Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Video Premier

I haven't honestly cried over a video in a long damn time. This made me ball. It makes you wonder about all the trivial and even not-so trivial things we go to war about daily with our lovers. Take a moment to overlook the arguments and flaws and make sure they know they are loved.

We don't know how long we'll be lucky enough to have them.

P.S. Much respect and gratitude goes to our many men and women fighting in the armed forces for the freedoms we so easily overlook. God Bless you all!


The chick who did this wins bad bitch of the year award in my book..LMAO! I'm just saying! Nothing I would be brave enough to do, but deserved nonetheless. Argue with me all day, but here's my take. A heart is a very valuable possession. Vandalize mine if ya want to, but paybacks will be a-coming LOL. This is classic like white reeboks!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Love and the unsatisfiable man aka you expect me to do what????

DISCLAIMER: This is going to get just a little personal. So if you know me personally try NOT to discuss this with me it's the feelings I am more than willing to share with the world that I just refuse to talk about one on one....weird?? I know. Deal with it. This is what I think and feel. There's a comment box for your opinion, but yet and still I'm Chocolate Girl Wonder and this is my proverbial soap box. I stand on it all alone. *smiles*

"Why don't you love me when I make me so damn easy to love"
                                                    -Beyonce Knowles-Carter

I've heard the stories about what it takes to keep a man. It requires being a good woman. I do a good job with that. I have my own job. Yes it's not a career, but it pays my bills. I am smart. I have my own place. I'm loving. Supportive. Pay my own bills. I can cook. I can clean. I have a relationship with my Creator. I have my own car. I'm fairly attractive. I have common sense. I'm not embarrassing in public. I try to be a great accent to my man's life. Not a nuisance. I know the role of the woman and I play it well. Oh.....and don't be fooled by the size 18 jeans. My sex game is vicious. Yeah you read that right ....VICIOUS!! Yet and still I find myself in the same love rat race as my friends who have not a clue. I get the idea that these men...... *gasp* want more. 

I have yet to figure out what the more is. I just came to the conclusion that a woman can be everything that she should be to her significant other and yet and still that simply isn't enough to keep him happy. Whether it be a roaming, hand, eye, and/or penis or just sheer restlessness when they get the girl that fits their mental list they don't know what to do with her, that is except make more requests. And women...we attempt to cater. Why??  We tend to bend over backwards to ensure a relationship rather than be single.  Or we oblige out of love. So we continue to try in vain, because the list NEVER seems to be fulfilled. But the real questions remain unasked. While you're jumping through hoops. Do these men really meet your requirements? I have found myself jumping through hoops for men who have proven themselves to be abusers, cheaters, manipulators, and all around losers. All for the name of love. All for the idea of finding the ONE. Never making any of them jump through hoops. Just expecting them to be the kind-hearted, smart, head-strong good man they seemed to be in the beginning while *sigh* alas getting no results. But I'm still scrambling eggs, while showering and somehow giving head all before I head out the door at seven in the morning. (Sorry for the unnecessary visual, but you get my point) All so I can still not be enough. 

Is this an excuse for men to not settle down, to not commit, to not marry, to not mature. Is this what we as females have to live with? Or is it simply what we deal with? When we expect more we will get more. Or better yet we should lengthen our list of requirements. Maybe we should be waking up to some scrambled eggs and head, and know that it's NOT a power thing, or a demand issue, or doing it out of fear of singledom, but out of true love and the desire to cater to each others needs. The equation is simple an Unsatisfied man = an unsatisfied woman. So we all know what a happy woman equals...... a very happy man. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Excuse me while I spaz out: Keepin' it Real aka I keeps it 100

I blame this bogus term partly on the hip-hop community. If I hear someone say keep it real one more time my head might cave in. The fact of the matter is the people who scream about keeping it real lie more than a rug. Examples???
"This is the realest shit I ever wrote" -Young Jeezy

So what was the rest of your album?? Fluff? Bullshit? Garbage? A complete and utter lie? Or are you saying that it was real, just not as REAL as the aforementioned written rhyme? Hmm... I wasn't aware that their were degrees of realness. I was under the impression that it was either the truth..or a lie. Good thing I know how to think for myself. If we could get our kids to read a book instead of watching wack ass Terrance and lame ass Rocsi on 106th and Park everyday they would be able to differentiate the fantasy from reality. Let's help out a bit. 

Everything in a video ain't real

 Video vixens (we'll use the nice term) get paid to be in these videos. Some (and notice I use the term some) of these women are successful and quite intelligent in their own right. Do you really think they want the likes of...say FABOLOUS?

That's a negative Boo... the beautiful Ki-toy Johnson owns her own company..take that...

Artists make the majority of their money doing shows. Half of the shyt they rap about owning is something they got for FREE simply for being an entertainer. Either that or....they save their pennies (doubtful). They invest. Or they dumb asses are in debt. I typed three words on google. Rappers. Homes. and.. Foreclosure. I got back...... Dame Dash. DMX. Xzibit. Doug E. Fresh. Wyclef Jean. Just to name a few. It's all about perception people. They want you to see them as something they are not. So let's begin the process of heading back to the REAL version of keeping it real. Or let's use it's original term, Honesty.

People are willing to kill, steal, and ruin the lives of our people for an image. To impress people on this earth that aren't worth impressing. So let me be the first person to hit you with some honesty.

 I am a waitress for a living. My money is not long and I don't claim to be balling out of control. I can pay my bills on time and put gas in my tank. If I want some four hundred dollar weave, bad ass purse, or much needed vacation I'm turning to Well fargo online to help me save for it. Or I'm looking for a second job. Anybody wanna pop shyt about it, be my guest, but that's my 100. That's me.....keeping it real. Try it amongst yourselves.

You better work!!

Oh wow....Ms. Jackson you did that!
So what do you guys think? I think it looks pretty damn hot on her.
I am on this short hair phase AND..
then again when you're Janet you can do whatever the hell you want to!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Are you a winner??

So ready for something else in my life.... something new, better, hot, empowering....I'm ready to...WIN!

Excuse me while I spaz out: An Army of one

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and dammit there ain't no sugar and water around just suck on them bitches, until the lemons are gone. You have to just push through the bad situations until it's over. Yes it will leave a bad taste in your mouth. But trust me it is nothing that you can't handle. If life handed me it's sweetness all the time I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. However sometimes you don't want to be the strong one. Sometimes I don't want to be the one that talks it out. I don't want to be the rational one. I don't want to be the classy one. I want to pull my ponytail back, take off my earrings, put Vaseline on my face and kick ass. Or cry, kick, and scream. Some days I want to be irrational. Like make a list of hoes that have an ass whooping coming there way, fill up my gas tank, drive around and check off the list all day. Or drink a bottle of Merlot and give someone the bottle.....literally right up against their wig-piece. Or whine, bitch, moan, and cry like all my co-workers do about the random shit in their lives. I want to feel as if I'm so damn important that the axis should cease to exist and the world should stop spinning for me. I want to be inconsiderate to people's feelings, become a compulsive liar, or a consistent cheater. I want to cheat on almost every person I've been with and STILL have them love me like I've been the greatest woman to ever enter their life. I want to be all that's fucked up with the world sometimes. Just to see why people are the way they are. But yet and still I can't, Because I'm strong. It takes a lot to be an army of one.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dipped in........

Well unless you're an uber moron you already know that I'm a dark chocolate girl. Not chocolate, but Dark chocolate. and proud. So it was only a matter of time before I posted the dark skinned girl anthem. I really like the song I just don't necessarily like the combo. I mean Lil' Jon, R. Kelly, and Mario?? WTF Where have you three been anyway? It's like a D-list montage *kanye shrugs*, but nonetheless it's for me and my chocolate sistas.....STAND UP!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

In search of the five letter word.........

DISCLAIMER: I'm a believer in love. Love and a good wholesome, healthy, honest relationship has ALWAYS been my goal. As I get closer and closer to thirty I look at the relationships I'm surrounded by, and the things I've experienced and wonder.....where is the healthy BLACK relationship? Where is the five letter word? What word you ask???? Trust. Most relationships don't have it. Or they make a mockery of it, or better yet someone in the relationship (maybe even on both sides) has done something to destroy it. But when it's been destroyed is it possible to rebuild it?

Trust may refer to:

I don't consider myself to be naive.  I look at every side of a situation before I jump into it. I acknowledge the pros and cons, but I'm always hopeful that they will land on the positive side of the fence. My trust in a person doesn't happen magically overnight. They have to prove themselves to be trustworthy. In the case of a relationship a man would have to be honest with me on every level to gain my trust. Or at least make me believe he is honest. When situations arise that lead me to believe that he is not the trust begins to dwindle away. I may not say a word to him about it, but everyday thereafter my trust in that man will be drastically altered. I have never made an effort to rebuild before. I just let it dwindle until I walk out and give up. I've given up on a lot of people. Mainly for small mistakes. Now that I'm feeling the need to give it ANOTHER chance I'm on uncharted territory. So I guess I need to know.....

How do you REBUILD trust?
Or better yet...can you? I have heard of couples trying and it not working. I understand why. When a person has been wronged, neglected, or hurt it is hard to pretend like it didn't happen. It's hard to not be apprehensive about it happening again. We all forgive. NO ONE truly forgets. So after you know a person is capable of that is love truly enough to make you put what pieces are left back together and give it another try?

Love is strong it helps you endure some tough situations, but I know you can love someone and not trust them. It's a fucked up place to be, but it is very, very, very VERY, possible. It's not a happy place to be. I had a boyfriend years back that I loved with a fiery passion. I also had such a lack of trust in him I followed him in the bathroom when he pee'd. Yes, I'm serious. I wouldn't do that now, but that was the situation then. Needless to say after the a few bathroom trips with me sitting on the edge of the tub and he was outta there. How the fuck do you start over...with someone you already know anyway. I'm sure someone has done it before and made it work...I wish I could find that couple and ask them some questions?? Your answers are always welcome on this quest......

Alicia Keys-Unthinkable

ok I know I posted the song already, but the video was pretty interesting so.....let's revisit...shall we???
So what do yall think?????

Monday, May 10, 2010

A day for stormy weather......

Beauty. Class. Elegance. Poise. Talent. Success. Lena Mary Calhoun Horne represented all of these things. Unfortunately she was taken away from this world last night. She died at the age of 92. Ms. Horne (born June 30, 1917) joined the chorus of the world famous Cotton Club at the age of sixteen. After honing her craft as a nightclub performer she ventured off to Hollywood where she took on movie roles. Horne eventually found herself black-listed by expressing her leftist political views. She was unable to find work in Hollywood. She returned to her original passion. Song. She went to the Broadway stage in 1981 with her one woman show, Lena Horne: The lady and her music. She also performed for a greater part of the 1990's. One of the greats has now left us. May her memory live on.....this is truly a sad day.....a day for Stormy Weather.

I want to be..FOREVER YOUNG!

I don't know if you got a chance to check out diva comedienne extraordinaire Miss Betty White this past weekend on SNL, but she fuckin rocked it!

She hosted while the infamous Jay-Z did a medley of his hits. My feelings about Mr. Carter???? ehhhhhh He freaked me the fukk out with his "On To The Next One" video a little bit much so....I don't fukk with him anymore. It gave me nightmares. Only 2 videos before did that. Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" and Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" anywho....I just hope I am as on point as Ms. White was when she hit that damn stage. Some people have it and as time goes by they simply lose it. Ms. Betty??? She never lost it.....and shows us that we better keep up with her.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dear Future Husband,

Dear Future Husband, 

      You don't know it yet, but you will be going on the most amazing ride of your life. With the perfect companion in me as your wife. I am a handful. I have ridiculous fits of anger and tremendous amounts of love. They can both be given simultaneously. You may think that's impossible, but wait and see. I can be messy, argumentative, with a mouth like a sailor and a liver like one too. I like Sex and The City, pink anything, and taking pictures. I get distracted easy and I tell the same stories often. I have an unhealthy addiction to weave, I have a wig collection, and I'm a college dropout. I'm a hard worker. My uppity Leo ways means I will demand that you treat me like a Queen, but I will ALWAYS treat you like a King in return. I procrastinate. I'm fun to be around. I'll make you laugh. But I will push your buttons in a way you never had done before. I could very well make you want to punch me and kiss me passionately all at the same time. I love makeup. I'm 45% tom boy. 55% girly girl. I can be a downright bitch. Not simply for the sake of being one, but when provoked. I will stand by you when the world and logic tells me to walk away. I am over analytical. I drive like a bat outta hell. I'm kinda hairy and slow on the upkeep. I'm honest. I'm emotional. I want to celebrate Valentine's Day, our birthday's and our anniversaries. They mean EVERYTHING, So please don't overlook them. I'm not clingy, but I require a certain amount of attention. I like Tiffany jewelry, but if you give me a candy bracelet I'd cherish it just the same. I need regular compliments. Even when I wake up looking a mess. I'll be your most passionate kiss, your best sex, and your strongest ally if you promise to never let another in the middle of what we have. I will be your loudest cheerleader, but I can be your biggest critic. I have a jealous streak a mile long, but if you give me no reason to question you. I give you know reason to expose it. Never stop being proud to call me your woman. I in return will never stop being proud to call you my man. I can cook. I just won't do it daily. Depending on which day it is I MIGHT want babies. There will be days when my emotions get the best of me. When I clam up, just hug and kiss me. That will make it all better. I get irate at the idea of liars. I'll resent you if you are one. I will be everything you ever wanted, and a few things you didn't. I'll always speak from the heart even if the words might sting. I am sappy and a romantic. Yet and still I can be a ticking time bomb. All of this......simply in the name of love. Whether its a court house or a filled cathedral be prepared. Not for a second, minute, hour, or day. Be prepared for this breathless, intense, and chaotic love......for a lifetime. Loving you....whoever you are and wherever you may be. 

                                                                                                                   Love Always, 


could we do the unthinkable??? Hmmm

as much as lil miss homewrecker makes me cringe this song is soooo hypnotic...if you ask me I'm ready.....


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