Ladies and gentleman........

I am now currently having a real life shoe-gasm...

#thatisall

Gold digging 101

You've heard the term tons of times. Hell Kanye made a song about it. Gold digging is synonymous with prostitution (kinda) they go hand in hand. On several occasions I have had exes date questionable women. When I say questionable I mean when I think of what the hell he could see in her I'm stuck with this face.

 You know the type. Sloppy. Unattractive. Dumb. Uncouth (yes a bitch said uncouth), basically just a run of the mill (insert Lil' Duval line here) basic bitch. I can't speak for any other woman, but that shit bothers me. To no end. To the point where I have to be me and pick up the BB, facebook, hop on twitter or whatever way hell pigeon if need be and contact this lousy ex. The convo generally goes like this:

ME: hey I'm sure you don't wanna talk to me and I really don't wanna talk to you, but I gotta quick question

EX: Nahhh it ain't like that what's up ma?

ME: Since there is no better way to put it...what the phuck do you see in this bitch???
EX: What bitch??

ME: You know what bitch ya girlfriend the ugly, dumb one. It must be good sex or good convo or something!

EX: *laughs* Nah it ain't none of that. Honestly She buy me whatever I want.

ME: *after a 5-10 second pause* Well damn I can't compete with that. I was just wondering bye.

There is a skill to everything.  Golddigging included. Most women have it all down pat. I have been blessed with gifts by many male "courters" as my grandma would say. But I have never asked for anything, nor did I ever come to the table expecting anything, or did I have to "pay" for the things given to me. It's the male gold diggers that are fucking the game up. "Falling in Love" with these hoes the week before they get their W-2's and falling out of love with them right as them steak dinners transform back to hamburger helper dinners again. When the H & R Block card runs outta steam so will Lil' mama's love life. Men tend to get hearts and emotions all involved. When emotions get involved people get hurt. Emotionally. If it's me....hell maybe even physically. I bust heads about my feelings. Shid. In this being Gold digging season (tax time). A refresher course seems fitting. Take a pen and paper and let me show you how it's done.  

Rule #1 Have an understanding. 

I am a chronic dater. I date when I'm single and I date when I'm in a relationship. As in date others. I don't like to be stuck in the house all lonely so if some guy wants to ask me out to dinner and some drinks and my boyfriend is being an ass will I turn him down? No. Will he think he has something coming in return? Quite possibly. Will I set the record straight? Ya damn skippy. And I will still have a great date. Why cause I let them know what the situation is. They respect it. Not only do they respect it. I have never had a man ever get mad and refuse to pay or catch an attitude and bounce. Why? I make it clear from the gate that I don't need or want a damn thing. So them not footing the bill won't make or break me. Hell so you took me to Dave and Buster's? What the phuck do you expect? I create a balance of honesty. Either you want me for my great company and infectious personality or ya don't. Point Blank Period.

Rule #2 Don't ask for shit!!!!!

A dumb broad will tell you a closed mouth won't get fed. That's some bullshit if I have ever in the history of life heard some bullshit. Go ahead and ask for something. Whatever your heart desires. But be prepared to pay back in some kinda way. So don't be shocked when he or she pushes your head down and tells you to get to work. And don't jerk back up looking all shocked and overly pious. Just open your mouth and get to work. Ya did it before now it's time to do it again. Bet next time you won't ask for shit. If you're okay with that then....you're just a hooker. Besides I don't want anyone asking me for shit all the time. Why would this person? That's the quickest way to make a person stop fucking with you. Don't believe me? Start begging. Folks will bounce before you fill in the blank on, "Can I have ________?"

Rule #3 Be gracious and thankful about what you do get

Last year on Valentine's day a gentleman I casually dated out of boredom ran into me at the mall. Right as I was about to pull out some hard earned dollars to buy myself some pink Air Force Ones he struck up a conversation with me. While chatting about my lack of Valentine's excitement he snuck and paid for my shoes. Awwwww utter sweetness. Did I tell the world? No. (Well now I did) I just called him. Thanked him and moved on. And I never brought it up again. Even after more dates.Why? Because continuously talking about it makes it look like you ain't never had shit. Somebody who ain't never had shit is bound to beg for more shit. Feel me???

Rule #4 Don't expect a damn thing

I am a princess.....in my on mind. I deserve the world. As a child my father cemented that thought process in me. He was also smart enough to tell me that I would have to go out in the world and get that shit for myself. Men love a hard-working woman. They will give her their last. No doubt. After two weeks of working fifty five hours I was tired as all hell. A guy friend took me out for my favorite meal, the movies, and out to my favorite martini bar for the night. As I thanked him for an amazing night with a little lip action (kissing you dirty pervs) he said, "You work hard you deserved it". "Had you been one of these lazy begging hoes I wouldn't have bought yo ass a McDouble". Harsh as phuck right? True? Yes indeedy. 

Please keep in mind these rules apply to each specific situation. Class is now 

Dismissed

It's good to be flexible.....The Bobbi Boss Indi Remi Ocean Wave review

So I haven't done any real beauty blogging, but I gave my wig happy life a bit of a hiatus and bought myself something special for my birthday

The very popular Bobbi Boss Indi Remi hair in Ocean Wave. 

I researched it for MONTHS before I was willing to hand out my hard earned dollars for this hair. At my local BSS it ran for about $99.99/pack for 14 inches (my desired length). To complete a full sew-in I would need two packs. Sorry call me cheap, but I could not envision paying two hundred bucks for weave. Call me what you  want, but that's just a massive negative. After a little penny pinching and digging I found a great website that sells remy hair for wholesale price. By purchasing it on myremy.com I got the same two packs for $65.00/each add in shipping and handling ($15) and I still paid fifty-five bucks less than what I would have paid for retail price. 

Well.....

Initially I loved it. Seriously loved it like it was my own little child then my perfect hair became not so perfect.

Now this is after I followed all the rules. Put it in plaits at night, used a paddle brush to detangle, brushing from the bottom up,wearing a satin bonnet and all. Maybe it was the heat but that shid frizzed big time. And though I was told to not use products on my hair I pulled out the product junkie arsenal. Cause please believe me I was gonna save this hair like it was my child drowning.


The arsenal included: 
Herbal Essences Tousle me Softly Spray Gel
Herbel Essences Totally Twisted Curl Scrunching Gel
Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Leave-In Conditioning Cream
and.....
Jumbo Size Flexi-Rods

and for comedies sake



The two med. size yellow magnetic rollers were for my own natural leave out. 
So after an "interesting" nights sleep in the morning I got this...



Better but yet frizzies and flyaways still exist!!! Grrrrr!


I was going to crop the pic better, but then I realized I matched my bathroom really well that day ;p
So all that to say I am very 50/50 about this hair. I will work with it to the end because of the price but I just can't say I'm willing to purchase this brand again.  
Any suggestions ladies???

Excuse me while I spaz out: Keepin' it Real aka I keeps it 100

I blame this bogus term partly on the hip-hop community. If I hear someone say keep it real one more time my head might cave in. The fact of the matter is the people who scream about keeping it real lie more than a rug. Examples???

"This is the realest shit I ever wrote" -Young Jeezy

So what was the rest of your album?? Fluff? Bullshit? Garbage? A complete and utter lie? Or are you saying that it was real, just not as REAL as the aforementioned written rhyme? Hmm... I wasn't aware that their were degrees of realness. I was under the impression that it was either the truth..or a lie. Good thing I know how to think for myself. If we could get our kids to read a book instead of watching wack ass Terrance and lame ass Rocsi on 106th and Park everyday they would be able to differentiate the fantasy from reality. Let's help out a bit. 



Everything in a video ain't real

 Video vixens (we'll use the nice term) get paid to be in these videos. Some (and notice I use the term some) of these women are successful and quite intelligent in their own right. Do you really think they want the likes of...say FABOLOUS?





That's a negative Boo... the beautiful Ki-toy Johnson owns her own company..take that...
Artists make the majority of their money doing shows. Half of the shyt they rap about owning is something they got for FREE simply for being an entertainer. Either that or....they save their pennies (doubtful). They invest. Or they dumb asses are in debt. I typed three words on google. Rappers. Homes. and.. Foreclosure. I got back...... Dame Dash. DMX. Xzibit. Doug E. Fresh. Wyclef Jean. Just to name a few. It's all about perception people. They want you to see them as something they are not. So let's begin the process of heading back to the REAL version of keeping it real. Or let's use it's original term, Honesty.

People are willing to kill, steal, and ruin the lives of our people for an image. To impress people on this earth that aren't worth impressing. So let me be the first person to hit you with some honesty.


 I am a waitress for a living. My money is not long and I don't claim to be balling out of control. I can pay my bills on time and put gas in my tank. If I want some four hundred dollar weave, bad ass purse, or much needed vacation I'm turning to Well fargo online to help me save for it. Or I'm looking for a second job. Anybody wanna pop shyt about it, be my guest, but that's my 100. That's me.....keeping it real. Try it amongst yourselves.

Just a tad late on the 420.....

Ummm I'm not a smoker. Don't claim to be and don't want to be, but when I saw these shoes. I became damn near obsessed. Anyone know where I can get these??? Please!!! They are the HOTNESS!!!!

*pouts* I really want it *stomps*

Disclaimer: We could take this title and make it mean a lot of things...some of which are perverted. LOL Let your mind wander far off into the gutter. Go ahead. I can wait. LOL

So I'm kinda getting the shakes. Yes, the shakes. Those old drug-induces shakes. I really want to buy some new clothes! I sit and stare at fly ass knee-high boots on EVANS, cute plaid tops on Wet Seal, or Torrid. This is sooo pushing up on my "Get The Hell Out Of Racine" funds. Not to mention my hot, sweaty unquenchable desire for the Tiffany heart bracelet and necklace. Oh....did I mention I am STILL carless. Sheesh, will I ever control myself? Grrrr.