Girl Crush......

Ms. Amber Riley

 and the pictures explain it all!!!

Gold digging 101

You've heard the term tons of times. Hell Kanye made a song about it. Gold digging is synonymous with prostitution (kinda) they go hand in hand. On several occasions I have had exes date questionable women. When I say questionable I mean when I think of what the hell he could see in her I'm stuck with this face.

 You know the type. Sloppy. Unattractive. Dumb. Uncouth (yes a bitch said uncouth), basically just a run of the mill (insert Lil' Duval line here) basic bitch. I can't speak for any other woman, but that shit bothers me. To no end. To the point where I have to be me and pick up the BB, facebook, hop on twitter or whatever way hell pigeon if need be and contact this lousy ex. The convo generally goes like this:

ME: hey I'm sure you don't wanna talk to me and I really don't wanna talk to you, but I gotta quick question

EX: Nahhh it ain't like that what's up ma?

ME: Since there is no better way to put it...what the phuck do you see in this bitch???
EX: What bitch??

ME: You know what bitch ya girlfriend the ugly, dumb one. It must be good sex or good convo or something!

EX: *laughs* Nah it ain't none of that. Honestly She buy me whatever I want.

ME: *after a 5-10 second pause* Well damn I can't compete with that. I was just wondering bye.

There is a skill to everything.  Golddigging included. Most women have it all down pat. I have been blessed with gifts by many male "courters" as my grandma would say. But I have never asked for anything, nor did I ever come to the table expecting anything, or did I have to "pay" for the things given to me. It's the male gold diggers that are fucking the game up. "Falling in Love" with these hoes the week before they get their W-2's and falling out of love with them right as them steak dinners transform back to hamburger helper dinners again. When the H & R Block card runs outta steam so will Lil' mama's love life. Men tend to get hearts and emotions all involved. When emotions get involved people get hurt. Emotionally. If it's me....hell maybe even physically. I bust heads about my feelings. Shid. In this being Gold digging season (tax time). A refresher course seems fitting. Take a pen and paper and let me show you how it's done.  

Rule #1 Have an understanding. 

I am a chronic dater. I date when I'm single and I date when I'm in a relationship. As in date others. I don't like to be stuck in the house all lonely so if some guy wants to ask me out to dinner and some drinks and my boyfriend is being an ass will I turn him down? No. Will he think he has something coming in return? Quite possibly. Will I set the record straight? Ya damn skippy. And I will still have a great date. Why cause I let them know what the situation is. They respect it. Not only do they respect it. I have never had a man ever get mad and refuse to pay or catch an attitude and bounce. Why? I make it clear from the gate that I don't need or want a damn thing. So them not footing the bill won't make or break me. Hell so you took me to Dave and Buster's? What the phuck do you expect? I create a balance of honesty. Either you want me for my great company and infectious personality or ya don't. Point Blank Period.

Rule #2 Don't ask for shit!!!!!

A dumb broad will tell you a closed mouth won't get fed. That's some bullshit if I have ever in the history of life heard some bullshit. Go ahead and ask for something. Whatever your heart desires. But be prepared to pay back in some kinda way. So don't be shocked when he or she pushes your head down and tells you to get to work. And don't jerk back up looking all shocked and overly pious. Just open your mouth and get to work. Ya did it before now it's time to do it again. Bet next time you won't ask for shit. If you're okay with that then....you're just a hooker. Besides I don't want anyone asking me for shit all the time. Why would this person? That's the quickest way to make a person stop fucking with you. Don't believe me? Start begging. Folks will bounce before you fill in the blank on, "Can I have ________?"

Rule #3 Be gracious and thankful about what you do get

Last year on Valentine's day a gentleman I casually dated out of boredom ran into me at the mall. Right as I was about to pull out some hard earned dollars to buy myself some pink Air Force Ones he struck up a conversation with me. While chatting about my lack of Valentine's excitement he snuck and paid for my shoes. Awwwww utter sweetness. Did I tell the world? No. (Well now I did) I just called him. Thanked him and moved on. And I never brought it up again. Even after more dates.Why? Because continuously talking about it makes it look like you ain't never had shit. Somebody who ain't never had shit is bound to beg for more shit. Feel me???

Rule #4 Don't expect a damn thing

I am a princess.....in my on mind. I deserve the world. As a child my father cemented that thought process in me. He was also smart enough to tell me that I would have to go out in the world and get that shit for myself. Men love a hard-working woman. They will give her their last. No doubt. After two weeks of working fifty five hours I was tired as all hell. A guy friend took me out for my favorite meal, the movies, and out to my favorite martini bar for the night. As I thanked him for an amazing night with a little lip action (kissing you dirty pervs) he said, "You work hard you deserved it". "Had you been one of these lazy begging hoes I wouldn't have bought yo ass a McDouble". Harsh as phuck right? True? Yes indeedy. 

Please keep in mind these rules apply to each specific situation. Class is now 

Dismissed

Happy Valentine's Day!!

With all the relationship drama I've had the past few......years eff it DECADE I decided to enjoy my singledom and love of my damn self this year. No crying or feeling bad for myself just enjoying a seasonably warm day of Wisconsin weather and doing for me. A great morning of waitressing. A great afternoon of high intensity cardio and weight training. And a nice evening of laundry and blogging. Life with myself is just as fulfilling as life with a great guy. That's not something I tell myself. It is something I truly believe, but even with that being said.....

This seems oh so appropriate.....LOL

The art of the upgrade

"But your dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me"

So for a lack of better things to do this morning I found myself on youtube watching music videos. Not recent hot shyt, but circa 2003-2008 type shyt. The kinda jams that made you think of an old vacation, a goofy ex, or just a different maybe happier time in your life. Lo and behold I came upon Mrs. Jigga and this video. My first thought was....

Ummm damn can I get her workout plan and.....second...

Have I ever in life upgraded a man?

Not a Hermes bag, Purple label type of upgrade, but a conscientious one. Do the men I leave in my wake leave better or worse because of me? Does my presence better or worsen his situation???

And if you get the same answer I did....by all means you are a bad bitch chick! So feel free to sing along LOL

Sometimes ladies....and gentlemen...we just need a reminder...

It's been a rough few weeks.....and when things hit the fan sometimes we forget exactly how beautiful and great we really are.....and for those days and reasons...

Mars and Venus: Is there a good excuse???

It seems lately like a lot of my blogs center around relationships. Or the lack there of. That's not all I am about, but it's the topic that always seems to rear it's ugly head into my life. I just find the relationships between men and women amazing. 


I don't lump myself into categories with other women. I'm special. Not better just cut from a different cloth. I was raised the youngest and only girl. I spent my young days climbing trees with the boys. Rolling to the football games with the guys. Hanging out with my God brothers. Even now when I date men. I find more enjoyment hanging out with my guy and his friends than I do the women they are dating. It's opened my eyes to so many different things. Yet and still the male mind never fails to confuse the hell out of me. 


I have a touch and go friendship with one of my exes. I have brought him up in this blog before. I refer to him as Master Manipulator. MM for short. Anyway this touch and go friendship is that way because he.....well he's him. He always wants another shot...that doesn't exist. It makes things weird. Who the hell wants a weird friendship? So I jet. Last night I called him to say hello. Give a little support for a family loss and basically just catch up. The convo was light until he blurted out the craziest thing. "I cheated on you because you were too good for me". Five seconds of silence. "And that was my way of telling you to move on without me I'm sorry". 
My response? I hit the little red end button on my phone and put it back on the charger. So I sat there on the end of my bed looking bewildered. For lack of better words. Who the fuck does that? 


Then of course. I called back and let him have it. I asked, "What kinda excuse was that?" Through mumbles and apologies he tried to explain hisself to no avail. 


We all have excuses for what we do. I have had friends use them all: I was drunk. He doesn't do what he used to. He cheated on me. I just wanted to try this other guy out. I have a few of my own, but excuses are just that, Excuses. Until he said the realest and most honest thing he's could have let part from his lips in the nine years we've known each other. 

"I mean seriously V what excuse is REALLY acceptable?. None"

So that leads me to ask you.......

Is there ever an instance where cheating is okay and acceptable? If so....when?