Excuse me while I spaz out: An Army of one

Sometimes life hands you lemons, and dammit there ain't no sugar and water around so....you just suck on them bitches, until the lemons are gone. You have to just push through the bad situations until it's over. Yes it will leave a bad taste in your mouth. But trust me it is nothing that you can't handle. If life handed me it's sweetness all the time I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. However sometimes you don't want to be the strong one. Sometimes I don't want to be the one that talks it out. I don't want to be the rational one. I don't want to be the classy one. I want to pull my ponytail back, take off my earrings, put Vaseline on my face and kick ass. Or cry, kick, and scream. Some days I want to be irrational. Like make a list of hoes that have an ass whooping coming there way, fill up my gas tank, drive around and check off the list all day. Or drink a bottle of Merlot and give someone the bottle.....literally right up against their wig-piece. Or whine, bitch, moan, and cry like all my co-workers do about the random shit in their lives. I want to feel as if I'm so damn important that the axis should cease to exist and the world should stop spinning for me. I want to be inconsiderate to people's feelings, become a compulsive liar, or a consistent cheater. I want to cheat on almost every person I've been with and STILL have them love me like I've been the greatest woman to ever enter their life. I want to be all that's fucked up with the world sometimes. Just to see why people are the way they are. But yet and still I can't, Because I'm strong. It takes a lot to be an army of one.