Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Things my Mama Taught me: Unheeded Good advice on Loot, Life, and Love Vol. I Pt. 2

Disclaimer: Though the last entry of "things my mama taught me" didn't get many comments on my blog it garnered a lot of support from my facebook and twitter family. I decided to make it a monthly "series" if you will. After all in my twenty-eight years on this earth my mom has given me plenty advice that I didn't take into consideration. I know I have enough to fill 2010. Enjoy!

When I was little my babysitter was my grandmother. So I amused myself by doing old woman things all day. We shelled peas, shucked corn, and watched old television shows. When I say old I mean "The Beverly Hillbillies","My Three Sons", "The Patty Duke Show" "Happy Days", and "Joanie Loves Chachi". The latter two being my absolute favorites. It gave me an idea of what life was going to be like when I (then four) became a teenager. I was fascinated with the pencil skirts, bobby socks, and the downright good old wholesomeness of it all.

Okay so it was a very wrong idea of what my teenage years would be like, but I thought it was pretty on point. I thought boys would take me on dates, buy me flowers, and chocolates, hold my hand, and depending on how much I liked them, at the end of the night I'd give them a kiss. On the cheek of course. Needless to say it never really worked like that. I never got my flowers or chocolates.I liked a few a little more than a lot. And gave away a little more than a cheek kiss. Which leads me to unheeded advice from mama part dos:


"Baby Sex and Love are two totally different things. As much as it seems like they go together perfectly one can survive without the other. Just because you love them doesn't mean they love you back."

Huh? No! WTF?! No mama say it ain't so! I love my boyfriend so because I do I have sex with him. And it makes him love me more. This you say can't possibly be true! LMAO Says my twenty-one year old self. I believed that love conquered all. And that sex was something you only had with those you love. Needless to say I also thought I had been in love already *smirk* I didn't know much.

What I did know was that I had a heart bursting full of love and I just wanted to get married at twenty one and clean house and push out babies and cook. Of course I don't feel that way now.
It took a few shake-ups and heartaches to understand that sex is a tool. Yes a tool. A tool to express love, desire, and passion. It can be used to manipulate, to hurt, and to dominate. Oddly enough it can be all these things in the same relationship. I had to run in my room and cry a few times before this all made sense. Thanks mom for the advice. Even when I didn't respond favorably.
"Not everyone you laying with loves you and not everyone you love you gonna lay with"


  1. Very well put! Keep doin your thing girlie!!!!!!!!

  2. Vee, this is AWESOME! I love your mama! She's a very wise woman. This is GREAT advice!

  3. Keep this section up, I think its great and its very well written!!! The thing is when your younger it doesn't matter what advice you hear, your going to listen to what you think your heart wants at the time. How silly we can be!!



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