Say whaaaaa????: The Obese America Edition

You know the America is fat when.........


Case #1


 Couples are getting married at White Castle. I had a friend tell me about this a week or so ago. The saddest thing about this shit is when I googled it I got like 3 different other couples. Don't believe me?? View for yourself. I couldn't make this ishhh up if I tried.

Of all the ghetto buffoonery in the land I just can't believe dis ish. This is worse than the couple with the airbrushed Mr. and Mrs. Shirts....smh If yall don't sit yall hungry asses down. You better off getting married at big mama's house and enjoying a plate of collard greens, baked mac and cheese, and fried chicken afterwards. At least that gluttony would be situation appropriate. 


Case #2

I love girl scout cookies. To the point where I don't even buy them anymore because I get ridiculous with my love of thin mints. Not as ridiculous as this hoe though. 

According to The Naples Daily News of Naples, FL The Collier County Sheriff's Office says that the 31-year-old woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.

The Naples Daily News reports that the roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children when the children were awake - and hungry - at 1 a.m., and offered to pay her $10, according to police.

Howard and her roommate argued and deputies say that it turned physical - with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign.

Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them.

Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.

Really??? Over some muthafreakin' thin mints????? I'm so done....just done. 

???

T-Pain's new tattoo. Ummm well He does have a point here and it's far better than the ice cream cone on Mr. Psych ward Gucci Mane's face, but no matter how you look at it....smh yall' doing too much.

If you don't........get in the corner!!

I'm just having one of them days yall' I wanna tell a few people this. I know there's consequences and repercussions to stuff like that, but I mean if it don't get said.....these folks are gonna keep walkin' around thinking being a dummy is ok...these words speak to the masses if they hurt a little don't say anything to me. Simply straighten up and fly right. 

I am a server. The old school term is waitress. That does in no way or language translate to slave. If I'm busy and sweat is pouring down my face Do not. I repeat do not ask me to go get little Bethany a red crayon because she doesn't like orange ones. Do I look like the mutha *bleepin* crayon wrangler??? That's the kinda thing that will make my curly wig stick straight!! Here's a corner take a seat!!!

So I am "friends" with this former plus size porn star on facebook. Apparently she has changed her doggystyle ways, lost weight, and has a WHOLE lot on her mind now! Seems like she forgot who she was. You don't have a gang load of friends on FB because you're a super cool popular chick. You have friends because you used to do PORN sweetie! PORN!!! Ummmm girl please only two years ago you were eating 16 double whopper's with bacon before doin' the Akinyele (aka puttin it in ya mouth) on camera. Now you're talking about black women can't keep men because they are fat and sloppy and ranting and raving about women being hoes?? I mean seriously?? Obviously your mind set ain't very *cough* Crystal Clear! *throws her a dvd* here's a refresher of what you used to be bae!! Go watch that in the corner!!

Relationships are never easy. But if you find someone you truly love no matter what you're going through you should constantly show them that you love them. If not the next person will. Give them the good on the regular. Or the next person will. Compliment or the next person will. You have been warned. You could either cum with someone you love by choice or cum alone because you have NO other option. Ugh Go sanitize your hands and get in the corner!

Don't complain about what you can fix. Fix it or wallow in the despair that is that situation. One of my co-workers goes on and on about how horrible her *cough* (oooh I hate this term) "baby daddy" is. They are almost NEVER together, he doesn't actually "live" with her he's just there to watch the baby (yeah right), he hasn't had a job since 2007, and even then he was only the weed salesmen. Now with all the whining what does lil' miss do??? She gets knocked up again!! Ummm to the corner you go!!!

*Locks door with the dummies inside* wonder how long it will take for them to kill each other with their stupidity?? *walks off*