Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Things my Mama Taught me: Unheeded Good advice on Loot, Life, and Love Vol. I Pt. 3

Disclaimer: This segment has always been called, Things my Mother Taught me, but this one right here. This life altering advice came from both of my parents. It's the reason why I'm standing tall today. My dad (R.I.P) was as big a part of my life as my mother. Unfourtunately he never lived to see his hard work grow. Miss you daddy.

I work and will work anywhere. Any job is a job as long as it's legal and I can go to bed with my morals still in tact. I don't knock a stripper,  or even a "call girl" for that matter. Work is work and whatever pays your rent is YOUR business. Morals are a personal matter. What is okay for others is too much for the next. All that was said to get to:

Lesson 3: Independence aka "No one will take care of you better than you do yourself"

Let me back track a little and give you a small dose of family history. I am my mother's only child and I'm my dad's youngest and only girl. That combination allowed me to get everything I wanted as a little girl. I do mean EVERYTHING! One day out of the blue he handed me a gift boxed wrist watch and before I could get the box out of his hand he tugged on it a little tighter. He looked me in the eye and said, "I'll always do for you, because I'm your daddy and I love you don't expect another man to take care of you make sure you take care of yourself". At the age of five that was a lot to take in, but I always remembered it.

My dad passed away when I was seven, my mom who always treated me like an adult sat me down and discussed finances with me. I was a pretty hot at math so she had me add up all her paychecks for a month then subtract it away with all the bills. Yep, there wasn't a lot left. However she took what she had and made magic with it. Everyday, week, month, and year. She made magic out of what she had. I never went without clean clothes, good meals or anything else. If that meant her ten year old got a new pair of Levi's and she wore a Hanes sweatsuit she did it.
Which leads me to the way I live my life. I have been raised by two very hardworking self-sufficient people. Who showed me how much hard work pays off. I am not a gold-digger and I have never asked for anything from a man in my life.

I watch shows like "The Bad Girls Club" and look at broads like Natalie and wonder is some misguided young girl watching this and thinking that she'll become rich and be on television by laying in bed with an athlete? Why not have the dream to actually
BE the athlete? Or Hell the person that owns the station?

I once had a twenty-two year old associate (who was pregnant w/ second child) tell me she only dated ballers. She also worked as a factory worker and occasionally stole toilet paper from her job. Question of the day: Why the hell would a baller want her? If I was rich I would want to associate with other rich people and talk about rich things. My boyfriend and I would go rich places and make love on rich sheets. Not date non-rich people and make them rich by romantic association. I can't discuss bad day of tips with my pediatric surgeon boyfriend! It just seems wrong! Bad combo!

But better yet there's this sense of pleasant entitlement when I pay my electric bill and have ten dollars for the rest of the week. Why? because I did it myself. No one paid that bill, but me. No one helped me, just like Daddy said it would be and that's just fine by me.


  1. Amen to this. I think to myself why don't people strive for more in their lives. I remember seeing this thing on Tyra where these girls were saying they would do ANYTHING to be on TV. I was digusted at the things they were willing to do just to be on TV. Instead of working hard and taking care of themselves.


  2. I agree, great post. I also learned at a young age that no one is going to love you (or take care of your stuff) as much as you love you! That was a profound lesson too. I grew up very similar to you as my mother's only child and my fathers youngest (until he went and had 2 more, sheesh). But it was nothing like you described. My mother was horible with money and the lights would get cut off and everything.BUT she wasnt even out here balling.. she just forgot to pay it.. So my lessons were by example. I was NOT going to be like that.. I was gonna pay my bills.. and be broke, BUT, I would have a roof over my head and be able to drive my car (even if I was only going around the block OR to work!)

    sorry so long.. but great reflection!



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