However this road called love has not been easy. I have not always been happy and can't say that I'm very happy right now. We have faded out of each others lives a bit. Correction. A lot. We used to be under the same roof everyday. Now we dwell in two separate cities. With very little face time. And for a girl who needs not all, but a strong portion of her man's attention this is a no go.That's how I created the term Estranged boyfriend or E.B for short. Being away from each other has created a breeding ground for arguments, jealousy, frustration and tears. On both sides of the fence and it makes me wonder is this really all worth it.
" Love can be a many splendid thing can't deny the joy it brings a dozen roses diamond rings dreams for sale and fairy tales It will make you hear a symphony and you just want the world to see but like a drug that makes you blind it will fool you everytime The trouble with love is it can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie it's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is it doesn't care how fast you fall and you can't refuse the call see you got no say at all" - Kelly Clarkson "The trouble with love is"
So I have been occupying my time with "other things". Work, my pending move, a few scattered friendly dates, friends, family, and whatever else can hold my attention for a few minutes. It works for the most part. Till I'm alone, and then I just want my baby back. I'm not one too become too attached. I can handle breakups, hell I've suggested it NUMEROUS times, but this isn't a break up it's something different. Something chaotic, and completely out of place. This is NOT how it's supposed to be. And I need that old thing back.
"We been to strong for too long and I can't be without you baby and I'll be waiting up until you get home cause I can't sleep without you baby Anybody whose ever loved you knows just what I feel Too hard to fake it Nothing can replace it Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby"- Mary J. Blige "Be Without YouI miss coming home after a long day of work and complaining about my boss and coworkers. I miss jokes about my green smoothies, hours of late night sex, and cuddled up asleep all morning after. I miss our lives working together. I miss emotion, conversations, laughs, even arguments I miss...LOVE.
So there's this boy. And I love him. Like fat kids love cake, like sunsets, and roses, like a fierce shoe, a cooling summer breeze, a warm hug, or a glass of merlot after a long work day. Like all of those things. MAGNIFIED. Three times. And more. He stole my heart and has yet to return it. And I'm not sure if I want it back.