Monday, February 8, 2010

A Case Of The EX

So there's this guy and we used to date. For like 5 freakin years!!! It's what television talk shows call a tumultuous relationship. No matter how horrible things got (and it was pretty freakin' horrible) we would always find our way back to each other. Not anymore. Thank God, but it was what it was. Or shall I say it is what it is. Let's call the ex MASTER MANIPULATOR. Better yet MM for short.

So MM and I kept our distance for at least three years and in those three years I'm happy to say I fell in love with someone else. I love my boyfriend. Like fresh air, sunshine and life itself. But lately he has placed me on this list. This list of importance. I think I place tenth. Somewhere behind family, friends, his music, his laptop, liquor, fresh socks, twitter and discussions about the Illuminati and New World Order. I don't know if it's intentional or just a male oversight, but I have become pretty unimportant. Just recently a very "warped" friendship has been rekindled between MM and myself. Notice I didn't say love, romance, or relationship. Just a very odd friendship. And we both feed off of it.

He gives me advice on my current relationship. Let's me know when I'm just being a girl and overreacting, or when my emotions and reasoning seem on point. He checks on me when things are rough and he keeps it real with me. For the most part. I provide for him the same.

I don't know if any of you have ever been in a predicament such as this, but I notice I get my best relationship advise from MM. Yes he's a middle aged, womanizing, man-whore, jobless asshole. A liar and manipulator at it's finest (thus the name), but he knows me. And that was the relationship that brought me from naive college junior to GROWN ASS WOMAN. Opened my eyes to how hard love really is. Not only love, but life. Not only does he know me. Let's not get it twisted he knows I'm the SugarHoneyIceTea, but he also knows that ship has sailed. But he's seen the growth and changes I went through and he seems to be the best person to give me advice. He's supportive, cool, and on point. When I need him he's a phone call away. And there aren't many I can say that about. Which leads me to ask. Can exes become friends? Not "friends", but friends. It seems like the most obvious thing. Who can know you better than a person that's seen your highs and lows and knows you dare I say....biblically. And can you maintain a relationship and this friendship at the same time?

Or is this just naive wishful thinking????


  1. Now remember he's the MM and a mm for a reason. from your post, I get the understanding that he has and always will be a mm, right?
    Good thing he comes with benefits, though. For me it would, honestly, be hard to keep my guard up and prevent myself from falling victim/ becoming a repeat offender. Yeah, this would be hard for me because the mm would know my ins and outs...literally. On a dark day a man can sing you sunlight than BAM!

  2. I love my boyfriend and wouldnt dream of hurting him. I just wondered is maintaining this friendship possible?

  3. Girlfriend, you have A LOT at stake. For a second think of what-if. Any scenario you can think of...then think, would it be worth it? Do you think you've ever have to deceive your keeping a "special" friendship a secret or its history? My husband would probable loose the best part of his mind if knew I had emotional (not even physical) ties with another man. smh. Well...look at it from the outside. How would you want your boyfriend to respond to this (if he were in your shoes?)
    Chiiiiiiile, I would NOT trade places with you. This is deeeep!



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