Monday, March 29, 2010

OMG You listen to that B%$#@: Personal intuition vs. friendly advice

(noun) intuition
direct apprehension
 or cognition; immediate knowledge, as in perception or consciousness; -- distinguished from "mediate" knowledge, as in reasoning; as, the mind knows by intuition that black is not white, that a circle is not a square, that three is more than two, etc.; quick or ready in sight or apprehension
(noun) advice
an opinion recommended or offered, as worthy to be followed; counsel

In the hills and valleys known as life I have had my share of rough spots. In hindsight I see that my biggest friend in every situation was myself. I'm not sure if this is a woman thing or just a "me" thing, but even with me being my best friend I almost ALWAYS sought out the advice and opinions of my friends. Whether the advice be phenomenal, good, non-existent or downright horrible I asked for it. I guess the real question is.....WHY??????

I guess I had to hear the "Girl if it was me" speech that so many of my girlfriends have given in the past. I think I was clamoring for an answer that might be better than the one floating in my own head. The problem with that is.....even if the answer they had just floored me away with it's "rightness" it was still no better than the answer I had created all on my own.

Simply put. My own decision/answer/advice was created from a much more special place. It came from female intuition. It came from my heart. I can't speak for the rest of my female followers, but intuition has
 let me down. The only times I have ever been disappointed with the outcome is when I chose to second or third guess that intuition. Or worse even listen to the advice of one of my "friends". Not to mention how do you really know if the people offering advice truly has your best interest at heart? Or let's say they care about you and love you, but don't necessarily support your dreams? In those cases you will not get the right advice EVER!!!

 I hate to sound so cliche, but people have a tendency to look everywhere for the answers, but in the mirror. This life is similar to war. You are the leader of your militia. Why look to the advice of the people that are here to hold your the tent poles?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The art of jealousy

Disclaimer:  I am not talking about petty jealousy as in wanting what someone else has. I have never been one to covet. Or better yet I'm not one to be a hater. If something good happens for someone else I am more than happy for them. That form of jealousy ain't never been my style. I'm talking about jealousy in the things that matter... in our relationships. That's where I have to be honest with myself. *right hand raised* Hello, my name is Valecia and I am guilty of *pause.....wait on it* relationship jealousy. Not being jealous of the relationships of others, but having massive bouts of jealous fits in my own. I admit to it, but the interesting thing is....I am not by any means trying to change.

I have had enough life experience to know that things don't always go your way. Especially in relationships. I have climbed some mountains and rolled my ass through some valleys that I care not mention specifically. I'll just say it like this...I learned through on the job experience. That has made me generally leery of certain issues in relationships. Like for instance female friends (hate, grrr loathe them!) So I have things that strike a chord in me. I won't say I occasionally let jealousy rear it's ugly head. It's always out. Out looking for something to be jealous about.

Now I have heard people say things like if you go looking for something you will definitely find it. I don't search through phones or emails. I feel that is a massive invasion of privacy. Something that I don't want being done to me. I do look at myspace friends, facebook statuses and comments, and exactly who he maybe tweeting. I make my assumptions from there and will confront or place my snide comments about it out there just to let him know what I'm thinking. I think that is all okay. Some may say no, but for works. I have a little jealous streak and I feel it is more than ok. I know where and when to draw my line. I have no desire to look like crazy psycho girl friend.


 Well she's the girl who has no limits to her jealousy. She will go through a cell phone while he's asleep, read his emails, curse out innocent chicks, possibly go upside her man's head all over an assumption. She may have even had the police called on her a few times concerning her "domestic antics". If she's advanced in her psych-dom she could have very well threatened someones life. She has no self-control. None. In my opinion a woman like this tends to grow to be "the cat lady",  because no man would put up with that shit for ever. Or...... she may eventually find a man, but he has no backbone kinda like my guy here Cleveland...

As my babycakes puts it: "You're jealous, but a healthy jealous". Some may disagree with it but jealousy is kinda like drinking. It really isn't all that great for you, but in moderation it's ok. If you don't watch your intake it can definitely grow into it's own monster...with all that being said...what's your opinion?

Is jealousy normal in relationships? And what constitutes as too much jealousy?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Feeling a bit....

don't quite know what the deal is but it better get better!!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

To someone uber special

Happy 43rd Birthday to my big Bro Tommie!!
We partying all day! Mimosas for breakfast and wine with lunch and Whiskey w/ dinner! It's going down! I'm blessed to have a big brother like you.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

In memory.....

There's a certain tear-filled smile that covers my face when I think of this man. A happy sadness if you will. A push to keep going, a quiet consistent motivation. It's been almost twenty-one years since you said good-bye and my heart is no less saddened and my tears are no less wet. I miss you daddy! Happy 73rd birthday daddy! Love always, your baby girl, Valecia.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Life as a Fat Girl Part 2

High school is difficult. Ten times more difficult when you're a chubby girl. A short, dark chubby girl with slightly askew hair. Guys weren't really into short, dark, chubby girls. Especially with askew hair. So I was single.  Of course there's no big thing about being a teenager and being single, but when the entire school is boo'ed up you feel like the unwanted link. And that's how  I felt. For the longest. Sometimes I still do. I assumed that the reason I was alone was because I was the fat girl. Boys don't like fat girls. Not even fat boys. So I relegated myself to being the best female friend possible. I even gave myself a motto "Valecia Ann Price, every guy's girl, but no man's woman". It made me laugh a little, but it was a little hurtful if I must be honest. I secretly thought I was undateable. I didn't even know that I could possibly be desirable to other desirable people until I packed my bags and extra long twin sheets and moved to Mississippi for college.

I suddenly became somebody. When I stepped out of the car and onto the heated ground of Senatobia, Mississippi I became...a woman. In the small towns speckled population of 6,682 people word picked up like wildfire about a little chocolate yankee girl who had come down to their humble little community college. So I was being looked for, and checked out, and suprisingly.......liked. I still kept my guard up. Mean as a pitbull, and as anti-social as they came I still secretly smiled cause guys were checking for me. Short, tall, skinny, husky, white, and black. They liked me...and this is where the real dilemna came about, because when you have attention for once in life.......

What the hell do you do with it?

What's worse

What's worse? 

A relationship with loveless sex?


A relationship with sexless love?

Hmmm Just a thought!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Who in the hell left the gate open?

WTF is up with all these lame ass men trying to make a love connection over facebook, myspace, and twitter all of a fuckin sudden? When did men stop feeling like they had to put in some damn effort? So all it takes is a few pic comments and a couple a chats and I should give you my phone number? Tuhhhh Where dey do dat at? I am not COMPLETELY against online love connection, but men don't feel compelled to give a 100% anymore. Just bland ass convo with NOTHING else to offer. These "men" claim they want to get to know me. Umm, no you don't. My man KNOWS me and I put money down that sometimes he probably wish he didn't. I could be the sweetest woman you ever had. I can also be the most evil bitch on the planet and you'd have to ask yourself is that the same chick that cooked dinner last night! Unfortunately for you....yes it is! So what you get to know you either won't like or can't handle so.....let's cut the convo short NOW! *rolls eyes* We have a black president, and it's a new decade. Brothas step ya game up please!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Things my Mama Taught me: Unheeded Good advice on Loot, Life, and Love Vol. I Pt. 3

Disclaimer: This segment has always been called, Things my Mother Taught me, but this one right here. This life altering advice came from both of my parents. It's the reason why I'm standing tall today. My dad (R.I.P) was as big a part of my life as my mother. Unfourtunately he never lived to see his hard work grow. Miss you daddy.

I work and will work anywhere. Any job is a job as long as it's legal and I can go to bed with my morals still in tact. I don't knock a stripper,  or even a "call girl" for that matter. Work is work and whatever pays your rent is YOUR business. Morals are a personal matter. What is okay for others is too much for the next. All that was said to get to:

Lesson 3: Independence aka "No one will take care of you better than you do yourself"

Let me back track a little and give you a small dose of family history. I am my mother's only child and I'm my dad's youngest and only girl. That combination allowed me to get everything I wanted as a little girl. I do mean EVERYTHING! One day out of the blue he handed me a gift boxed wrist watch and before I could get the box out of his hand he tugged on it a little tighter. He looked me in the eye and said, "I'll always do for you, because I'm your daddy and I love you don't expect another man to take care of you make sure you take care of yourself". At the age of five that was a lot to take in, but I always remembered it.

My dad passed away when I was seven, my mom who always treated me like an adult sat me down and discussed finances with me. I was a pretty hot at math so she had me add up all her paychecks for a month then subtract it away with all the bills. Yep, there wasn't a lot left. However she took what she had and made magic with it. Everyday, week, month, and year. She made magic out of what she had. I never went without clean clothes, good meals or anything else. If that meant her ten year old got a new pair of Levi's and she wore a Hanes sweatsuit she did it.
Which leads me to the way I live my life. I have been raised by two very hardworking self-sufficient people. Who showed me how much hard work pays off. I am not a gold-digger and I have never asked for anything from a man in my life.

I watch shows like "The Bad Girls Club" and look at broads like Natalie and wonder is some misguided young girl watching this and thinking that she'll become rich and be on television by laying in bed with an athlete? Why not have the dream to actually
BE the athlete? Or Hell the person that owns the station?

I once had a twenty-two year old associate (who was pregnant w/ second child) tell me she only dated ballers. She also worked as a factory worker and occasionally stole toilet paper from her job. Question of the day: Why the hell would a baller want her? If I was rich I would want to associate with other rich people and talk about rich things. My boyfriend and I would go rich places and make love on rich sheets. Not date non-rich people and make them rich by romantic association. I can't discuss bad day of tips with my pediatric surgeon boyfriend! It just seems wrong! Bad combo!

But better yet there's this sense of pleasant entitlement when I pay my electric bill and have ten dollars for the rest of the week. Why? because I did it myself. No one paid that bill, but me. No one helped me, just like Daddy said it would be and that's just fine by me.

I'm sowwy!

Dear Followers, 

I am sooo sorry I haven't blogged in a week. I have some kind of horrendous virus that's been kicking my ass right and left. Today is the first day I was actually able to do something besides moan, complain and cough. I have a ton of thoughts brewing that will land in at least two posts today. Take care. God Bless. Stay Beautiful.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

ride em' pony....

BTW me and my longtime stylist have been on the quest to find me the ultimate hairstyle of fierceness. I'm pushing hard for a haircut, but she's pretty against it. While we tossed around ideas at the shop she gave me an in the meantime between time hairstyle while we brew over this new me. This is what I've been rocking the past eh... thirteen days.

Yep the old ponytail and pompadour combo. My upkeep of styles is not top-notch (and she knows this). I'm also a hit snooze 3 times before I get up, shower, jump into clothes wet, barely make it to the bus, do my makeup at work in the loo kinda gal. So I don't do complicated hair do's. So although this look is fairly....old it worked.
So today is my hair appointment and I'm ridiculously giddy about this test look. I know what it is, but I swore my over-talkative self to secrecy until I walked out of the salon. Hopefully their will be decent pics.
I have lost *gasp* my digital camera and I'm relying solely on my *gasp* camera on my phone. I've been trying to be better with my cash so I won't allow myself to buy a new one. *sigh* Guess I'll just buy a new memory card for my old one ugh Till then...ta ta beautifuls!


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