WTF??

Okay I'm a bad blogger. I haven't blessed you with my presence in a VERY long time. A lot has happened since I last let acrylics hit keyboard. I took a new position in a new city, moved to thus said city, position ended up being pure horse shyt, and now I'm in thus said city doing a new job which is my old job in the new city. Follow that? LOL Anywho because I'm no longer on a dumb schedule and I'm spend more cyber world time I will be blogging much more often. So in in normal random chocolate girl wonder behavior I'll post a song I'm feeling right now...enjoy.

Delta Rae-Bottom of The River

BROTHAS....learn how to use your words.....

a former co-worker introduced me to this song. I listened to it a total of 5 times until I realized he basically just told a girl, "Your juicebox is the shyt". LOL Kinda like "Afternoon Delight" is really "Let's bang in the daytime" LOL. Seems like some men are better at lowkey refrences.

What's wrong with being the fat girl???

Disclaimer: Today I have eaten about 1500 calories....not enough do to me sleeping in earlier. I have however taken in a HUGE amount of fruits and veggies. I knocked out 45 minutes on the elliptical and 15 on the treadmill. I faithfully log my eating and exercise victories and mishaps with my Myfitnesspal app daily. Why? Because it's time to get healthy. I need to drop poundage because the weight I stand at at my stature is just not good. Not to mention now that I'm in my dirty thirties that whole time waits for no man statement means a hell of a lot more. I maybe doing it to tighten up some areas as well but my goals are pretty low. I've always been a heavy girl. From childhood on up. I can't even fathom myself wearing a pair of jeans under a size fourteen. And I'm cool with that. I say all that to say this. Dropping your BMI, weight, and blood pressure can be very important to your health and livelihood. But when its not really connected to that....what's wrong with being the fat girl?

Maybe you watch MTV (I really don't because I'm just over that shit) and got a chance to catch the show Chelsea Settles.

 It was about a plus size girl who was looking to make it big in the fashion world, deal with an unsupportive boyfriend and lose weight in the process. It revolved around the already beautiful young ladies struggles with her career, relationship and weight. I admit her weight was unhealthy as she did weigh in at 324 pounds and much like myself she has an admitted food addiction.

Honestly I gave this show the side eye. Not because I'm pro-obesity, but much like MTV's Fat Camp show both seemed more about the hip, vibrant, youthful MTV generation image rather than about healthy living. If the weight loss is about being hot well then I'm hot in a spanx, leggings, heels, and form fitting top. I gave this show a whole episode and magically forgot about it. Until I saw these pics earlier this week.

and

All I could say was wholly fucking Hotcakes with butter and Karo syrup!!!! Is that even the same effin dame??? The beautiful Chelsea now looked like a super fashionable Natalie Nunn!!! I mean that in a good and bad way. Her weight loss is phenomenal and I am oh so proud of her, but boy is that drastic. Like Jennifer Hudson, Raven Symone, America Ferrera, and so many others. It kinda made me feel some kinda way. Like it was wrong to be me. And that my friend is a lie. What's wrong with being the plus size girl.

I don't ever want to get rid of my thick shapely hips and thighs. My ass is popular all on it's own. My curves are what I adore. I have my problem areas and issues, but I am content right in the plus size section. I'm ok with double digits stitched in my clothing tags and a butt you can sit a drink on. It's never made me any less dateable (well to the ones I would deem date worthy), or smart or talented. As I drink my 10th 20 ounce bottle of water I must admit I am on a quest for a healthier lifestyle, but the plus size vixen I am is the one I will always be....just weighing in at a lower number. So what really is wrong with being the fat girl? We if my life doesn't depend on it.....absolutely nothing.

.....hotness

I'm starting to love Melanie Fiona not to mention this song is pretty life appropriate....

I shouldn't admit this but.......

Right now I am all kindsa digging me some Diggy Simmons. Something about this song makes me feel all warm and gooshy.....all high school crushy and ish..LOLand I love the fact that the love interest was a chocolate girl..... <3 Diggy

....and I know this much is true

I can say many things about 2011. How great it was. How horrible it was.How much I lost. How much I gained. What I sought to learn, but most importantly what I really took from it. I can take this moment to go into a drastic tunnel of retrospect, but I won't. I won't. I won't dwell with what it was but I can deal with what 2012 it can be.

So as we may (or may not know) I'm 30 now. That's that age where you're old enough to not fuck up anymore, but young enough to still party like a 18 year old as long as you keep your body full of b12. Young enough to still fall head over heels in love, but old enough to look before you allow yourself to fall. When work becomes necessity. And family (or lack thereof) becomes priority. That age where tears take a backseat to creating solutions. The stage where irrational, illogical emotional decisions and thinking will destroy you. Well the age that brings along all those things........that is now where I reside. I want to look back at my twenties and think of all the mistakes that put me in a rut at thirty, but once again I can't do that. All I know is that I have to make this next ten years as amazing as possible. Let all the things that were negative fade into the background of memories. Let all the tears dry on my proverbial pillow and create the best possible life for myself that I can. No heartache excuses, No job excuses. No allowing myself to be my biggest setback. This much I know is true. It's time to take control. The best way I can. The only way I know how. Yes...and I know that this much is true.

R.I.P Heavy D

I was raised on hip hop.....real hip hop. And the overweight lover, Heavy D was part of that genre. Heavy D, (better known as Dwight Arrington Meyers) died in his home yesterday of what is still to be considered unknown causes. As of yet its been reported that no foul play has been suspected. Just another unfortunate great loss in the hip-hop community. My adolescence was filled with Heavy D songs.....and this one in particular video was part of the first homemade mixtape I popped into the cassette player of my stepdad's car at the age of 16. Still the jam. Rest In Peace Heavy......the overweight lover will never be forgotten.