I Resolve????

DISCLAIMER: We all do it. We tell ourselves every year around this time that we're going to run. Become vegetarians. Stop smoking. Spend less money. Go to church every sunday and become the best person we can possibly be. I've done that every year for at least twenty of my living years. I have told myself every year since I knew what a New years' resolution was that I will lose weight. Ummmm in my defense...sometimes I do. I just don't keep it off. I lose 35 and then gain 50. *shrugs* It's all a very difficult process. I save a thousand in my savings. Then blow it all on some bull shit that when it's all said and done I can't even show you what I spent it on. Resolutions are things we tell ourselves we are going to do in the upcoming year. I'm done telling myself what I will do next. Let's just start slow. How about I just tell the fat girl in the mirror about some of the wacked out shit she did in 'da ten that won't be tolerated once the ball drops. 

Things that are NOT welcome in 2011

(aka leave dat shyt at the door on 12/31/2010 at 11:59 P.M)

 1. Stop losing yourself in relationships.
           Ain't nothing wrong with putting one hundred percent of yourself into your personal (friendships, romantic, and family) relationships, but when shit hits the fan (and it can AND will) you should not be standing  mascara running, teary eyed, with a pill bottle in one hand and an empty bacardi bottle in the other. There is a reason these relationships started. And a reason they end. Rather than feel bad for yourself acknowledge how great you are and feel bad for the OTHER person. They may meet a lot of people before they die, but they will never EVER meet another princess. Another perfection. Another Valecia. If you really must feel a sense of loss. Quickly mourn the loss of someone in your life that wasn't fit to be there. R.I.P to the square that didn't fit your circle. You are no longer allowed to destroy yourself over a person when their are so many people who have yet to partake of the joy of knowing you. 

2.  Stop feeling bad for saying NO. 
      You got that angry black girl facade down pat, but the fact of the matter is you let too much go to heart. If you've given all you can give and decide to tell someone NO say it and keep it moving. Don't say no and give a muthafucka an explanation. Or say no and feel bad about it. How many times has someone told you no? You think they nappy headed asses lost sleep about it? Hmm....all signs point to NO!!!

3.  Stop belittling yourself. 
      No. You don't call yourself ugly. (Because that would be a flat out crime and sin) you do however wake up with just enough time to shower, jump your still half-wet un-lotioned body into work clothes, wash face, brush teeth, and bounce. Just barely making it to work. Standing at the bus stop with your foot half in your shoe. No eyeliner, no mascara, no lip gloss. Wig still needing some adjusting (but we'll take care of that at work in the bathroom). Looking like plain Jane's......older sister. Or worse. Her mama. After work coming home and changing into a holey pair of sweats, with matching holey tank top and let's not forget every black woman's favorite possesion......the infamous silk night scarf. And before you know it, you're headed to bed. Only to start the perpetual cycle of hot mess-ness for a new day. No one is going to love someone who doesn't love themselves. Stop acting like Hot mess when it's quite obvious you are Hot-ness. 

4.   Stop being the victim.
      You know the motto. You don't have time to wait for things to happen to you...when you're making things happen. 
        

I could have added a lot of shit. And not meant it. Like stop drinking. Stop eating red meat. The harsh reality is. The things in this list might be a hell of a lot harder to do than that. Whatever happens the tears and negativity that wrapped so much of this past year is being dropped. Thrown to the side to never be picked up again. A new adventure awaits. Blessings........

I resolve.....

Everyone makes New Years' resolutions....ok not everyone, but a lot of people. I have time and time again. Resolutions that I knew I couldn't keep before the words completely came out of my damn mouth. I said shit that sounded appropriate. As a fat girl everyone assumes that my first resolution should be to lose weight. So that's what I would say. I didn't necessarily NOT want to lose weight, but I made it sound like an absolute priority because other assholes felt as if it should be. I have many other issues in my life.

2010 New Years' Resolutions

I resolve to.....
1) Take better care of myself
a) More fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and water. Less red meat, pork, sugar, salt, fat, and fast food
b)More exercise
c) more sleep

2) Learn to LOVE ACCORDINGLY! The good Christian trait of loving unconditionally is great, but...... I tend to love unabashedly, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and with complete reckless abandon. I tend to be left holding the hurt box of feelings when friendships and other relationships fall to pieces. Not anymore. Love those with the same intensity of love you are given...I know it sounds crazy and almost impossible, but I'm 28. No need starting a new decade with hurt feelings again.

3)Become better with my finances
a)Come up with new, legal ways to make extra cash
b)Save more money and minimize unnecessary spending

4) Up The Presentation
I used to be really into my "look". I always felt as a plus size chick my presentation required a little more work. As the public already took points away upon meeting strictly on my weight. I used to be all about the flyness EVERY damn day. Flawless make-up, hair, shoes, and gear were mandatory. Now I have become.....lazy. I don't know if it's the idea of being in a relationship that makes me get fashion complacent or what, but I gotta step my game up. A few pairs a shoes, some nice tops, and a few hot pieces should set me back on track. Either way "It's all about presentation".

5) Get out more....
In the last say.....three years my job has become my life. OMG How did I let my life be ruled by pancakes I do not know, but it must change. I never go anywhere anymore. I must fix this immediately before I become...the old secluded cat lady.

I think that should be enough to keep me occupied the entire decade let alone 2010! I was thinking about adding "stop being a colossal bitch" on the list, but that's one of my fave characteristics. I wouldn't be me without it.

So what are YOUR Resolutions?