So once upon a time there was this weave.........

So I thought long and hard about doing a review on the last hair I had installed for a sew-in. Partially because there tends to be backlash from this company when they hear about youtube vids or blog reviews that lean a bit towards the negative. But......eff it I'm me and this is how I feel about it.


Once upon a time a young lady (me) was up at 3 in the morning lollygagging around on twitter. Halley's Curls was having a contest and giving away their newest hair texture, Candy Curls. I'm not even going to lie. I got excited as hell, because I had been eyeballing it for months. I just had no interest in coming out of my pocket  two hundred plus dollars. Anyway purse opening became completely unnecessary because I won.

That's what it looked like......8 oz. of 14" in candy curls

I went through the companies instructions of HSC (Hydrating, Shampooing, and Conditioning) the hair. I gave it a few days to air dry and ran happily to my stylist to have it sewn-in. 

First complaint: Now maybe this has something to do with my stylists braid pattern or maybe it means I have a big ass head, but I was 2 braids short of all the hair I needed to complete the sew-in. My stylist used two wefts of beauty supply hair to fill in the braids. That slightly irked me because I didn't get the real Halley's experience, but nonetheless it was cute. 

Day 1 2/10/11 all that curly cuteness

Second complaint: If you go to the Halley's Curls website they tell you that their wefts are reinforced. Hmmm Really???? My wefts shed like hell. Seriously crazy shedding all over the place. 

Third Complaint: And it was necessary to comb through it daily because due to waitressing my hair stayed in a ponytail during work and I have to comb out all the tangles I would get during the day. I understand curly hair gets tangles far more but the tangles were just out of control. And the amount of hair that would come out ???? Child please. P.S. I'm a weave-ologist I know how to properly comb out tangles. So that is NOT the reason for the excessive shedding. 

Fourth Complaint: Matting. Is this an issue that comes along with just curly hair???? OMG The back of my hair matted something horrible even when I detangled. I can detangle to a certain point and once I get towards the top of the back weft it becomes obvious that I'm dealing with one big tangle that I will NOT be able to get out.

Week 3 It looks good but.......I'm just no longer feeling it

Plus my workout regimen is not conducive with this sew-in. The curliness of if requires me to spiral curl the front at least once a week.  I am really not into putting that much heat on my hair on a weekly basis. Is the hair gorgeous? Of course it is. Am I really glad I didn't shell out money for it? You damn skippy. It kinda makes me said that I gave up six months of transitioning to relax for this sew-in. If I'm doing something wrong feel free to let me know. But all in all this is all bad for me. Makes me miss the Bobbi Boss Ocean wave that I complained so much about in September. Or maybe just maybe I need to go back to braids....hmm who knows......

Products used on hair: Dove Intensive Care Shampoo and Conditioner, Garnier Fructris Curl Sculpting Cream-gel, and occasionally John Freida Frizz Ease Dream Curls Curl-Perfecting Spray.

Girl Crush......

I don't care what anyone says I love me some Nicole Polizzi aka "Snooki"

She is just freaking adorable to me big hair, big mouth, crazy ways, curvy shape and all. When I saw this cover my girl crush meter immediately went into code red mode. So with all that said....enjoy!

A me recap *oh so random*

LOL
*Don't you just love the Rick Ross "I'm a boss" look I'm giving off LOL*

1) Workouts have been going awesome. There is only one massive downside. I eat the way I work out. *with my gangsta grill on* Nigga I goes hard!!!!! Seriously if I burn off 600 calories in a workout as I'm walking out the gym my head is on two things: 1) Congrats girl you did the damn thang! and 2) Now where the hell are we gonna get you something to eat? SMH I know. Conuterproductive like a mutha, but at least I try to eat healthier now.

2) Bills are kicking me in my extra large arse. Like really hard. I just got an awesome raise and still my bills are looking at my check and laughing. I could be wrong, but I could have swore I had my energy bill laying next to my pay role check and heard the bill say to my check, "Hoe you ain't shit".

3) So I've been thinking about this whole issue of 30 being around the corner. Most importantly how I chose NOT to have children yet because I wanted to be greedy. I wanted to do for myself. But as I look back on the situation I have not made an effort to enjoy my life and do the things I want. Or the things I deserve. That shit stops now. Ain't nothing wrong with some selfishness.

4) I have been bored lately. With life. With television. With the internet (especially facebook hoes), even my blog, basically with everything. Nothing seems to be entertaining anymore.... so I have to re-create my entertainment. Or maybe even re-create myself. *clap clap* Dance Geppetto dance.

5) I'm starting to realize there was a reason why in my youth I didn't deal with a lot of females. Hoes ain't bout shit. Don't believe me??? Watch a reality show full of women. Real Housewives of _________, Football/soccer/basketball/Crackdealer wives (or whatever the hell you wanna call it) or those "hook me up with a D-list has been" shows. Women can be some of the most ass backward hatin' ass creatures on the face of the planet. Seriously. I sense it's time that I slap the shit outta a hoe. Not women. Just the hoes. They seem to be getting outta line a lot lately.  And that's why I love the company of men....*smirks* and for other OBVIOUS reasons.

6) Who besides me thinks Wiz is overrated? Or Waka is garbage? The sad thing is there is nothing I would love to do more than pull a man's dreads and ride him into the oblivion. Mr. Flocka dried that wet dream out Sahara style. Any man that wants to study geometry in college is someone I can get for all his money. smh Hell I rather be a middle schooler so I can be ok crushin' on Diggy Simmons and Justin Beieber. They both got more game AND money.

7) If you can tell me more about world star hip hop and mediatakeout.com than you can the plight of libyan people under Muammar Ghadafi's rule please kill yourself.

Say whaaaaa????: The Obese America Edition

You know the America is fat when.........


Case #1


 Couples are getting married at White Castle. I had a friend tell me about this a week or so ago. The saddest thing about this shit is when I googled it I got like 3 different other couples. Don't believe me?? View for yourself. I couldn't make this ishhh up if I tried.

Of all the ghetto buffoonery in the land I just can't believe dis ish. This is worse than the couple with the airbrushed Mr. and Mrs. Shirts....smh If yall don't sit yall hungry asses down. You better off getting married at big mama's house and enjoying a plate of collard greens, baked mac and cheese, and fried chicken afterwards. At least that gluttony would be situation appropriate. 


Case #2

I love girl scout cookies. To the point where I don't even buy them anymore because I get ridiculous with my love of thin mints. Not as ridiculous as this hoe though. 

According to The Naples Daily News of Naples, FL The Collier County Sheriff's Office says that the 31-year-old woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.

The Naples Daily News reports that the roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children when the children were awake - and hungry - at 1 a.m., and offered to pay her $10, according to police.

Howard and her roommate argued and deputies say that it turned physical - with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign.

Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them.

Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.

Really??? Over some muthafreakin' thin mints????? I'm so done....just done. 

Girl Crush......

Ms. Amber Riley

 and the pictures explain it all!!!

Gold digging 101

You've heard the term tons of times. Hell Kanye made a song about it. Gold digging is synonymous with prostitution (kinda) they go hand in hand. On several occasions I have had exes date questionable women. When I say questionable I mean when I think of what the hell he could see in her I'm stuck with this face.

 You know the type. Sloppy. Unattractive. Dumb. Uncouth (yes a bitch said uncouth), basically just a run of the mill (insert Lil' Duval line here) basic bitch. I can't speak for any other woman, but that shit bothers me. To no end. To the point where I have to be me and pick up the BB, facebook, hop on twitter or whatever way hell pigeon if need be and contact this lousy ex. The convo generally goes like this:

ME: hey I'm sure you don't wanna talk to me and I really don't wanna talk to you, but I gotta quick question

EX: Nahhh it ain't like that what's up ma?

ME: Since there is no better way to put it...what the phuck do you see in this bitch???
EX: What bitch??

ME: You know what bitch ya girlfriend the ugly, dumb one. It must be good sex or good convo or something!

EX: *laughs* Nah it ain't none of that. Honestly She buy me whatever I want.

ME: *after a 5-10 second pause* Well damn I can't compete with that. I was just wondering bye.

There is a skill to everything.  Golddigging included. Most women have it all down pat. I have been blessed with gifts by many male "courters" as my grandma would say. But I have never asked for anything, nor did I ever come to the table expecting anything, or did I have to "pay" for the things given to me. It's the male gold diggers that are fucking the game up. "Falling in Love" with these hoes the week before they get their W-2's and falling out of love with them right as them steak dinners transform back to hamburger helper dinners again. When the H & R Block card runs outta steam so will Lil' mama's love life. Men tend to get hearts and emotions all involved. When emotions get involved people get hurt. Emotionally. If it's me....hell maybe even physically. I bust heads about my feelings. Shid. In this being Gold digging season (tax time). A refresher course seems fitting. Take a pen and paper and let me show you how it's done.  

Rule #1 Have an understanding. 

I am a chronic dater. I date when I'm single and I date when I'm in a relationship. As in date others. I don't like to be stuck in the house all lonely so if some guy wants to ask me out to dinner and some drinks and my boyfriend is being an ass will I turn him down? No. Will he think he has something coming in return? Quite possibly. Will I set the record straight? Ya damn skippy. And I will still have a great date. Why cause I let them know what the situation is. They respect it. Not only do they respect it. I have never had a man ever get mad and refuse to pay or catch an attitude and bounce. Why? I make it clear from the gate that I don't need or want a damn thing. So them not footing the bill won't make or break me. Hell so you took me to Dave and Buster's? What the phuck do you expect? I create a balance of honesty. Either you want me for my great company and infectious personality or ya don't. Point Blank Period.

Rule #2 Don't ask for shit!!!!!

A dumb broad will tell you a closed mouth won't get fed. That's some bullshit if I have ever in the history of life heard some bullshit. Go ahead and ask for something. Whatever your heart desires. But be prepared to pay back in some kinda way. So don't be shocked when he or she pushes your head down and tells you to get to work. And don't jerk back up looking all shocked and overly pious. Just open your mouth and get to work. Ya did it before now it's time to do it again. Bet next time you won't ask for shit. If you're okay with that then....you're just a hooker. Besides I don't want anyone asking me for shit all the time. Why would this person? That's the quickest way to make a person stop fucking with you. Don't believe me? Start begging. Folks will bounce before you fill in the blank on, "Can I have ________?"

Rule #3 Be gracious and thankful about what you do get

Last year on Valentine's day a gentleman I casually dated out of boredom ran into me at the mall. Right as I was about to pull out some hard earned dollars to buy myself some pink Air Force Ones he struck up a conversation with me. While chatting about my lack of Valentine's excitement he snuck and paid for my shoes. Awwwww utter sweetness. Did I tell the world? No. (Well now I did) I just called him. Thanked him and moved on. And I never brought it up again. Even after more dates.Why? Because continuously talking about it makes it look like you ain't never had shit. Somebody who ain't never had shit is bound to beg for more shit. Feel me???

Rule #4 Don't expect a damn thing

I am a princess.....in my on mind. I deserve the world. As a child my father cemented that thought process in me. He was also smart enough to tell me that I would have to go out in the world and get that shit for myself. Men love a hard-working woman. They will give her their last. No doubt. After two weeks of working fifty five hours I was tired as all hell. A guy friend took me out for my favorite meal, the movies, and out to my favorite martini bar for the night. As I thanked him for an amazing night with a little lip action (kissing you dirty pervs) he said, "You work hard you deserved it". "Had you been one of these lazy begging hoes I wouldn't have bought yo ass a McDouble". Harsh as phuck right? True? Yes indeedy. 

Please keep in mind these rules apply to each specific situation. Class is now 

Dismissed

Happy Valentine's Day!!

With all the relationship drama I've had the past few......years eff it DECADE I decided to enjoy my singledom and love of my damn self this year. No crying or feeling bad for myself just enjoying a seasonably warm day of Wisconsin weather and doing for me. A great morning of waitressing. A great afternoon of high intensity cardio and weight training. And a nice evening of laundry and blogging. Life with myself is just as fulfilling as life with a great guy. That's not something I tell myself. It is something I truly believe, but even with that being said.....

This seems oh so appropriate.....LOL