Friday, December 31, 2010

A new year........

Like this picture...let all the past of 2010 wash away and begin to write a new chapter in the sand...that in 2012 we will again wash away. Let the past be the past. Look forward to the future. And relish in the present. 
God Bless!
Have a happy and prosperous New Year!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Are you there God it's me Valecia

Dear God,

     I'm not exactly sure what I need to do to get this body, but I am more than willing to do it. Can you please help create and mold this for me please. This woman's name is Anowa Aadjah. She is referred to as the Nigerian Powerhouse. Now there is no need to make me Nigerian. I just want the body. Or one quite similar. Apparently she weighs over 200 pounds (such as myself), but we all know my body looks nothing like that.  I am sure that my 5'4" stature will make this no easy feat but I am willing to work on it. Since you created me you already know that I have a little over eight months until my 30th birthday. I need to be at least 50% there by then. Asking a trainer to do this for me would be stupid. But I'm not. I'm asking you. I mean really. You are God. You can do anything. Thanks in Advance. Here's another pic to get a full understanding of what I'm looking for.

  Thanks....I love you!                                                  

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I Resolve????

DISCLAIMER: We all do it. We tell ourselves every year around this time that we're going to run. Become vegetarians. Stop smoking. Spend less money. Go to church every sunday and become the best person we can possibly be. I've done that every year for at least twenty of my living years. I have told myself every year since I knew what a New years' resolution was that I will lose weight. Ummmm in my defense...sometimes I do. I just don't keep it off. I lose 35 and then gain 50. *shrugs* It's all a very difficult process. I save a thousand in my savings. Then blow it all on some bull shit that when it's all said and done I can't even show you what I spent it on. Resolutions are things we tell ourselves we are going to do in the upcoming year. I'm done telling myself what I will do next. Let's just start slow. How about I just tell the fat girl in the mirror about some of the wacked out shit she did in 'da ten that won't be tolerated once the ball drops. 

Things that are NOT welcome in 2011
(aka leave dat shyt at the door on 12/31/2010 at 11:59 P.M)

 1. Stop losing yourself in relationships.
           Ain't nothing wrong with putting one hundred percent of yourself into your personal (friendships, romantic, and family) relationships, but when shit hits the fan (and it can AND will) you should not be standing  mascara running, teary eyed, with a pill bottle in one hand and an empty bacardi bottle in the other. There is a reason these relationships started. And a reason they end. Rather than feel bad for yourself acknowledge how great you are and feel bad for the OTHER person. They may meet a lot of people before they die, but they will never EVER meet another princess. Another perfection. Another Valecia. If you really must feel a sense of loss. Quickly mourn the loss of someone in your life that wasn't fit to be there. R.I.P to the square that didn't fit your circle. You are no longer allowed to destroy yourself over a person when their are so many people who have yet to partake of the joy of knowing you. 

2.  Stop feeling bad for saying NO. 
      You got that angry black girl facade down pat, but the fact of the matter is you let too much go to heart. If you've given all you can give and decide to tell someone NO say it and keep it moving. Don't say no and give a muthafucka an explanation. Or say no and feel bad about it. How many times has someone told you no? You think they nappy headed asses lost sleep about it? Hmm....all signs point to NO!!!

3.  Stop belittling yourself. 
      No. You don't call yourself ugly. (Because that would be a flat out crime and sin) you do however wake up with just enough time to shower, jump your still half-wet un-lotioned body into work clothes, wash face, brush teeth, and bounce. Just barely making it to work. Standing at the bus stop with your foot half in your shoe. No eyeliner, no mascara, no lip gloss. Wig still needing some adjusting (but we'll take care of that at work in the bathroom). Looking like plain Jane's......older sister. Or worse. Her mama. After work coming home and changing into a holey pair of sweats, with matching holey tank top and let's not forget every black woman's favorite possesion......the infamous silk night scarf. And before you know it, you're headed to bed. Only to start the perpetual cycle of hot mess-ness for a new day. No one is going to love someone who doesn't love themselves. Stop acting like Hot mess when it's quite obvious you are Hot-ness. 

4.   Stop being the victim.
      You know the motto. You don't have time to wait for things to happen to you...when you're making things happen. 

I could have added a lot of shit. And not meant it. Like stop drinking. Stop eating red meat. The harsh reality is. The things in this list might be a hell of a lot harder to do than that. Whatever happens the tears and negativity that wrapped so much of this past year is being dropped. Thrown to the side to never be picked up again. A new adventure awaits. Blessings........

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Chrisette Michele - Goodbye Game

Not sure why this hit my heart today, but it just touched me on an already emotional day, during an extra emotional moment. I love Chrisette. Her voice is soooo real and heartfelt.

I'm playing the Goodbye Game........

Friday, December 24, 2010

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Line 1.

The phone......*ahem* the mobile phone. One of the best creations ever made. I won't lie I damn near live and die by my ability to use my blackberry. If I put my hand in my purse and I don't immediately feel it my temperature sky rockets. I like the majority of cell phone owners am addicted to the connectedness that comes with mobile access. I can text, chat, BBM, video chat, Facebook, tweet, and all kindsa shit. My ability to remain  in constant communication with the world is endless. I can connect with anyone. ANYONE. The world wide web coupled with the cool things these new fangled phones do is pure heaven for sneaky people and cheaters. The internet and a phone doesn't make a good person a cheater. It does however make a cheater a better and much more sneaky one. So with all that in mind.....I asked a few friends (by text of course).....

If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/boo/sex thang traded phones for twenty four hours would you still have a girlfriend/boyfriend/boo/sex thang?
 A few of my friends responded with the happy cheery...."oh but of course". Those are the kinds of responses that made me roll my eyes and almost throw my blackberry. You know what I'm saying. Those are the responses I got from girls whose men ain't about shit. You know we all got a friend with a sorry ass man. She knows it. Hell, the world knows it. But she expects you to pretend like he's reformed and pretend like he's a stand-up guy.  Those responses......I all out ignored. Then the REAL responses came. Some said yes....and I believed them. My married friend said her and her husband sometime mistakenly take the wrong phones in the morning. And never has she had an issue. No passwords hidden. No locks. No nothing. And then there were other answers, "Hell no! All my girls think they the only one" said one of my whorebag male friends.

 The most interesting response came from a coworker. She informed me that her boyfriend isn't even "allowed" to own a cell phone.
That's when I gave the WTF face.

 This required more than a back and forth text rapport. This was damn near a face to face interview. Or at least an after work drink session the next day. So over Linguini and Strawberry Limoncello Martinis she explained herself. " He isn't allowed to talk to bitches" she stated. "What does he need to have female friends for?" I already knew it was a question I need not answer. She controlled the relationship and his ability to go any further than 100 feet from his house or job. But she wasn't a saint. Her list of male suitors were lined around the block.

   I won't lie. I thought hmmm seems like a good idea. But honestly what real warm blooded brother (or man of any race) is really okay with being strapped with crazy rules and regulations. Honestly what woman of maturity and normal functioning brain capacity would be okay trying to set those kinds of restrictions on a man? Trust is a questionable thing. I don't toy with it. It's fragile. In today's day in age trust and relationship boundaries are far more gray than than the black and white way that seemed so much easier. On one side unshakeable trust makes an unshakeable relationship. But then again when did having a romantic relationship with someone mean that was an end to any possible personal space?  I'm sure my booski wouldn't be pleased at EVERYTHING in my phone. Or me with his, but that's why my phone is mine. And his is his. So...who knows what would happen if we switched phones. I just know for now......we won't.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

If you don't........get in the corner!!

I'm just having one of them days yall' I wanna tell a few people this. I know there's consequences and repercussions to stuff like that, but I mean if it don't get said.....these folks are gonna keep walkin' around thinking being a dummy is ok...these words speak to the masses if they hurt a little don't say anything to me. Simply straighten up and fly right. 

I am a server. The old school term is waitress. That does in no way or language translate to slave. If I'm busy and sweat is pouring down my face Do not. I repeat do not ask me to go get little Bethany a red crayon because she doesn't like orange ones. Do I look like the mutha *bleepin* crayon wrangler??? That's the kinda thing that will make my curly wig stick straight!! Here's a corner take a seat!!!

So I am "friends" with this former plus size porn star on facebook. Apparently she has changed her doggystyle ways, lost weight, and has a WHOLE lot on her mind now! Seems like she forgot who she was. You don't have a gang load of friends on FB because you're a super cool popular chick. You have friends because you used to do PORN sweetie! PORN!!! Ummmm girl please only two years ago you were eating 16 double whopper's with bacon before doin' the Akinyele (aka puttin it in ya mouth) on camera. Now you're talking about black women can't keep men because they are fat and sloppy and ranting and raving about women being hoes?? I mean seriously?? Obviously your mind set ain't very *cough* Crystal Clear! *throws her a dvd* here's a refresher of what you used to be bae!! Go watch that in the corner!!

Relationships are never easy. But if you find someone you truly love no matter what you're going through you should constantly show them that you love them. If not the next person will. Give them the good on the regular. Or the next person will. Compliment or the next person will. You have been warned. You could either cum with someone you love by choice or cum alone because you have NO other option. Ugh Go sanitize your hands and get in the corner!

Don't complain about what you can fix. Fix it or wallow in the despair that is that situation. One of my co-workers goes on and on about how horrible her *cough* (oooh I hate this term) "baby daddy" is. They are almost NEVER together, he doesn't actually "live" with her he's just there to watch the baby (yeah right), he hasn't had a job since 2007, and even then he was only the weed salesmen. Now with all the whining what does lil' miss do??? She gets knocked up again!! Ummm to the corner you go!!!

*Locks door with the dummies inside* wonder how long it will take for them to kill each other with their stupidity?? *walks off*

Friday, December 17, 2010

I've been missing you............

I know *extends hand for light hand spanking* I've been a bad blogger. However in my defense I have been working like a Hebrew slave, I moved, and I just got internet access to the trusty PC again. I will make every effort to NOT take this long ever again between entries. So.....enough groveling on my part. Let me recap my life!

* I am in love with my new gorgeous two bedroom (very empty) apartment. Everything is falling into place bit by bit. It took no adjustment to walk in. I immediately felt like I was at home. I finally got something I wanted and deserved. Valecia: 1 Disappointment: 0

* The braids are out. I have been contemplating and playing with the idea of going natural. I am currently four months post. Not sure what to do next. So many options. So many possibilities. 

* 244 days, 5858 hours, and 351496 minutes until I turn 30. I have a workout regimen to begin. A career to chase. And a destiny to fulfill. Hope you follow in the meantime. 

* Work. Slinging pancakes as always. Looking gorgeous in the process.

* Beginning to work on my book. Yes my book. It's a dream I've had since I was a child. Time to fulfill it.


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