in high school when guys sent girls flowers I would get one, from a guy friend who thought I was a sweet girl and felt sorry for me. Guys loved me they thought I was the coolest female friend EVER! I liked guy stuff and to top it off I had a nice rack, but I just wasn't relationship material. I even had a little motto:
"Valecia A. Price Every guy's girl, but no man's woman"

My dating life did not take off until age eighteen. I moved away to Mississippi for college and suddenly the self-proclaimed fat, black girl was HOT!!! Me being new to relationships I came home at the end of the school year engaged. Yes engaged. Now even with a fiance in tow I got not a damn thang for V-day. We both were college kids working at Burger King. Our romance that night on our shift included taking a break together...and splitting a Double Whopper w/ bacon and cheese value meal!

Even with the almost five years I dated Master Manipulator we were so on again off again that we only had one valentines day together and that was a total bust! So now with E.B (Estranged Boyfriend for those who may have forgotten) I have taken on the attitude of a contestant on For the Love of Ray J. I want to win in the end, but I just don't expect much. I want the candlelit dinners, presents of jewelry, and big gaudy flourishing expressions of love. Call me corny, but I crave that. It just NEVER happens!

I'm proclaiming February 11th-14th as love your damn self weekend. I'm going to get my eyebrows done, kill some stray hairs, buy some new hair, a new outfit, do my nails, ya know just do something special for me. It feels as if I've been waiting for so long for someone to love me like I want, need and deserve. Maybe it's best that I do it myself. I guess "set the standard" if you will.

"You can't love nobody until you love you, so when you do love somebody you know what to do" Murphy Lee "Love you baby"

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Things my Mama Taught me: Unheeded Good advice on Loot, Life, and Love Vol. I Pt. 2

Disclaimer: Though the last entry of "things my mama taught me" didn't get many comments on my blog it garnered a lot of support from my facebook and twitter family. I decided to make it a monthly "series" if you will. After all in my twenty-eight years on this earth my mom has given me plenty advice that I didn't take into consideration. I know I have enough to fill 2010. Enjoy!

When I was little my babysitter was my grandmother. So I amused myself by doing old woman things all day. We shelled peas, shucked corn, and watched old television shows. When I say old I mean "The Beverly Hillbillies","My Three Sons", "The Patty Duke Show" "Happy Days", and "Joanie Loves Chachi". The latter two being my absolute favorites. It gave me an idea of what life was going to be like when I (then four) became a teenager. I was fascinated with the pencil skirts, bobby socks, and the downright good old wholesomeness of it all.

Okay so it was a very wrong idea of what my teenage years would be like, but I thought it was pretty on point. I thought boys would take me on dates, buy me flowers, and chocolates, hold my hand, and depending on how much I liked them, at the end of the night I'd give them a kiss. On the cheek of course. Needless to say it never really worked like that. I never got my flowers or chocolates.I liked a few a little more than a lot. And gave away a little more than a cheek kiss. Which leads me to unheeded advice from mama part dos:


"Baby Sex and Love are two totally different things. As much as it seems like they go together perfectly one can survive without the other. Just because you love them doesn't mean they love you back."

Huh? No! WTF?! No mama say it ain't so! I love my boyfriend so because I do I have sex with him. And it makes him love me more. This you say can't possibly be true! LMAO Says my twenty-one year old self. I believed that love conquered all. And that sex was something you only had with those you love. Needless to say I also thought I had been in love already *smirk* I didn't know much.

What I did know was that I had a heart bursting full of love and I just wanted to get married at twenty one and clean house and push out babies and cook. Of course I don't feel that way now.
It took a few shake-ups and heartaches to understand that sex is a tool. Yes a tool. A tool to express love, desire, and passion. It can be used to manipulate, to hurt, and to dominate. Oddly enough it can be all these things in the same relationship. I had to run in my room and cry a few times before this all made sense. Thanks mom for the advice. Even when I didn't respond favorably.
"Not everyone you laying with loves you and not everyone you love you gonna lay with"

Monday, February 8, 2010

A Case Of The EX

So there's this guy and we used to date. For like 5 freakin years!!! It's what television talk shows call a tumultuous relationship. No matter how horrible things got (and it was pretty freakin' horrible) we would always find our way back to each other. Not anymore. Thank God, but it was what it was. Or shall I say it is what it is. Let's call the ex MASTER MANIPULATOR. Better yet MM for short.

So MM and I kept our distance for at least three years and in those three years I'm happy to say I fell in love with someone else. I love my boyfriend. Like fresh air, sunshine and life itself. But lately he has placed me on this list. This list of importance. I think I place tenth. Somewhere behind family, friends, his music, his laptop, liquor, fresh socks, twitter and discussions about the Illuminati and New World Order. I don't know if it's intentional or just a male oversight, but I have become pretty unimportant. Just recently a very "warped" friendship has been rekindled between MM and myself. Notice I didn't say love, romance, or relationship. Just a very odd friendship. And we both feed off of it.

He gives me advice on my current relationship. Let's me know when I'm just being a girl and overreacting, or when my emotions and reasoning seem on point. He checks on me when things are rough and he keeps it real with me. For the most part. I provide for him the same.

I don't know if any of you have ever been in a predicament such as this, but I notice I get my best relationship advise from MM. Yes he's a middle aged, womanizing, man-whore, jobless asshole. A liar and manipulator at it's finest (thus the name), but he knows me. And that was the relationship that brought me from naive college junior to GROWN ASS WOMAN. Opened my eyes to how hard love really is. Not only love, but life. Not only does he know me. Let's not get it twisted he knows I'm the SugarHoneyIceTea, but he also knows that ship has sailed. But he's seen the growth and changes I went through and he seems to be the best person to give me advice. He's supportive, cool, and on point. When I need him he's a phone call away. And there aren't many I can say that about. Which leads me to ask. Can exes become friends? Not "friends", but friends. It seems like the most obvious thing. Who can know you better than a person that's seen your highs and lows and knows you dare I say....biblically. And can you maintain a relationship and this friendship at the same time?

Or is this just naive wishful thinking????

Sunday, February 7, 2010

When The Saints...Go Marching in!!

I am NOT a football fan! It is actually the equivalent to Chinese water torture for me. I do however have a large part of my heart that belongs to the great NOLA! I vacay'ed there in the Summer of 2007 and my heart has beein missing it's Creole cajun goodness and southern hospitality every since.

The charm, charisma, strength, and power of that city is undeniable. And to them I say The New Orleans Saints for winning Super Bowl XLIV (that would be the 44th ladies). And to celebrate here's one of my fave Louisiana artists and songs.....for what this city has been through I think the title and song is pretty fitting *muah*

Geaux Saints!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

These words are my own.......

Yes I haven't blogged in like two maybe three weeks. I know WTF is my issue?! A lot! Got sooo many plans and soooo little time. Anyhow excuses aside. I'm back with a ton of things planned for CGW.

With all this business and chaos in my life the 2 year anniversary of my best friends' death has just passed and she's been on my mind an awful lot lately. I miss you to bits and pieces Heather. I always want to call you when I've finally figured out something we were talking about, or see something funny, or when I'm having relationship issues and don't feel like being judged about the man I chose to love. So today I dedicate this song to you.....your ringtone......that you laughed at, but appreciated so much. I miss you...and I love you, I love you, I love you!


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