Nicki and Em-Roman's Revenge

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly excited about the release of Nicki Minaj's first album, "Pink Friday". Yeah in ways I am sooo over her, but this track right here brought me back to life. I don't know what it is; the beat, the punch in the flow or just Em alone (cause honestly Mr. Shady can do NO wrong), but whatever it may be it has me reluctantly on the bandwagon again. Waiting with baited breath for November 22nd. Even thinking about rocking pink toes and fingers on release date. Eff I'm thinking....I'm just gonna do it. LOL Anyway without further chatter check out Roman's Revenge:

Confessions of a bitter Bitch: Should fatties get a room??? My response to the Marie Claire article

Disclaimer: I am not all that fashion forward. I purchase magazines that represent women like me. Like me meaning: African-American, young, working-class, and plus-sized. In my humble opinion Marie Claire doesn't represent the woman I am....therefore I don't purchase it. I do however feel a need to respond to what I consider is an attack on my person and persons like myself. I am aware everyone has an opinion, but that seems pretty effed up and hurtful. So I have no choice, but to respond. 

First and foremost if you have no clue what I'm talking about please read this first. 

Marie Claire's Mike and Molly Article

First I'm not sure who irritates me more in this situation. CBS for making this show, Mike and Molly which isn't a look into the romance of an overweight couple, but merely a vaguely veiled excuse to make fun of plus-sized people. Or Ms. Maura Kelly who simply described the overweight population as lazy asses who have put forth absolutely no effort to change their lifestyles. Or should I be mad at Marie Claire for printing this BS for the world to see? Eff it. I'm mad at all three. So let me break it down into sections. 

CBS

It would be one thing if you chose to make this a romantic drama or something worth watching, but a couple that meets at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting??? ummm seriously?? Filled with fat jokes??? are you serious?? Maybe ideas like this is the reason why I stopped watching CBS in like......the late eighties. This is a complete fail on your part. 97.1 Million people in the United States Of America are overweight. I'm sure out of that large number of people you are poking fun at one is at the very least the son, daughter, mother or father of someone on that set. Hell we know there is at least two overweight characters on set already. The two who chose to take the leading roles *rolls eyes* and I can't possibly begin to imagine what they were thinking. Well CBS I'm disappointed with you, but then again I don't really expect that much from you anyway. I'm not quite sure why I even acknowledged you. This either won't make it to the lineup or will be off the air quicker than you can say Walker Texas Ranger.

Ms. Maura Kelly

I'm confused as to why I even found this on your blog. From the side excerpt explaining it this blog was made solely for you to catalog your search for love. It also read that you are in your thirties and have never been in love. Hmmm I wonder why??? What does berating people have to do with you finding someone?? My fat ass has never had to catalog my lack of love life and datelessness. Wanna know why??? Because that has never been the case for me. I've always been wanted. Even if it was the wrong damn guy. I never searched for love. It came to me because I am a good, uplifting, positive kind hearted person. I care about the feelings of others and respect people's differences. Whether I weighed 185 or 265. There is some young beautiful plus size teenager who read those words and you could have very well crippled her self-esteem. I think what really rubbed you the wrong way was seeing two fat people kissing and in love. While you watched the episode while picking at a salad with no dressing, doing tricep dips on a chair and squats during commercials......ALONE. I understand health is important, but open your eyes. Everyone is supposed to be different. No one has to meet your requirements. And if I must say so myself I may be fat, but I look a hell of a lot better than you. According to all the comments left for you on your blog I'm sure the hurtful things said to you stung, but not as much as what you wrote. Maybe before you turn forty you'll get it right until then....I'll just pray for you. 

Marie Claire

If you are looking for new and exciting ways to ruin your readership keep Maura Kelly around, but if you want to tap into the wide market of overweight women and our hard earned dollars you need a new approach. Shame on you for giving such a bigoted woman an outlet to spew her BS. 

*steps down off her soapbox* So readers tell me what you think of her. Do you agree with her? I do understand everyone has an opinion I am just really turned off by her use of words. 

Weather, NOTW, and other randomness

So as we all know I broke up with my nail salon. Our tumultuous relationship ended when he could no longer produce the quality I so strongly desired....soooooo...I checked out another place. For the most part they did a fairly decent job. But the fact that I was the only chick in the salon minus the people that work there was a little strange to me. "Why yall jiggas ain't got no customers?" I was thinking in my hood girl mind voice. So far I give them a C. Can't quite explain why. They just didn't wow me. And it's a recession honey. For me to open my wallet and give you these hard earned waitress duckets the wow factor better be there. (And yes I did just use the term duckets, lol) So my NOTW (Nail Of The Week) is a color thats been hiding in my cabinet for about a year now. Worn maybe twice *shrugs* but it is the hotness........

China Glaze Tempest

a blue-silverish purple

It's a cute color, but then again not my signature color. I'm still in search and I'm not giving up. I actually wish I could find OPI's "You don't know Jacques" (The Suede Version), but *sigh* alas I think that was just a beautiful game played on me. I think that was Limited Edition. *sad face*

Tomorrow I go sign the paperwork on my new place. So excited I wanna scream. I actually contemplated buying a new outfit to go there in. Don't laugh I didn't. I simply said contemplated. 

If I haven't spoke a lot on it I live in Wisconsin. A nice place to live, but I have one huge complaint. Our weather. It's like sex. There's the nice, sweet, playful kind. The rough kind. And then the straight up rape. At 5:55am I left the house this morning to sixty degree weather and light rain. I didn't complain hell, it felt great. And I absolutely love rain, especially when the droplets were soothing the pain of my braids slightly pulling at my poor scalp. By 6:40 am wind was whipping at my face and I had been caught in a pretty damn hard rainstorm. By the time I left work at 2:00 pm. I t was a very windy, and a cold fifty degrees and a tornado had touched down just a mile from my job. Weather rape. The worst kind. Yet you will be a regular victim if you live in the Dairy state. Fall is tipping it's hat in these parts. And is making room for the dreaded winter. I just hope our move is done before the snow hits *fingers crossed*

I have 1000 blog topics floating in my head. Just have to get my thoughts together be patient with me. *muah*

Memories brought to you by Pandora.....

So as I headed to work this morning..Pandora played this little Gem for me Eagle eye cherry- "Save Tonight"......oh the late 90's.....how I miss you so.

b-b-braided up

Kinda like tatted up...only I can remove this ishhh whenever I's gets ready!

well I like them...correction love them, but ummm they kinda hurt a bit AND it took too long for an on the go chick like me AND I am NOT looking forward to taking these mamacitas out in January (That is if I keep them in that long).

I'm moisturizing my hair with my hodge podge concoction of ingredients all pushed into one spray bottle: Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Lotion, EVCO, Lavender JBCO, Grapeseed Oil, Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship Leave-in Conditioner, Peppermint Oil and Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Leave-in Conditioner It smells like heaven....hopefully all that moisture is making my hair underneath feel like butter. This will be the look until the new year...maybe. After that???? Another Sew-in perhaps??? The Halley's Curls Candy Curls has been calling my name, but we'll see until then..

LOve, Peace, and Hair Grease..lol

Family Matters.

I am not family-oriented. It's sad, but it's an honest statement. I don't have an unwavering bond with my family. Not like some. I mean we aren't strangers either, but I see the family bond quite differently from most. "Family is simply friends God picked for you", is what I would normally say. And honestly I truly believe it. The closest bond I have is with my mother. A relationship that with time has become strained and stretched to it's maximum. We are both stubborn, and headstrong and though we both love each other we can not and will not ever see eye to eye. It is what it is. I don't even know if I want to change it. I'm happy living this life semi-secluded. The older I get the bigger the wedge is in our relationship. My mother has changed. Drastically and not for the better. Don't get it twisted. She doesn't have a chemical dependency or anything. I just really, really dislike the person she has become. And rather than boost her show's ratings by sticking around and watching. I rather turn the TV off and let that shit get canceled. Soooo..... does that make ME a bad person?

.....love-whipping???? LOL

Between this.....

and this........

Little black girls and their hair are having the best week ever!!

I love it !!!

What's going on.....

So I've been blabbing so much about whatever has been on my mind lately that I haven't just updated about the "joy" that is my life.

*So the sew-in has been released from my head. LOL. I enjoyed it, but next time we'll upgrade the hair. I'm sure you're slightly confused by the pic to your right. No I did not chop my hair off and resort to a Teeny weeny afro. My hair is merely hiding in a ponytail and getting a bit of moisture and rest before it goes into micros next week. Pretty excited about the braids. I am however NOT excited about sitting on my ass for eight hours or more to get them done. But as I've posted before we all know Valecia is not a real fan of her own hair. I get excited to tuck it away, but I also get excited to see it's progress. *shrug*

* Ask the booskie I own a LOT of MAC Cosmetics. I mean an awful damn lot. But currently I'm in love with the Maybelline Natural Smokes Smokey Quad. (Used in the pic on the right) Who figured? I'm sure I could have saved a pretty penny had my makeup addiction started in the drug store first. Lately that's all I wear anyway.

*My current addiction is China Glaze Frostbite. Seeing that my life damn near revolves around working at the pancake house I thought it was cute that my nails matched my uniform. It was cute in the summer. Now I'm looking for a darker fall color. And I'm kinda mad at myself for not rocking for Audrey this spring/summer when I had the chance. Hmm.... any rustic fall color suggestions ladies? Also nail related....I'm breaking up with my nail salon. You may remember this haven of nail drama from my post  Confessions of a bitter bitch: The Nail Salon Edition on my last visit they did a extra scandalous half-assed job!! Mr. Old ass man did my nails this time. *sigh* he had the audacity to do my design while gabbing on the phone in some language unbeknown to me. That's service??? Not to mention I wasn't happy with the design. I can't stay where I'm not happy. So the break up was inevitable. Hmm like all relationships I'm sure he'll miss me when I'm gone.

* Fall is gorgeous isn't it?? Beautiful colors, cool, crisp, but not yet blistering cold. Pumpkins, apples, squash, brussel sprouts (laugh if you want to, but  get the best sprouts this time of year), cute fall sweaters, and boots. This is also the time of year where I spend a bit more time in my beloved Starbuck's...lol Everything looks pretty in the fall. Even the hood. LOL. As seen in the above pic. 

* Speaking of the hood..... Adios BITCHES!!!! The place Booskie and I wanted the most we were accepted for!!! I was so excited I cried. Literally. Big fat crocodile grown woman cry baby ass tears. I'm sooo ready to leave this crappy apartment. The new place is near my job, so much nicer, closer to my mom (without being too close), and.......close to the mall LOL. Due to the 30 day evacuation rules, guidelines and blah, blah, blah we can't move until December 1st. It's a bit of a wait till move day, but I see the mountain top. :) It's pretty fuckin' pricey. I mean I gotta sell a lot of fuckin pancakes for this bad boy, but it's worth it. Now the question is......whose hiring for holiday employees??? LOL

Throwback Thursday

In high school I was the token fat girl. Cute, funny and somewhat.....mean. But I had a fashion sense like none other. I rocked the grunge look. The B-girl look. The Diva look. I looked damn good everyday. The flyest fat girl J.I.Case High had seen. But ya know what?? I didn't have a lick of self-confidence. I had some girls in my clique that were lighter than me and quite questionable in attractiveness. Guys loved them. Fat, skinny, homely, smart, dumb as rocks, etc. I assumed it was because I was a dark girl. A black ass girl to be exact. It put a dent in my already low self-esteem. And then....foxy brown came out.

She was pretty, chocolate, sexy and just two years older than me. And every word that dripped off the "Ill Na Na" album were my freshman through sophomore. Something about that album made me walk taller, strut a little more and feel a little better about my dark chocolate self. The one that put the biggest sway in my step was.....




"Love thyself put no one above thee 'cuz ain't no body gon' love me like me"

The Grown folks Chronicles: If you don't stop lying....

Disclaimer: "I can't stand a liar and a thief", is one of the many repeated statements I heard from my mother as a child. I guess with time not only did it become obvious to me that she had a really good point, but I too began to live that motto. I can't stand to hear someone lie. Especially about shhh that they have no real reason to lie about. You know what I mean. The kind of lies that as soon as they finish the statement you give them that side eye and twist your lips and say, "Really?" when you wanna say, "Bitch stop lying". If you have a bit of tact you control yourself and simply think it. On a rather gutter hood day you may even speak it. But either way the shhh is very, very unnecessary. It causes you to tense your face up. You usually look something like this sista on the right. Which leads me to one lie I am soooo tired of hearing........

"Ugh that's nasty I don't go down"

I better not hear this come out of the mouths of anyone over the age of twenty-five who considers themselves to be partaking of a healthy and normal sex life. I just can't stand to hear this mess so stop. You mean to tell me that something that has been going on before cars existed and phones rang you don't do? Something was okay for your Big Mama and Paw Paw to get down with, but you're too good for it??? Trust me fellatio and cunnilingus (look it up boo!) is ancient. Don't believe me??? 

Men learn a little something.....

See??? 

Ladies get off that damn high horse....

Not to mention with a world as hyper sexual as ours who feels the need to hide such things? If you rather not divuldge of your sexual antics and prowess that's one thing, but to front like you're too good to take one for the team and drop to your knees???....*rolls eyes* child please. The fact is what you do is just that. What you do. But some of you just aren't going about it right. 

Case #1

 A former co-worker (we will call him Dante) worked with me at the local Supercenter back in the day. He was tall, southern, dark chocolate, somewhat attractive (in a Young Buck kinda way), early to mid thirties, and cornrows (the cornrows for me is an immediate no-go) he made it very clear (as sex was the normal conversation at work amongst blue collar employees) that he didn't go down on women. It wasn't that he was picky about the women he tongued down. He just flat out refused to go there. He also lived in his married cousin's basement. Well like all new meat he got passed around "ho-mart" and the female consensus was all the same......"ehh.... you can have him" From what I gathered his D-game was mediocre to okay. And his request for females to drop to their knees was not taken kindly. "But if he would have licked it...I might have called him back", was the response I got from my female co-workers who dared to test drive him. And because he didn't he stayed his grown ass in another grown ass man's basement. I wonder did the sounds of his cousin getting it in with his wife regularly ruin his sleep. LMAO.

Case #2

I must be honest. At 21 I was a college junior, full-time employed, had a cute little Cavalier (smh yeah I know), and my own apartment. By all means I thought I was the ishhh. Somehow I became entangled in a relationship with man thirteen years my senior. He had a body like an Adonis, but enough kids for his own basketball team with two subs on the bench. He lived with his mama and watched 106th and Park like he was  on the JV football squad. For all logical reasons he was a loser and we weren't even close to being on the same level. But he gave me the tongue lashing of a lifetime and he couldn't get rid of my ass for years. And dammit I was more than willing to reciprocate. The sex to me was spectacular (then), but of course I was twenty-one and didn't know any better. Now I look back on it as mediocre sex. But spectacular head. Apparently it was so good it all just kinda mushed into one good event. 

See what I mean?? See how much head can make a difference?? 

 Enough about those that straight up do or don't and are honest about it. 

If you don't your sexual life will never be as fulfilling as it could be. Fight me on it if you want, but the truth is the damn truth. If you do then.....keep doing it. Just please be selective. 

 Now to those that do and lie. Ummm why? No one believes you. I mean no one. Not even your minister, a judge, hell yo mama and Jesus don't believe you. So just admit it. It's not about telling your business. It's about being honest. It's not necessary to say, "I suck better than Lethal Lipps". You could just keep your fucking mouth closed. No grown ass man/woman has to deny what they do behind closed doors. And as my gram used to tell me..

"If you gotta lie about it you ain't got no business doing it"

Get Big Remix

 I must admit I was NOT effin' with Dorrough until I heard Get Big....but the Remix??? Yeah Baby!!!

Day 30

Your favorite song

I have many many many favorite songs, but when I tried to think it through this came to mind first.....

Fragile by Miss Chrisette Michele feat. Wale

I think it safely describes my take on love, dating, and relationships.

Day 29

In this past month, what have you learned

• communication is the key. When I stopped yelling and getting belligerent things started going my way a bit more. 
• I have one of the greatest traits in life. I bounce back easy. I don't let anything get me down. For long.
• I have a tendency to want to argue a person down when they are wrong. This month I did something that's normally not me and it worked. I ignored the @#$% the ishhh out this chick and that got my point across much quicker. LOL. That broad wanted to pull a serious Justin Timberlake (aka cry me a river) and that's exactly how it should be. 
• That loving Valecia is a full-time job. I can't expect anyone to take it on, but me. Punching in at times is rough, but the check is so fulfilling.

Day 28

A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

October 2009

I have seen a year of heartbreak, tears, falling down, picking myself up and redemption. The woman I was twelve months ago is quite actually the SAME woman I am today. Just with a little bit more of a story to tell. My experiences are like that of any other young woman. I have learned in this year that I have the hardest shell at times, but I am a very emotional being. I will give my all, but when I give up. I give up. 

As far as the slightly trivial. In this past year I have been Suze Orman "god-like" with my finances. Not a day of struggle, need or want. Even when I was trudging in the cold and snow last winter in public transportation my bank account was bigger than it had been in like....EVER!

I will say the girl in the above picture is a bit healthier than the one pictured below. November of last year is when my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) I must admit since then I haven't done much to make my life in connection to this "issue" easier. I didn't ask about possible hormonal medications or start a weight loss regimen to subside some of my symptoms. I just continued to live my life. Ignoring it. Needless to say that hasn't made the situation better. I have actually gotten heavier. I'm working on those issues. I's all about self-control and drive. 

Other than that. The girl above and below are truly blessed. Every good or bad thing that has taken place in my life these past twelve months has only made me that much more stronger, better, smarter, and beautiful for the next 12 months. So to respond in my normally twisted way. How have I changed in the past year???
By leaps and bounds. But yet very very little. 

October 2010

Cee-Lo.

LMAO Cee-Lo Green is da ishhhh and this video is too! Only this man could sing a eff you song that is this pleasant. 


"Although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best, but Fuck you"

Day 27

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge


 I love to blog. Honestly I do. But sometimes I run out of ideas or I get in front of the computer and forget the kick arse idea that I came up with just hours ago at work. Then my blogging goes from daily, to weekly, to monthly and that is not good. I did the 30 day challenge to keep myself on a schedule (though I didn't stick to it the way I would have liked) . It has allowed me to be more consistent with my blogging. And be consistent with a purpose. And I have taken time to get all my thoughts and blog ideas ready for after these thirty days are over. It has really helped. I suggest all bloggers do it. 

Day 26

What you think about your friends


 I love my friends I wish we were closer, but then again the space between us makes it that more enjoyable when we do spend time together or talk together. We have all grown into different women with very different points of view. But that's what makes us so interesting. 

In search.......

I have been on the hunt for the perfect apartment for weeks.  Grrrrr.....it has NOT been easy whatsoever. With my sad little car going to car heaven after only owning it for four effin' months I am now clean across town from my beloved job and family at the pancake house. The beau wants a crazy amount of space. I want quiet and a peaceful neighborhood. Or at least where police are close-by and willing to come in seconds...not hours. And.....in our price range. Being a waitress is.....so topsy turvy. I can make an arse-load today and just enough for a fill and design tomorrow. So it's easier for me to say I make ehhh about $500.00 a week. But it scares the beelzebub out of me to pay $600.00 for rent or more. I know you're thinking Huh??? But what about after the holidays when everyone is broke and no one wants to eat in restaurants...will I be able to pay then? I have never bitten off more than I can chew. But it's far time to NOT have a crappy, subpar, or even okay apartment. It's time splendid grandiosity I'm just scared to get over my head it in all. So the search continues and .......we're down to the wire.