Sunday, March 21, 2010

The art of jealousy

Disclaimer:  I am not talking about petty jealousy as in wanting what someone else has. I have never been one to covet. Or better yet I'm not one to be a hater. If something good happens for someone else I am more than happy for them. That form of jealousy ain't never been my style. I'm talking about jealousy in the things that matter... in our relationships. That's where I have to be honest with myself. *right hand raised* Hello, my name is Valecia and I am guilty of *pause.....wait on it* relationship jealousy. Not being jealous of the relationships of others, but having massive bouts of jealous fits in my own. I admit to it, but the interesting thing is....I am not by any means trying to change.

I have had enough life experience to know that things don't always go your way. Especially in relationships. I have climbed some mountains and rolled my ass through some valleys that I care not mention specifically. I'll just say it like this...I learned through on the job experience. That has made me generally leery of certain issues in relationships. Like for instance female friends (hate, grrr loathe them!) So I have things that strike a chord in me. I won't say I occasionally let jealousy rear it's ugly head. It's always out. Out looking for something to be jealous about.

Now I have heard people say things like if you go looking for something you will definitely find it. I don't search through phones or emails. I feel that is a massive invasion of privacy. Something that I don't want being done to me. I do look at myspace friends, facebook statuses and comments, and exactly who he maybe tweeting. I make my assumptions from there and will confront or place my snide comments about it out there just to let him know what I'm thinking. I think that is all okay. Some may say no, but for works. I have a little jealous streak and I feel it is more than ok. I know where and when to draw my line. I have no desire to look like crazy psycho girl friend.


 Well she's the girl who has no limits to her jealousy. She will go through a cell phone while he's asleep, read his emails, curse out innocent chicks, possibly go upside her man's head all over an assumption. She may have even had the police called on her a few times concerning her "domestic antics". If she's advanced in her psych-dom she could have very well threatened someones life. She has no self-control. None. In my opinion a woman like this tends to grow to be "the cat lady",  because no man would put up with that shit for ever. Or...... she may eventually find a man, but he has no backbone kinda like my guy here Cleveland...

As my babycakes puts it: "You're jealous, but a healthy jealous". Some may disagree with it but jealousy is kinda like drinking. It really isn't all that great for you, but in moderation it's ok. If you don't watch your intake it can definitely grow into it's own monster...with all that being said...what's your opinion?

Is jealousy normal in relationships? And what constitutes as too much jealousy?


  1. Jealousy is normal...I suppose. I was always told that if you are secure with yourself and your relationship then jealousy won't be an issue. I was also told that love doesnt equal to jealousy. In my current relationship, I haven't had that green eyed monster rear it's ugly head. I've been quite happy and comfortable, even with the distance, in regards to trusting him. I see updates and I see girls flirt with him on fb and it honestly doesn't bother me. Him on the other hand, some things bother him. I have trust issues, but this time around, I wanted to do things differently and NOT be the crazy jealous girl that I knew I could be in my last relationship.

  2. You described jealously well. It's like most of our other emotions that serve a purpose, but which we have to hope won't totally overcome our common sense and wind up being way over the top.



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